The term “fetish” has taken on a very negative connotation, but according to a dating expert, having an offbeat arousal is actually much more common than many may realize.
A fetish is defined as a “form of sexual desire associated with a particular object, activity, or body part other than the genitals.”
Unfortunately, many people tend to hide their deepest bedroom fantasies from their partners out of fear or embarrassment, but recognized relationship therapist and author Jamie Bronstein urged DailyMail.com that keeping them a secret will only make things worse for your relationship in the long run.
The Los Angeles-based writer explained that fetishes are perfectly normal, despite having a reputation for being taboo or bizarre. . At least, if you approach the subject in the right way.
The term “fetish” has taken on very negative connotations, but according to a dating expert, having an offbeat arousal is actually much more common than many realize (stock image)
Accredited relationship therapist and author Jaime Bronstein shared five essential tips for telling your partner about a secret fetish you may have exclusive to DailyMail.com
Jaime went ahead and shared five essential tips for telling your partner about a secret fetish you might have — including how to start the conversation and what to do if your confession is met with criticism.
The love expert explained that it’s vital to talk about your arousals without fear — no matter how strange they may be — because if you seem nervous about them, it immediately makes it seem like they’re something to be ashamed of.
Instead, go into the conversation confidently and don’t forget to add some humor if things start to get tense.
According to dating coach Jaime, these are the best ways to tell your partner you have a strange sexual desire.
Communicate with confidence, because acting nervous seems like a bad thing
According to Jaime, the best way to let your partner know you have a fetish is to do it with confidence.
While she knows that being open about it puts you in a “vulnerable position,” she explained that appearing nervous during the conversation can make the fetish seem like a bad thing, so it’s important to “communicate without fear.” .
The dating expert explained that if you feel ready to open up about it, you have to trust that your partner won’t judge you.
“At the beginning of the conversation, say you’re going to share something you’ve been tired of and ask them to please not judge you and continue to love you unconditionally,” she recommended.
“If you’re going to share your fetish and put yourself in a vulnerable position, you have to trust that if your partner loves you, they won’t judge you.”
Use it as an opportunity to “mix things up” in the bedroom
Jaime, who wrote the book MAN* partiesexplained that sharing a fetish can be a great opportunity for couples to “mix things up” in the bedroom.
She suggested when you tell your partner, point it out that you can use it to spice up your romance — and you might be “pleasantly surprised by their reaction.”
The couples therapist added that your partner may even have their own secret sexual fantasy that they’ve been hiding.
“Start by expressing how much you love your partner and your relationship and that you thought it would be fun to mix it up in the bedroom, then share your fetish and see what they say,” she said.
You might be pleasantly surprised by their reaction. Then ask your partner if they have any fetishes. You may feel more connected and less alone [afterwards].’
Remind your partner that fetishes are much more normal than many realize
According to Jaime, fetishes are actually more common than many realize – so remind your partner that while it “might sound weird” at first, you’re probably not alone (stock image)
According to Jaime, fetishes are actually more normal than many realize — which is why it’s important to remind your partner that while it “might sound weird” at first, there are probably countless other people out there who have similar interests.
“Explain that while it may sound weird to your partner, it’s not just you who have this fetish,” she suggested.
“Ask that your partner still loves and respects you regardless of your fetish. And [point out] that you only told them because you trust them.’
Be lighthearted about it
Jaime pointed out that bringing “humor to any conversation” can reduce tension, so she suggested being “light-hearted” about it when you bring it up.
“Bringing humor into the conversation can lighten the situation,” she said.
“For example, you can share your fetish and then say, “Just kidding.” That’s how you plant the seed, laugh about it and show that you meant it.’
Don’t pressure your partner to participate in your fetish if they don’t feel comfortable
Last but not least, Jaime warned against putting pressure on your partner to participate in your fetish if they don’t feel comfortable.
While it’s important that they don’t make you feel bad about it, she explained that they don’t have to be interested in the same thing.
“Let your partner know that if they don’t want to appease you by participating in your fetish, that’s okay,” she told DailyMail.com readers.
“Explain that you wanted to at least share it with them so you wouldn’t feel like you had any secrets.
“Whether your partner joins in or not, you’ll be relieved to have shared what was on your mind, which is always a plus in a relationship.”