The 15 rules you need to know before your cleaner comes… because she really DOES judge you

Over the past 16 years, my husband and son have come to dread Tuesday nights. It’s when I run around our four-bedroom house in the Home Counties, with a vacuum cleaner and duster, shouting: ‘She’ll be here in the morning.’

‘She’ is not the Queen or Princess of Wales, but our cleaning lady. I love her dearly, but I can’t bear the idea of ​​her seeing my house in a tip.

Although my husband thinks it’s ridiculous, I’ve spoken to other friends who have cleaners and they all agree that they can’t bear the shame of being considered ‘sloppy’. And it’s also a hot topic of discussion on Mumsnet, with women wondering exactly what you should do – and whether your cleaner will judge you if you don’t.

According to Katrina, the cleaner in question, your cleaner really judges you on the condition of your home – and expects some chores to be done in her absence.

She says: ‘I hate wasting time tidying up piles of children’s toys or moving dirty laundry when I could be cleaning areas a customer shouldn’t, like skirting boards and lampshades.’ But my friends and I agree that it’s still often difficult to know what to clean and what’s acceptable to ask of your cleaner.

That’s why I asked Katrina to explain what your cleaner expects from you. Here are her 15 golden rules…

Tidying up children’s toys

I have no problem putting away some toys, but you wouldn’t believe the mess I have to deal with in some homes. After the summer holidays I visited one customer. Her kitchen is 20 feet long and 15 feet wide and there were arts and crafts everywhere. They had covered every surface. You couldn’t see the dining table. It took half an hour to clean that up before I could get to the normal stuff like toaster crumbs. So I couldn’t do her eighth toilet because I wasted time cleaning up glitter. It’s a waste of my time and her money.

Pick up dirty laundry

I’m not a maid. I don’t want to see dirty underwear or smelly socks on the floor. Laundry baskets exist for a reason and it is not difficult to put them where they belong. I understand that teenagers aren’t very good at it, but adults should know better. I can’t get into the utility room of one customer because of the dirty laundry on the floor. This isn’t just a one-time event; there are piles of laundry every week. I bought her two large boxes for her white and dark clothes, but I still have to step over piles of dirty clothes.

Clean your shower after every use

I can always tell which customers don’t clean their showers between my weekly visits. One lady has a husband and four boys, and they all take advantage of it. I try to descale it once a week but it falls to pieces and they wonder why. I can only do so much per week. People should take two minutes each time they shower and spray with a daily spray that you can leave on or rinse off. Preferably use a limescale remover that removes the unsightly water stains that accumulate on the shower screen.

Throw away sanitary products and diapers

Over the years I’ve found used feminine products all over bedrooms and bathrooms. I suggest that when you know your cleaner is coming, you put all sanitary products in a diaper bag and put them in the bathroom bin. The same goes for babies’ dirty diapers. If you have time, empty this particular bin yourself – but as long as the sanitary products are in a bag, I think most cleaners can empty the bin just fine.

Perform basic maintenance of your home

I’m constantly amazed at the number of beautiful houses I have to clean that are full of mold and limescale, especially in the bathrooms. Their kitchen countertops will be pristine, but their bathroom will have mold growing. In some cases, the mold around the tub is black, indicating that no one has bothered to clean the tub in years. It’s like they don’t notice.

These things need regular maintenance, which I can’t do on a weekly visit – so spray the surfaces regularly to prevent mold, buy a limescale remover and do a thorough cleaning every now and then.

One customer has a handheld shower, but the hose is so corroded that water runs everywhere. I keep telling her to replace the hose. She even has a new hose, but she never gets around to replacing it.

Leave spilled liquids and dirty pans behind

I absolutely expect to wipe down kitchen surfaces – I take pride in it. That includes crumbs and spills, like sticky jam and stray cereal.

I also like to wash pans and other hand-wash only items, but please leave them next to the sink and don’t sit in them in a pile of cold, foamy water that I have to deal with.

Run the dishwasher

If you leave the daily dirty dishes and cutlery on the side and I have to put them in the dishwasher, it’s just a waste of time – especially if I empty them first too. I could have spent that time cleaning out cobwebs in your guest room. It’s up to you how you want your cleaner to spend his time, but are you ever going to sweep away the cobwebs?

Don’t leave stained sheets

I like to make beds and if someone asks me, I’m happy to change the sheets. I also have some very elderly clients and others with young children – and of course I accept that accidents happen. But some of the beds I’ve had to change are incredible, so consider the condition of your sheets and mattress before having your cleaning lady change your bed.

I once pulled back a duvet and found a dirty towel, covered in stains. When I lifted the towel there were more stains on the sheet, mattress protector and even on the mattress itself.

I’m still very shocked by that.

Clean your countertop

It never ceases to amaze me how many people scrape food off their plates into the sink instead of into the garbage can and let it solidify for a week. One customer’s drain smells like a slaughterhouse because they use raw dog food and what’s left is pushed down the drain. I’ve tried every cleaning product to get rid of the smell, but it doesn’t work.

If you don’t want anyone to see it, put it away

I don’t go into people’s drawers and closets – they are private. Contrary to popular belief about cleaning products, I simply don’t have time to snoop around.

But in the past, clients have left pornographic photos and sex toys out in the open, and I really don’t want to see those things.

Cameras don’t bother me

There is some controversy about leaving security cameras running in your home when a cleaner comes. I have no problem with it; Nowadays I accept that people are security conscious and that I have nothing to hide. However, I can only speak for myself on this.

Neat tissues – and nail clippings

This should be obvious, but don’t leave dirty tissues that pose a health risk on the floor. The same goes for things that are downright gross: A couple used to clip their toenails and leave them in a pile on the coffee table for me to clean up. Why?

Clean up after your pets

The number of times I’ve been asked to pick up dog poop, or to clean carpets because a dog is in heat – I may be a cleaner, but they are your pets and you are responsible for their care. I look at some dogs’ bowls and see scum on the water. Then there is old, congealed dog food around the sides of their bowls because they are not cleaned regularly. It is also very sad when pets’ beds are smelly and covered in hair because they have never been washed. I will wash the bowls, but if you don’t keep your dog’s bed clean, it reflects poorly on you as the owner.

Don’t ask your cleaner to clean something that really requires a professional

I am a cleaner, not a window cleaner, oven cleaner or carpet cleaner. If you want these things done, do them yourself or go online and find a company that provides these services and pay for them. There are exceptions – I do a window near a sink because as soon as I clean the sink I see the window and think, ‘It’s splashing, I want to make it look nice.’ But I’m not trying to make a fishing rod for my own back. I once cleaned someone’s fireplace and before I knew it, the customer had bought me the entire set and expected me to do it every week. I felt like saying, “Do I look like a chimney sweep?”

Check your toilets

Obviously cleaning toilets is part of my job, but think about what you leave behind so that the cleaner can find it. A very wealthy couple we worked for lived in London during the week and only came to their country house on weekends. Most weeks I would open the toilet lid and find that I had left a ‘present’ that they hadn’t bothered to flush.

Other customers leave skid marks in the bowl and urine on the seat. Boys are the worst at this. But how hard can it be to throw a little cleaning solution or bleach down there every day?