>
ROLAND WHITE reviews last night’s TV: All you can say about these Grand Designs is… Wow!
Grand Designs: House of the Year
Rating: ***
In Monster Mansion: HMP Frankland
Rating: ***
Here’s a brilliant idea for a fantastic new real estate show. I call it the wow factor.
The concept is that five houses compete and are judged on the number of times a presenter says ‘Wow!’ say. while they are being guided. I only see a small problem. This seems to be all the format of Great Designs: House of the Year (C4).
“Oh wow!” said interior design expert Michelle Ogundehin as she stepped into a pink house on the beach on England’s south coast. ‘Wow!’ she added when she saw the high-tech steam room.
“Wooooah!” exclaimed host Kevin McCloud when he first glimpsed a renovated 1960s bungalow.
But they were down-to-earth and dejected compared to architect Natasha Huq, who visited a house in Stirlingshire in the shape of a large cube clad in larch wood.
Here’s a brilliant idea for a fantastic new real estate fair. I call it the wow factor. The concept is that five houses compete and are judged on the number of times a presenter says ‘Wow!’ say. while they are being guided. I only see a small problem. This already seems to be the format of Grand Designs: House Of The Year (C4)
A chest of drawers built into the stairs? Wow! The view from the bedroom window? Wow! I counted four ‘wows’ in total, but I may have missed a few.
Not that this enthusiasm was entirely misplaced. The five properties on display last night have all been longlisted for the Royal Institute of British Architects House of the Year award.
They were all difficult to build in different ways – the beach house was 100 yards from the nearest road – and they all had quirks and points of interest wherever you looked.
Two of the homes were shortlisted for finals last night: The Pink House and The Red House, a mix of red brick and dazzling green paintwork that architect Damion Burrows says is “a mind-boggling work of postmodern art.” like I’ve ever seen’.
Unfortunately, some neighbors don’t see it that way. The owner once heard someone whisper loudly on stage, “It’s hard to imagine anything less suitable for the venue.”
What can you say to that other than: ‘Wow!’
While C4 has cornered the market in real estate shows, Channel 5 has done the same for prison shock documents. After glimpses of HMP Belmarsh, HMP Wakefield and HMP Styal, Inside Monster Mansion (C5) took us to HMP Frankland, a maximum security prison in County Durham.
This is where the Yorkshire Ripper was kept. Soham killer Ian Huntley won’t be coming out any time soon. Nor Levi Bellfield, the murderer of Milly Dowler, nor Wayne Couzens, who killed Sarah Everard while she was a police officer.
It is a gray, damp, shabby building in which there is a constant threat of violence.
While C4 has cornered the market in real estate shows, Channel 5 has done the same for prison shock documents. After a glimpse of HMP Belmarsh, HMP Wakefield and HMP Styal, Inside Monster Mansion (C5) took us to HMP Frankland, a maximum security prison in County Durham
There are riots and accusations of racism. An unpopular prisoner can be ‘beaten’ – attacked with boiling water or oil. “You say the wrong thing to the wrong person on the wrong day and you could end up with a pencil in your eye.” said an ex-con named Razor. It’s a far cry from porridge.
Yet Ricky Killeen, sent to Frankland at age 21 after a machete attack, couldn’t contain his excitement when he got there. He admitted that he danced in his cell the first night. Ricky was thrilled to finally follow a family tradition: his father served for 14 years. “From a young age, seven or eight,” he said cheerfully, “I always wanted to go to prison.”
If the scammers are lucky, they may get letters from so-called hybristophiliacs – women who fall in love with violent inmates.
Apparently safety is part of the attraction. With their men safely locked up, they can enjoy a romance without fear of attack. Life can be really weird sometimes.
- Christopher Stevens is gone.