SARAH VINE: Harry’s right. A crisis can unite families …but actions speak louder than words

For once, Prince Harry is right. He says his father’s illness could have a unifying effect on the family.

From my own point of view, this is 100 percent true. My family could give the Windsors a run for their money on dysfunctionality.

Lots of trauma, resentment and bad feelings – with consequences that reverberate from generation to generation: infidelity, arguments, denial, depression, neglect.

And yet when my father – in many ways the focus of so much of it – became seriously ill a few years ago, we came together.

My brother and I, who, despite being very close as children, have had little contact over the past thirty years, have become, if not best friends, but certainly able to communicate and work together in a friendly and constructive way.

While he was once the only person I ever came to physical blows with, we now exchange cheerful WhatsApps and eyeroll emojis as we deal with the challenges of caring for our grumpy, sick and almost comically ungrateful old goat of a father. He still makes me demented, but there is no malice involved.

When you come from a family as fucked up as mine, it’s comforting to know that even the King of England isn’t immune to such vicissitudes.

The truth is that, perhaps a bit like Harry, the grim reality of almost losing the old man made us realize that no matter how much we hated the way he behaved when we were children, no matter how big a mess that No matter how badly he had treated our mother, he had made us human beings, and whether we liked it or not, we were inextricably linked to him – and to each other.

And that helping to clean up the mess Dad seemed to have made in his (and our mother’s) life, and supporting him on his physical journey to recovery, was not only part of his healing process, but ours as well.

At the risk of sounding too Pollyannaish, I hope something comes from this bit of olive branch. If not now, then soon. Before it is too late

There was – and remains – enormous benefit to be gained from tackling the demons that tear families apart, from rising above resentment, from not only offering forgiveness where it is not deserved, but also from going a step further to go.

When friends congratulate me for making an effort to help my father because of his behavior, I always correct them. Not selfless, but selfish, actually. Because in the end, I’m the one who benefits the most: I get my little brother back, I see the smile on our mother’s face, I get a glimpse of the old man before life turned sour.

These are all moments of joy, little nuggets of emotional gold that are far more beneficial to me (and by extension, my own children) than the icy veil of resentment.

If my parents shake off this mortal coil – not, I hope, too soon – my family can close a toxic cycle that has haunted us for generations, since my grandfather went mad in the jungles of Burma, since my grandmother was divided up for postpartum depression and electroshock therapy.

Parents don’t destroy you because they want to; they do it because they repeat patterns of trauma in their own lives. You can perpetuate that cycle or try to end it. And to do that, compromises are necessary.

Many families are like that. That is why the Royal soap is so fascinating. Their vulnerabilities, no matter how embarrassing, difficult or embarrassing they are, make them relatable.

When you come from a family as screwed up as mine, it’s reassuring to know that even the King of England isn’t immune to such vicissitudes.

So Harry is right. Such crises can and do have ‘reunification effects’ on families. But words are one thing, actions are quite another. Harry may say it, but does he mean it? Does he actually understand what reunification means? If his recent actions are anything to go by, no.

Naming his website Sussex.com and adopting the title bestowed upon him by the late Queen as the surname of his children is not an act of reunification. It’s a move that could only worsen the feelings of frustration, resentment and anger between him and his family.

As for his offer to be willing to take on a temporary royal role while the king is unable to attend – again, that’s not about helping his father, it’s about helping Harry remind the world of his royal connection .

To make the thing work, sacrifices have to be made. Selflessness is a key element, as is the ability to admit where you made a mistake. Acknowledging your own negative behavior and apologizing for it is an important starting point, one where Harry doesn’t seem to be.

Words are not enough – you have to show that you mean it. You also need to understand that sometimes it’s not about you, it’s about the greater good of the family.

At the risk of sounding too Pollyannaish, I hope something comes from this bit of olive branch. If not now, then soon. Before it is too late.

I don’t know why everyone is so hysterical about plans to recruit foreign dentists. I’ve only had one English dentist, and that was a butcher. The rest were Italian, Asian or, like my current dentist, Mr. Marwa, from the Middle East. There’s a reason why having ‘English teeth’ is considered a joke…

The breast milk theory is just crazy

According to the University Hospitals Sussex NHS Foundation Trust, breast milk is now called ‘breast milk’ and can be produced by both men and women, even if in the case of the former it must have been drug-induced and is a weak sauce compared to milk. the real thing.

When women like me talk about the invasion and usurpation of our safe spaces, it is not only in areas where the presence of biological males endangers vulnerable women, or where it steals their performance in, for example, the sporting arena.

It is situations like these, where our identity is eroded to meet the wishes of a minority. Worse, what’s truly terrifying is the idea that in order to support this crazy theory, babies need to be fed this. There is only one word for such dystopian behavior: eugenics.

Another Saturday, another pro-Palestinian march. What irritates me about some protesters is the fact that they can’t spell. One woman was arrested for carrying a sign that read “Long Live the Intifada.” I’m sure that’s not how you spell ‘peace’.

Another Saturday, another pro-Palestinian march. What irritates me about some protesters is the fact that they can’t spell

‘Drowsy’ Joe Biden continues to demonstrate his unfitness to be president – ​​while Hillary Clinton now worries about his cognitive skills. The death of Putin critic Alexei Navalny reminds us of what is at stake. In 2021, Biden said there would be “devastating consequences” if Navalny were to die in prison. I wonder: Does Biden now remember who Navalny was?

Not my favorite store anymore

John Lewis has always been synonymous with motherhood in my mind. While I was pregnant, I browsed through the strollers and cots. I bought a lot of my baby and nursery supplies there and nursed my children in Peter Jones.

There was always a visit to the toy department at the weekend. So to discover that John Lewis is now giving parents advice on how to strap their daughters’ breasts feels like the ultimate betrayal. I have been a loyal customer all my life. Unfortunately not anymore.

Everyone tells me I should watch One Day on Netflix, which of course means I don’t.

I’m in my Griselda Blanco era now (played in the Netflix drama Griselda by Sofia Vergara)

Besides, I’m done whining about men. I’m now in my Griselda Blanco era (played in the Netflix drama Griselda by Sofia Vergara, above).

Delays in diagnosing skin cancer due to lockdowns have led to an estimated 12,000 years of life lost. I had a dodgy mole a few years ago and after much persuasion I got the GP to refer me. The hospital told me I could get an appointment in 18 months. That is one way to reduce the number of patients.

If Ant McPartlin, as reported, did not tell his ex that he and his new wife Anne-Marie were expecting a child, he has fallen in my estimation. He was with Lisa, his first wife, for 23 years.

If Ant McPartlin, as reported, did not tell his ex that he and his new wife Anne-Marie were expecting a child, he has fallen in my estimation

She supported him through his depression and alcohol abuse, and helped him shape his TV career. She gave him the best years of her life – the childbearing years – and yet they never had the child she longed for. The least he could have done was to grant her the kindness of a phone call.

Has London Mayor Sadiq Khan talked to Harry and Meghan? What else can explain his absurd new names, at a cost of more than £6 million, for London Overground lines? That kind of thing can wash up in Montecito, but Londoners can spot a scammer from a mile away. Especially in an election year.