If you’re like me, you would have pored over the photos of Queen Mary on Balmoral Beach last week, looking for the familiar and oh-so-recognizable signs of a woman scorned: self-pity, sadness, shame.
After all, the photos were taken nearly a year since her “Romeo” husband, King Frederick, was caught enjoying a fun night out in Madrid with Mexican socialite Genoveva Casanova, throwing the Danish royal family into crisis and sparking feverish speculation in the press emerged. about the state of the couple’s marriage.
And yet I saw no sign of heartbreak as Mary romped on the beach with her friends. All I saw was a 52 year old woman who looked damn sensational: sporty, fit, muscular and loudly laughing.
The Tassie girl seemed genuinely happy to be back on sunny Australian soil – and we were only too happy to have her home.
It’s a lesson for all of us, ladies: forget that revenge is a dish best served cold. Revenge is a dish best served in a sophisticated, flattering swimsuit, looking as good as you’ve ever looked, as you bask on one of our best beaches, under our matchless blue sky.
If you’ve reached Mary’s age and haven’t experienced any form of cheating, cheating, hurt or disappointment thanks to your husband – whether it’s an affair, a one night stand, emotional cheating or, in Fred’s case, in anything -a late evening walk with a socialite advised that resulted in a gossip frenzy -then your marriage is going quite well.
Marriage is hard work, and I salute those who stick with it. It’s not for me, but that’s a topic for another day.
It’s been 12 months since Fred and Genoveva were caught walking through Buen Retiro Park. The rumor mill exploded: was this Mexican temptress Fred’s secret lover? Fred, Genoveva and the palace denied it – and I’m not suggesting an affair took place. But what I am quite certain of – call it women’s intuition – is that seeing those photos of the King with a beautiful divorcee like Genoveva would have shocked the loyal, dutiful Queen to her core.
Queen Mary of Denmark showed off her slim physique at Sydney’s Balmoral Beach last Thursday during an unannounced return to her home country
The world gasped, especially us Aussies. How could Fred, a man who has spent his entire life in the spotlight, have been so careless? He must have known what his friendship with Genoveva would have been like. Meanwhile, we all assumed the worst and waited with bated breath to see what our beloved Mary would do next.
Part of me expected her to arrive at Sydney airport in tears the next day, welcomed by the open arms of her fellow countrymen..
But Maria had other plans.
She wasn’t going anywhere. Mary did what millions of women around the world do after being embarrassed by their husbands: she stayed.
Strong women don’t play the victim. They rarely indulge in self-pity. They keep their heads up, stay calm (at least in public) and carry on.
They may cry to their friends and sob in the shower. They may be throwing vases, yelling and screaming behind closed doors.
But they stay. Just like Queen Mary.
Stoic. Strong. Powerful.
Queen Mary reminds me of Princess Diana when Charles admitted his affair with Camilla Parker-Bowles. She picked herself up, dusted herself off and wowed the world in that ‘revenge dress’ – a low-cut black evening gown by Christina Stambolian – while attending a Vanity Fair fundraiser at the Serpentine Gallery in London. She showed the world that she was a survivor, and that she would not let her husband’s adultery bring her down.
Queen Mary’s flattering pink Copenhagen Cartel one-piece reminds me of Princess Diana in her ‘revenge dress’ (pictured) after Charles admitted his affair with Camilla Parker-Bowles
Don’t get me wrong: the situations here are not identical. Charles admitted his affair; Frederik made it clear that there was nothing unusual going on. But when I saw Mary in her flattering hot pink Copenhagen Cartel swimsuit (which costs $247, by the way), all I could think was: This is Mary’s revenge swimsuit.
Then I had another thought: from now on, if anyone wears the trousers in the Danish Royal Palace, it will be our Mary.
Remember those royal engagements that followed Fred and Genoveva’s tabloid scandal? The icy stares, the pompous body language – all signs that women recognize: I’m with you, but not the way we used to be. I have forgiven you, but I will not forget.
Fred knows he has some work to do, and he doesn’t want to lose Mary.
Remember those royal engagements that followed Fred and Genoveva’s tabloid scandal? The icy stares, the pompous body language – all signs that women recognize: I’m with you, but not the way we used to be. I have forgiven you, but I will not forget
Queen Mary’s visit to Australia comes 12 months after rumors emerged that her husband King Frederick, 56, had an ‘affair’ with Mexican socialite Genoveva Casanova (right)
I’m not sure the royal couple has gotten past the embarrassment of Fred’s ill-advised friendship with Genoveva. Those of us who have experienced marital crises will know that once initial trust is broken, things are rarely the same.
But in my experience, one thing is crystal clear: women rarely leave in situations like this. The man’s mistake—whether it’s a moment of poor judgment, as in Fred’s case, or a full-blown extramarital affair—only makes them stronger.
Therefore, what I am about to say is not directed at women, but at the ‘other woman’: if you find yourself involved with a married man, remember: he is will never leave his marriage, and she will never leave him. She may punish him forever, but she will stay – even if it’s just to spite you, to show that she has ‘won’.
And if you’re the woman in this situation, chances are you’ve already decided to give him another chance… but my advice? Now pack your bags.
The old saying is true: once a cheater, most likely always a cheater. Fred’s “affair” scandal may have been a false alarm, but other men caught in the act don’t change their behavior.
Maybe you “won” by keeping your marriage alive, but what exactly to have you won? A cheater who doesn’t respect you. It’s hardly winning the lottery, right?
And believe me, I’ve seen it enough times. Men wait until the coast is clear before going back to their old ways. They just can’t help themselves. Many do not want to address the underlying reasons behind their cheating; whether it concerns addiction, trauma, grief or stress. Quick fixes like cases don’t work.
I’ve seen too many strong, beautiful, successful and smart women give away their lives and freedom to low-level men who don’t appreciate them and chase everything in a skirt once their backs are turned. It saddens me enormously.
Mary, it’s good to see you looking so happy in Australia without your husband by your side. It’s great to know that you’re moving on with your life – and I hope he’ll be more careful with his friendships in the future.
I tip my hat to you for holding on to your marriage. If it had been my husband in those photos in Madrid, regardless of the innocent explanation, I don’t think I would have been able to stay.