Rugby league hardman Josh McGuire’s heartbreaking admission about the day he tried to end it all after his footy and personal lives fell apart
Known as an uncompromising enforcer on the football field and branded a 'grub' by countless rival football fans, Josh McGuire has revealed how mental illness can affect even the strongest of men.
The stalwart forward played 266 first-year games for the Brisbane Broncos, North Queensland Cowboys, St. George Illawarra and Warrington Wolves before two heavy suspensions ended his football career.
In a candid conversation with Travis Cochran on The Technician Podcast, McGuire shared a series of funny anecdotes about his playing career.
But things got very serious when the 33-year-old opened up about how close he came to taking his own life when his football career and marriage both collapsed.
Former NRL hardman Josh McGuire has opened up about his mental health struggles and suicide attempts after his career ended
McGuire was known as one of the strongest men on a football field during a long playing career in the NRL and in the UK
McGuire revealed that his wife left him and took the children with her after his football career in Britain ended in disgrace.
He had long struggled with depression after years of being labeled the bad guy, and the loss of his family was the catalyst for his attempt to commit suicide.
“So I have a big shed in the backyard…I live on a lot,” McGuire said.
“So I walk to the barn, I think my wife is gone. She packed up the children and left.
'I went to the shed, I was going to commit suicide. So I was done, I was fucking everywhere. My footy was damned.
“So I jumped on the table and we didn't, my shed didn't have a rope. So we had a whole bunch of stuff.
'So I tried to hang myself with a chain. I put a chain around my neck and I sit on the table and I try to figure out how to… work up the courage to actually do it.”
It was only pure coincidence that stopped the former Queensland and Australian representative from taking the final step, with his wife returning to check on his welfare.
“So I'm sitting there thinking about the damn thing, like I'm thinking about the kids and then my wife comes back,” he said.
“I was like what the fuck.
“She comes in and takes me off this table and [helped] take off the chain.”
From a young age, McGuire was criticized for his playing style, often referred to as a grub due to his tough, uncompromising approach to his foot.
McGuire with the North Queensland Cowboys (left) and pictured during his days with the Broncos
McGuire has since deleted all social media to avoid the constant barrage of abuse he routinely received throughout his career.
“I don't need social media, I don't need this stuff,” he said.
'I've been off social media since then, I've gotten rid of everything.
'It wasn't social media that did it, it was my own shit. But it was just a constant reminder of, like, I was a bad person.
“So I started to believe it, like you're just a piece of shit, like you don't need it, your kids don't need it.
“It was a selfish decision, like I was really angry.”
McGuire's former Broncos teammate Alex Glenn praised him for his bravery as he spoke about his darkest hour.
“One of the toughest players I played alongside and this is the side of football players that people don't see, we are only human and I love that my brother could share this,” he wrote.
'It breaks my heart that he went through it, but hopefully he can inspire others. There are plenty of things in life to live for, no matter how hard the struggle is, it is always worth it in the end.”
Beneath the rough exterior, McGuire felt all the insults were being hurled his way on social media, impacting his mental well-being.
McGuire's candid admission also drew praise from many football fans, while others shared their own stories of grief, depression and loss.
'Respect. It takes a lot of courage to talk about things like this,” one person wrote.
'He did some messy things on the pitch, but we've all seen worse. He should be very proud of the things he has achieved, actually insane to even make it to first grade, let alone become a legend in the sport. I hope he stays strong, I believe deep down he is a good man,” another added.
Podcast host Travis Cochran was a very talented junior rugby league player who was on a junior representative tour with McGuire.
He chose to pursue a career in media rather than professional rugby league and hopes McGuire's admission will help others in the same boat find the strength to seek help.
“It was an honor for Josh to open up so much in our space and feel comfortable enough to do that,” Cochran said.
'We hope this will make other men do the same… especially footballers… because I've been one most of my life and have so many friends who are or have been one too.
“I know the wounds that some people can carry with them and never talk about them because somehow it's still considered weak to do so.
“Josh was happy I shared this and he hopes it helps other 'hard' men open up too.”