Dating coach dishes on his ‘five-stage’ relationship theory – so how does your romance compare?

You may have heard of the honeymoon period in a relationship, but did you know that there are four other stages — and they can take years to get through.

According to a popular relationship expert, there are five stages of grief and five in a relationship.

Kevin Pasco, 31, from Vancouver, Canada, recently shared the details of these phases, warning, “Most people don’t even make it to phase three… let alone phase five.”

In a now-viral TikTok videohe outlines each era, starting with the honeymoon phase, which he says can last anywhere from six months to a year.

The relationship coach warned: ‘Most people don’t even make it to stage three… let alone stage five’

Kevin described the honeymoon phase as “rushed feelings of love, rose-colored glasses, bonding over similarities” between the new couple.

But next was the power struggle phase, where you start to notice the differences between yourself and your partner.

“You notice that all those similarities don’t seem so great anymore, because I see all the differences,” Kevin said.

The relationship coach said that this phase usually ends in two different ways.

“First, they remain in the power struggle phase, that is, the old couple still bickering and fighting,” he summed up.

“Otherwise people end up breaking up,” he said. ‘They say, ‘No, this is too much. I can’t love you because of your differences, I can’t do this with you anymore.’

Kevin said that in this situation, they ultimately go back to the honeymoon phase – except with someone else.

“They repeat this very toxic cycle of honeymoon, power struggles and breakups,” he explained.

The video was flooded with praise for Kevin’s theory, as one wrote: ‘I love your advice. Brings couple together, rather against each other’

The content creator said the way out of this is to move to phase three, which is adaptation and acceptance.

“Loving them for your differences, accepting them completely and seeing the beauty in them,” Kevin explained.

He added that the key is to be able to adapt.

“You create a new energy by using the preferences and differences between the two of you to create something completely new,” he further explained.

According to Kevin, most people don’t even make it to phase three.

“It is very difficult to do, yet all people are on this path – eventually you will understand,” he said.

The fourth stage is commitment, which takes place after you have accepted the person for who they are and committed to building a life together.

Finally, the fifth stage is unity – when you are fully aligned with your partner.

“It takes decades to get to stage five,” he said, citing psychologists and therapists among the professionals he spoke with.

Kevin emphasized that you had to go through all the stages ‘to’ reach the last one, which is the goal.

The relationship expert said it could take decades – if ever – to reach stage five of the theory. He is pictured here with his girlfriend

“You have to have years and years of experience and knowing the person to get to that point,” he continued. “So chances are if you’re wondering if you’re on phase five and you’ve only been together for a little over a minute, you’re probably not there yet.”

Kevin also revealed the key to moving from phase two to three, which is anchored in fully accepting your partner.

“You have to fully accept the person as he or she is and be okay with the fact that he or she will never change in the future,” he said. “It takes years and years.”

The video was flooded with praise for Kevin’s theory, as one wrote: ‘I love your advice. Brings couples together sooner.’

Another added: ‘This is really insightful. Nothing but facts. You’re right when you say you won’t get past phase three.’

And a third simply said: ‘This makes so much sense.’