My husband asked me to have a threesome with his male best friend – now I’m questioning his sexuality

A woman has admitted she is questioning her husband’s sexuality after he asked her to have a threesome with his best friend.

Towards the British Parenting Platform MothernetThe woman explained that although her partner of 17 years was “in touch with his feminine side,” “it never occurred to me that he was gay.”

She said her husband had asked her if she would like to have a threesome with him and his friend, who was also the couple’s best man at their wedding.

The woman explained that her partner and his buddy have been friends since school, but that they have become closer recently and she fears that the relationship has ‘changed’.

Many people came to her aid in the comments and gave her advice, with some telling her to “get out of the marriage.”

The post read: ‘I have been with DH (dear husband) for 17 years now, married for eight of those. We have two children together, DS (dear son) and DD (dear daughter), and have built a beautiful family together.

‘I’ve never doubted DH’s sexuality, apart from comments from my friends about some of DH’s slightly feminine qualities.

‘Although he is in touch with his feminine side, he is an electrician and always likes to have a pint with his mates in the local pub, so it never occurred to me that he is gay.

‘He’s always had a close bond with his best friend, but lately I feel like things have changed…

‘He and Paul* have been best friends since school and Paul was best man at our wedding. Paul and I get along well, but we’re not really close because I have my own friends.’

She explained that she had no personal connection with her partner’s friend, but that her husband approached her with the idea of ​​a “potential threesome.”

She continued, “Now that we’ve been together for so long, I can say that things aren’t as exciting as they used to be in the bedroom for DH and I. So I understand wanting to spice things up a bit now that the kids are older.

‘DH gave little explanation of where the idea came from, but seemed enthusiastic and assured me it would be fun for all three of us.

‘This has made me question DH’s sexuality as Paul himself has never shown much interest in me other than pleasantries, which makes me wonder if this was DH’s idea and I’m not sure what that would mean. DH and Paul have always been very close and trusting but I am now beginning to question the nature of their relationship. Any advice would be appreciated.’

Some suggested that her partner may have cheated on her, while others said it was certainly possible that he was homosexual.

Someone said, ‘I don’t think, and this is just my opinion… I don’t understand how someone can love another person, but also want to have sex with someone else and watch them do the same thing.

“I can’t imagine ever doing it. If my husband suggested a threesome, I would assume he was cheating or having an affair. I would leave the marriage.”

Another said: ‘I would wonder how the subject came up between your DH and Paul. They’ve clearly had the conversation already.

“I don’t think they would be willing to risk their friendship by having sex and potentially ruining your marriage just to experiment if there wasn’t already a strong attraction.

I bet they’ve had sex with each other, or at least explored things, maybe even years ago.

“If you agree to the threesome, they can go ahead and explore with your ‘permission’. And lo and behold, your husband has discovered that all sorts of new feelings have arisen. He has done a lot of searching within himself and he and Paul are very surprised when they discover that they have feelings for each other. And actually, honey, I might be gay and you have helped me see that.”

Meanwhile, others insisted she shouldn’t have worried about her husband’s suggestion. One person said: ‘Of course he’s not gay. He just wants a threesome and has decided his partner is probably the best person to do it with.

‘Guarantee that even if you said yes it wouldn’t happen, they probably just got drunk in the pub one night and thought it was a great idea. Just say no if it’s not for you and move on with your day.’

Another said: ‘Wanting a threesome doesn’t make you gay. Wanting to expand your sex life after 17 is a very common and easy way to keep things exciting in the bedroom. Wanting a threesome is a very common fantasy.

‘Wanting to fantasize, then explore, your first threesome with your best friend is not that unusual. 3 people I know have drunkenly said “if I ever do it, it’s with my best friend”. One of those people also did it with her best friend.

‘He may not have even considered that things like sex toys, new positions, role playing, dirty talk, erotic fiction, etc. are a great way to spice things up. Some guys just seem to default to “get another person involved, that’ll do it” without even thinking about the long-term implications of what that means.’

Meanwhile, another said: ‘I don’t get the connection between wanting a threesome and your DH being gay. A threesome might not involve physical contact between your DH and his boyfriend (tmi to describe).’

A fourth said: ‘A lot of heterosexual men get turned on by fantasies about ‘sharing’ their wife with another guy. That doesn’t mean he’s gay.’

*Name has been changed