I’m not throwing a birthday party for my three-year-old – and I think any parents throwing them for kids under seven are selfish
- Vader claims there’s “no point” in hosting a toddler’s birthday party
- He says it’s a ‘selfish’ act as the child ‘won’t remember’ the party
A father has been criticized for saying it is “selfish” and “pointless” for parents to throw birthday parties for their young children who “don’t remember” the party.
The father, from the US, said his partner wanted to throw a big party for their son’s birthday but was against it.
In previous years, he convinced her to organize only a small gathering with close family and friends.
Post on Reddit, asked the father ‘am I the bastard?’ because he didn’t want to organize a birthday party for his son.
“My girlfriend loved to throw parties and when [our son] When he reached his first birthday, she wanted to throw a big birthday party, but I managed to convince her to shrink to just us, our parents and siblings. Little man was still too young,” the man wrote.
A father from the US said his partner wanted to throw a big party for their son’s birthday, but he was against it (stock image)
The next year she talked again about her plans to throw a big party for our two-year-old, but I told her it would be close family, a cake and a Happy Birthday song.
“This year she told me about her plans and again I told her to just do something small. But this time she was frustrated and told me to let her do something bigger for our son for once.”
The father went on to say that it’s “ridiculous to throw big parties for toddlers” because they “won’t remember anything.”
He said he can’t remember his second birthday when his parents threw him a Toy Story themed party.
“She said it doesn’t matter because there will be a lot of people taking pictures and he can just see them when he gets older,” the father continued.
“She still doesn’t understand my position. It’s not like he’ll never have a birthday party. We just have to wait until he’s six or seven, you know, when he can remember.’
The conversation infuriated his girlfriend and she started planning a party anyway.
The man’s own mother also accused him of depriving his son of a childhood.
“My mom says I should just do what my girlfriend says because Dad’s word isn’t that important and I need to know my place as a dad. I feel like this is driving me crazy. Am I the bastard?’ he said.
He later said that birthday parties for babies and young children are “an excuse for adults to throw a party at the expense of the toddler who won’t remember.”
Hundreds flooded the comments with responses berating the father.
One Redditor drew more than 4,700 likes with their comment.
“So you shouldn’t do anything fun with your kids until they’re old enough to remember?” Why are you taking them to the park? Why read those books? Why watch movies with them? Why do anything fun at all until they can have a memory of it? Do you see how stupid that sounds?’ the person asked.
Another commented, “Why is it always your way and never hers?” But on a bigger issue, you really need to examine why you think your child’s experiences don’t matter unless he can remember them. He still experiences those moments.’
“You got your way for two years — if she enjoys planning events like this, don’t take that away from her. One day you may regret not having those adorable photos to share,” said a third.
Another wrote: ‘How we treat our children shapes them now. We show them love, hugs, play with them, also discipline them and show boundaries and we should celebrate that.”
“My daughter loved her third birthday party. I don’t know if she’ll remember it or not, but I know it made her happy and special, and why shouldn’t she?!’ a mother wrote.