SARAH VINE: Matthew Perry was the goofy guy with the big heart who never loved himself enough

When I woke up to the news yesterday, I couldn’t believe it. Chandler, Matthew Perry, Dies at 54. I knew he struggled with drugs and alcohol, but still. What a disaster.

My 20 year old daughter sent a message. She was just as upset as I was. The special thing about Friends is that it spans generations. We always watched it together and laughed at the same silly jokes.

“This is the first time that someone really big from my cultural frame has died,” she said. “It’s like losing Kim Kardashian or Lana Del Rey.”

Chandler was always our favorite guy on the show. The other two male characters had the fireworks, but Chandler was our guy.

Always smiling, very sweet; part lost boy, part gentleman. Never fully believing in himself, self-deprecating to some extent.

My 20 year old daughter sent a message. She was just as upset as I was. The special thing about Friends is that it spans generations. We always watched it together and laughed at the same silly jokes

Chandler was always our favorite guy on the show. The other two male characters had the fireworks, but Chandler was our guy

He had that kind of masculinity that made women feel safe and comfortable. In a sense he was the healthy middle ground between the other two: Joey, the stubborn Italian stallion, Ross the eternal neurotic.

Chandler was the best of both, the kind of man you would want your daughter to end up with.

There’s something so sad about the fact that the actor who played the perfect man on the perfect sitcom was in so deep trouble in real life.

When he published his memoir last year, the world was shocked to see how much Perry had left behind his on-screen character.

That boyish good looks ravaged by drugs and alcohol, that Tigger-like, athletic body (he was always so bouncy on screen), heavy and bloated.

You could tell he was not a healthy man. But I don’t think anyone had any idea of ​​the magnitude of his problem.

Xanax, OxyContin, Dilaudid, methadone, cocaine, alcohol – he abused them all. But the one that started it all was Vicodin, an opioid-based painkiller he started taking in 1997 to deal with the painful aftermath of a jet ski accident.

The maximum daily dose is eight – he ended up with 55. His body was so destroyed that at one point his front teeth simply fell out of his diseased gums after he bit into a peanut butter sandwich.

He spent eight months in a colostomy bag after his intestine burst. No wonder his poor body just gave out.

There’s something sad about the fact that the actor who played the perfect guy on the perfect sitcom was in so much trouble in real life.

That boyish good looks ravaged by drugs and alcohol, that Tigger-like, athletic body (he was always so bouncy on screen), heavy and bloated. You could tell he was not a healthy man

How many Chandlers have suffered Perry’s fate: talented, athletic boys who became broken, hopeless addicts?

There is a certain bitter irony in the fact that America’s boy next door, beloved by mothers and daughters alike, should have ultimately succumbed to the scourge that ravaged that country: the opioid crisis.

Over the past two decades, nearly 600,000 people have died from opioid overdoses in Canada and the U.S., mostly young and middle-aged adults like Perry. The disease could claim an estimated additional 1.2 million lives by 2029, according to the medical journal The Lancet.

How many Chandlers have suffered Perry’s fate: talented, athletic boys who became broken, hopeless addicts?

Way too much, is the answer. He spent $9 million trying to get off these drugs. What hope does the common man on the street have?

Ultimately, Perry’s tragedy is America’s tragedy. He wanted to be remembered for his work helping other addicts.

But the world will always remember him as the crazy guy with the big heart who everyone loved, but who unfortunately never loved himself enough.