Everton supporters are used to keeping a calculator handy.
In a season full of points deductions and financial irregularities, it’s come in handy, and at Stamford Bridge it helped them keep score when Cole Palmer left their defense in tatters and the goal difference was badly damaged.
Rampant Palmer scored four, the first three before half an hour had elapsed and the fourth to make it 5-0 from the penalty spot and reach 20 goals in the Premier League. He has scored eleven goals in his last five home games.
For Chelsea, victory made it five on five on Monday night this season, but could not complete the occasion without further embarrassment as players bickered over who should take the penalty.
Noni Madueke won the award, although the award was questionable as James Tarkowski appeared to win the ball and he wanted to take it. This also applied to Nicolas Jackson, who had scored the fourth of the evening just before half-time.
Cole Palmer moved into joint top of the Premier League goalscoring charts as Chelsea breezed past Everton on Monday
The 21-year-old had scored a perfect hat-trick inside half an hour at Stamford Bridge, before adding a fourth from twelve yards
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Palmer then stepped forward and collected the ball, supported by captain Conor Gallagher.
The home crowd booed when Jackson refused to withdraw quietly. Even after Palmer beat Jordan Pickford from the spot, the striker had to be reminded by Madueke to go and congratulate the goalscorer. Something he did reluctantly.
Otherwise it was a wonderful evening for Mauricio Pochettino, highlighted by a popular sixth from Alfie Gilchrist as his team closed in on the European places, with a game in hand against seventh-placed Manchester United and solid home form.
The Chelsea boss may also have stumbled upon his best attacking balance, although few will be as accommodating as Everton in their first outing since their second points penalty of the season, and for whom injury was further insulted when Jarrad Branthwaite and Nathan Patterson both left . injured.
They face relegation rivals Nottingham Forest on Sunday and this hammering means both sides go into the match at Goodison Park with the same goal difference. Sean Dyche has six days to restore their battered self-confidence and their battered bodies.
Chelsea took no time to settle into their own brand of fast-paced chaos. They were a blur of royal blue. Fast and threatening, always looking for the attack. Although rarely with much calmness. Unless they could get Palmer on the ball in advanced areas, around the edge of Everton’s penalty area.
The talisman combined with Nicolas Jackson before producing a sublime finish to put his side ahead after 13 minutes
The hosts dominated the game early on and just minutes after putting Chelsea ahead, Palmer nodded within a second
A disastrous mistake from Jordan Pickford allowed Palmer to add a third goal thanks to the England goalkeeper’s misplaced pass
With Dominic Calvert-Lewin out injured, his substitute Beto managed to put the ball in the net, but was ruled out for offside
Nicolas Jackson then scored a fourth for the Blues and piled the misery on Sean Dyche’s struggling side before half-time.
On the other hand, they performed with a knife, determined to dish it out deep within their own twenty-foot box, rarely with much certainty. There were early mistakes in possession. Malo Gusto carelessly kicked one out for a corner and Beto let the first chance of the match slip off his shin.
It wasn’t an easy opportunity, but it was tempting to wonder if things would have been different if he had fallen for it.
Once Chelsea took the lead, they never looked back. Palmer started the move and finished it for the opening goal. First a brutal nutmeg, through the legs of Branthwaite, then a link with Jackson, who provided the return pass.
Palmer effortlessly beat Jordan Pickford from the edge of the penalty area with his left foot and almost scored again within a few minutes as he failed to convert a Madueke cross into an open goal with his thigh. Instead, it bounced behind him.
The miss looked less costly as he extended the lead with his second of the evening. This time he was alert and saw the opportunity when Pickford parried Jackson’s shot and turned on goal after a penetrating run down the left from Mykhailo Mudryk.
The score was 2-0 and Everton’s promising start seemed a long time ago. Palmer started going through his party pieces. A no-look volley followed in midfield. Perhaps that was the flash of skill that caused James Garner’s reduction, which earned him a yellow card.
However, Chelsea’s playmaker looked unshakable and picked himself up to complete his hat-trick. Once again, with another wonderful example of his intelligence and appreciation for all the moving parts of a football game.
It was Pickford’s mistake on the ball and a gift. The Everton goalkeeper collected a pass from Branthwaite and attempted to direct a pass through the center of the field to Amadou Onana. Palmer read it, calmly walked across and fired the ball back over Pickford and into an open goal from 35 yards.
This one with his right foot, matching the left footer and header. It was a perfect hat-trick within sixteen perfect minutes for Pochettino, who had to make do without Enzo Fernandez and Raheem Sterling, among others, and could not have hoped for a more extensive first half.
Everton responded with a flurry. There were opportunities. Beto, leaping in his salmon-colored shirt, found the net but had been caught offside and the flag went up without hesitation. Another ball flashed dangerously across the Chelsea goal. The home team was certainly not safe at the back, but was not nearly as vulnerable as the visitors, who were four behind at halftime.
There was disagreement among the ranks after referee Paul Tierney pointed to the spot following a foul on Palmer
Blues captain Conor Gallagher stepped in to restore order and Palmer stepped up to maintain his perfect record from the spot
Academy graduate Alfie Gilchrist scored his first goal for the club after coming off the bench to complete the rout
Jackson scored the fourth, receiving a cross from Marc Cucurella with a fantastic touch as he arrived just behind him, then spinning to finish with his second touch.
Dyche made three substitutions at half-time and Everton returned in a positive mood, but that didn’t last long.
Palmer should have increased the lead when he was released by Mudryk. Pickford saved with his feet. Then came the penalty and the pathetic bickering. Followed by a standing ovation for Palmer’s first goal and Gilchrist with four goals in his young career.