Many people have a type – and when they try to describe it, they often refer to physical features such as blue eyes or brown hair.
But for others, known as sapiosexual, their type is cerebral – that is, they are sexually attracted to highly intelligent people and consider brains the most important quality in a partner.
And it seems sapiosexuality is on the rise, with people taking to platforms like TikTok to talk about how horny a high IQ can make them under the collar, with the sapiosexual hashtag racking up nearly 4.5 million views on the platform.
However, the label is not without controversy. To understand why, it’s important to understand exactly what sapiosexuality is.
Barbara Santini, a psychologist and sex counselor at Peaches and Screams, told FEMAIL, “Sapiosexuality has become a popular term in recent years to describe individuals who are primarily sexually attracted to intelligence or intellect.
People known as sapiosexuals are primarily sexually attracted to intelligence or intellect over other attributes (stock image)
“While physical attraction can still play a role in any relationship, a sapiosexual person puts more emphasis on mental connection and intellectual compatibility.”
She added, “Intelligence is the top priority for a sapiosexual, and they put less emphasis on superficial traits.”
Psychiatrist and medical educator Dr. Ramya Mohan added: ‘[Sapiosexuality] is a relatively new terminology with broad connotations based on context. It is a term that has become more common in recent years.
“It is worth noting that sapiosexuality can be interpreted broadly and encompass everything from the preferential search for intelligence in relationships or partnerships to a driving sexual and almost obsessive need for intelligence in a partner (especially other physical, emotional, gender-based, and orientation). -based attributes, preferences and needs).’
It is difficult to estimate exactly how many people fall under this banner – after all, most people want an intelligent partner.
According to the authors behind a 2018 study published in the journal Intelligencea much smaller proportion are specifically sexually aroused by intelligence.
The University of Western Australia researchers noted that the value of high intelligence goes beyond what it offers in terms of a partner’s potential when it comes to basic survival and parenting.
Self-professed sapiosexual and sexual wellness expert Hope Flynn (pictured) says sapiosexuals are turned on more by intelligence than physical attraction.
And some people value being intelligent so highly that a high IQ can generate sexual arousal beyond any other attribute – these people could be described as sapiosexual.
Their findings suggest that one to eight percent of people between the ages of 18 and 35 are sapiosexual.
So while many lonely hearts will seek an intelligent other half, not so many of them will be sexually aroused by a potential partner’s IQ over and above all the other qualities they may possess.
So do you fall into this category? And what signals can you watch out for? According to expert Hope Flynn, who is head of content at the sexual wellness brand iPlaySafe and a self-confessed sapiosexual, there are some pertinent signs.
She told FEMAIL, “The first and most common sign that someone is sapiosexual is that they are more aroused by intelligence than by physical attraction. Intelligence is the essential ingredient to a sapiosexual’s arousal.’
They prefer intelligence over anything else, it outweighs what the person does for a living, their other interests or how much money they make, she added.
Among the other signs she noticed was an aversion to small talk, explaining, “In any relationship, conversation is key, but sapiosexuals crave a deeper level of knowledge from their partner. Being able to have deep and meaningful conversations is the key to being a sapiosexual – a superficial level of knowledge just isn’t enough.’
One interesting sign Hope listed was that sapiosexuals are “more attracted to people who can rationalize and communicate their feelings without exploding or freaking out in difficult situations.”
She noted, “They can’t tolerate people who unravel easily.”
Interestingly, when it comes to social media, Hope suggests that sapiosexuals are more likely to care about your Instagram caption than the photo itself — which is related to wanting to learn.
In fact, she said, they might even seek out people they think are smarter than them because they always want to learn and grow.
“They are obsessed with his/her intellect and thoughts and want to hear more about it because it helps enrich their knowledge,” added Hope.
Likewise, they have an intellectual thirst and are excited by bright perspectives and intelligent answers.
If you notice that attraction tends to grow over time, it could be a sign of sapiosexual tendencies.
“Because sapiosexuals like to dig deep into the intellect, they become more attracted to a person over time,” Hope said.
“Experiencing someone’s humor, thoughts, emotional intelligence and observing how someone resolves conflicts are things that are extremely exciting.”
Finally, she said, sapiosexuals admire others who have a passion for knowledge because it aligns with their personal desire to expand and learn at all times.
Dr. Ramya Mohan agreed, adding, “If a potential mate is observing, commenting, or complimenting your intelligence, knowledge, or quick answers with preference or fullness, you may be talking to a sapiosexual”
She went on to explain that sapiosexuals tend to “highly value and value these traits.”
“They tend to focus on (and are attracted/excited by) intelligent, witty, complex and lengthy conversations, book or academic based discussions, deep meanings of the world or life, established morals and a learned attitude, Dr. Moyan said.
While a sexual bias toward intelligence may seem benign, it’s not without its critics, who have labeled it skillful and classic.
As Hope Flynn explained, “You could see people with learning disabilities or those from disadvantaged backgrounds who have less access to higher education, travel, and technological advancement being excluded.”
Moreover, the term intelligence itself is often used in reference to what we colloquially think of as “book learning”; many of the people who fall into this category have probably had access to a better education. For this reason, some argue that the preference can be seen as classist.
“Being sapiosexual can indicate that someone is only interested in someone who had the privilege of going to a certain school or getting a certain degree,” Hope said.
“It could be interpreted as quite Eurocentric and devaluing for people without access to the above.”
However, she added, “I am a self-confessed working-class, sapiosexual who believes intelligence is subjective. Intelligence has a lot to do with an individual’s morals, values, political and religious beliefs.
“There are also so many forms of intelligence to consider when wondering if you are sapiosexual, such as emotional intelligence, spiritual intelligence and so on… if one has a desire and thirst for knowledge… this will be evident regardless of the class in which they were born.’