Sex is sex is sex. Despite the emotional anguish that comes with it, the act of sex is easy, simple, and more than often over in minutes. (I wanted to say seconds, but don’t mean to offend).
The funny thing is that despite my decade in the porn industry, I rarely talk about sex. Believe it or not, I’m quite conservative.
And despite my experience as an escort and getting to know men better than they know themselves, the job was always more about connection and emotional intimacy than the physical side of things.
Sex is not the main reason why men book escorts. It’s not the main reason they spend thousands and thousands of dollars and I’ve talked at length about why they cheat – that they’re looking for something deeper than a quick thump in bed.
Because let’s face it, sex isn’t hard to come by these days, regardless of gender.
Samantha X revealed that sex is not the main reason men book escorts
Pizza? To order. drink? To order. Sex? Which online dating app will it be tonight?
Not only do I know how men think and why they act the way they do, I also know what they like in bed. I also know that they find it difficult to express their secret desires, so I’m going to do it for them.
Here are the top three bedroom tricks that turn men on. Sex is a two-way street and women’s needs are just as important, but I’ll get to that in another column.
1. Trust
I’ve said it before, but it’s really the main thing that turns her on.
You don’t have to have a size 80 body, you don’t need big boobies or a labia correction to be sexy – you are sexy just the way YOU ARE.
Keep the lights on, open the curtains, don’t hide in the dark hoping he doesn’t see your stretch marks. He won’t notice them as often as you do.
Don’t apologize about your body, don’t point out the things you hate about your appearance. Own who you are, without excuses. Nothing excites a man more than a woman who owns it.
And I can assure you that they are just as concerned about how they look naked as you are. We live in a fake world, where our life and appearance are filtered. It’s not real and it’s intimidating for all of us.
The most successful escorts I know are girls next door, real women, real bodies. Be authentic, be confident, and be unapologetically yourself. The old adage “fake it till you make it” is spot on when it comes to taking your clothes off.
“Dirty talk is an art and the biggest tip I can give you is the subtler it is, the sexier,” Samantha X advised
2. Dirty talk
There’s an art to dirty talk and the biggest tip I can give you is the more subtle it is, the sexier.
If you yell, “Give it to me now big boy,” chances are he will, and it’s all over before your head hits the pillow. Or the pressure all gets too much and he loses his erection.
What I learned is that slow and steady wins the race, imagine sexy scenarios, paint a picture in his head, build tension slowly.
I’m not telling you to pretend he’s the handyman coming to fix your washing machine – we know sex isn’t German porn – but imaginative role-play works wonders.
3. Know your body
This one is super important. You need to know what turns you on. Because if you don’t, how will he?
Sex can be associated with shame. Many of us are embarrassed to like it a certain way, or feel too embarrassed to say what we want in bed. Do not be. The more you understand your body and what turns YOU on, the more turned on he will be.
You’re making his job a lot easier, and if you’re in the throes of fun, he will be too. Nothing turns a man on more than seeing his partner turned on and enjoying it. It’s a huge ego boost for them, and they want to see the person they love happy.
If you don’t know your body, or what you like in bed, experiment. Invest in sex toys, explore your body. The sexual wellness industry is booming. Sex is supposed to be fun. It should bind two people.
You don’t have sex to keep them happy (or at least you shouldn’t be), you should enjoy the pleasure as much as they do.
Men are not that complicated, their needs are simple. But as for women? Our needs are much more advanced. Fascinated? Find out next time.