Ricky Gervais has shared how his recent illness gripped him with fears that he was suffering from liver and stomach cancer.
The self-proclaimed hypochondriac comic, 61, said he was hit in the middle of the night by vomiting and diarrhea so severe he was also convinced he could be suffering from everything from radiation and cyanide poisoning to coronavirus.
Ricky had told fans in a tweet on May 12 how he was suffering from the “worst illness of my life” when he was struck by a stomach ache over the course of eight excruciating hours.
He’s now open about the mental anguish it caused, telling fans in an online Q&A: “What happened was, it was Wednesday night, around 1am, and I had a pain in my side that woke me up – like a stabbing pain. It was like “Aaaaah”. That never happens.
“It was like, ‘Ooh, what was that?’ Then it happened again. My first thought, of course, was: liver cancer, right?’
Paranoia: Ricky Gervais has shared how his recent illness gripped him with fears that he was suffering from liver and stomach cancer
Ricky hinted that he feared his daily drinking sessions had finally caught up with him, adding, “And in the middle of the night you’re convinced — that it is, I screwed up, you know?”
He continued, “I got another pain and it was, ‘Oh, oh God.’ And I felt sick. And I threw up and couldn’t. So I thought, “Oh, maybe it’s stomach cancer.”
“And then I couldn’t be sick — there was nothing there. Then the pain of the vomiting was incredible, there was an intensity.”
Ricky, who once said he’d been drunk every day since he was 18, added, “You forget how bad vomiting is — you forget how terribly awful it is.”
“I mean, regardless of the illness and the idea of dying – I can’t breathe. And I think I’m going to choke. And I think I won’t catch my breath between every cramp.
“The next day, when I coughed, my ribs — I thought, oh, I’ve torn my stomach lining here.”
“This is all happening in my head. That happened a few times, and I started sweating, and cold sweats. And I thought, “What is this?” Then I thought, “Ah – coronavirus.” I’ve had it before.
“I caught it from one of my nieces or great-nieces on a Christmas day. Everyone was sick. And again, that happened in the middle of the night, and I thought, ‘Oh, Jesus.’
Adding paranoia, Ricky then noticed that he had fallen victim to Salisbury-style poisoning.
He said, “That didn’t stop me from thinking at one point that it might have been radiation sickness.
Illness: The self-proclaimed comic strip hypochondriac, 61, said he was hit in the middle of the night by vomiting and diarrhea so severe he was also convinced he could be suffering from everything from radiation and cyanide poisoning to coronavirus
“I just thought, ‘Well, it could be – you never know”. Maybe one day someone followed me with a little plutonium.
Anyway, after a few hours I was pretty sure it was the coronavirus. So I tried to fight it then.
And then the other side started, which is really a relief. Because I prefer it to come out like this instead of my face, you know what I mean?
“Because diarrhea tells you, “Whatever, it’s not me, it just happens.” It’s like pulling the plug. I’d rather things turn out this way.
“I was still gagging too, and then nothing came out. Then there was brown stuff – and I was like, “Gal? Or am I throwing up from my anus?”
‘I know a little too much, but not enough. I knew cyanide poisoning causes reverse peristalsis, from the gut, so you’re throwing up your own shit. So I thought it was cyanide!’
Ricky continued, “But in general, give me diarrhea over vomiting. Not even throwing up – (it was) retching without the relief. F*****g hell. Has anyone talked about sick and st*t that much?
“It was one o’clock, two o’clock, three o’clock rock, and it’s both ends. I know a lot of people during the coronavirus told me they were sitting on the toilet and throwing up in the bath.
“Now, because I have some money, my bathtub is miles away from the toilet. So I couldn’t. So I had to spin around — I had to try to time it, saying, “Quick, sit down.”
“The old Roxy Music song Both Ends Burning comes to mind. I couldn’t even drink – even water made me sick. Water gave me the urge to vomit.
“What finally worked was I had a Lemsip and a Gaviscon. And it sort of worked, where I could lie down without wanting to be sick.
“When I moved, I wanted to be sick, but I could lie down. By 6am that morning it was all over. But I still couldn’t get up – I couldn’t eat.
“I think I got up and ate about half a banana for lunch. And I think I finally got up around 3am and it was all over. I still felt weak.’
Rick added, “I mean, I couldn’t have a beer until around 8 that night. Incredible. I don’t want to do that again, but you know it’s going to happen again.”
His account of his illness on Twitter ended with Ricky saying he thought he was “going to die.”
Terrible: His account of his illness on Twitter ended with Ricky saying he thought he was ‘going to die’
Good wishes: Responding to comments wishing him well, the comedian confirmed he thought he had contracted norovirus
He tweeted earlier this month: “I’m not feeling well today. In fact, I would say I just experienced the worst 8 hours of illness of my life.
“Severe stomach ache, vomiting every time I moved (but only little bits of bile), hot sweats and chills, oh, and I really want to know who planted the 12 gravy bombs in my anus.”
Fans immediately diagnosed him with a nasty norovirus that made the rounds as they wished him well.
Ricky later tweeted, “Update: I’m out of bed and I had a bath. Feel weak and annoyed that I wasted an entire day, but that’s a huge improvement over believing I was definitely going to die. Thank you for all your good wishes.’