Psychologists say having the same ‘touch language’ is key to a happy marriage – take the test to learn yours

If you’ve been on TikTok recently, you’ve probably heard of love languages.

It’s a popular term among social media’s favorite couple counselors and relies on the idea that each person has an ideal way to communicate his or her love.

These expressions broadly fall into five different categories, ranging from verbal affirmations to gifts.

But there may be even more languages ​​that you and your partner can learn, says social psychologist Sara Nasserzadeh.

In her new book, entitled ‘Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of love’, she sets out the framework for a so-called ‘touch lexicon’.

This essentially means that different types of intimate touch between partners can act as different lines of communication.

For example, for one couple, a hand squeeze can be a sign of affection. But for someone else, it may be the acknowledgment of hurt feelings.

For some, a gentle kiss can be a meaningless greeting when you get home from work, but for others it can be a sign of sexual desire.

Likewise, one partner may associate certain behaviors, such as kissing the other’s forehead or rubbing the other’s back, with unhappy childhood memories.

While this may seem intuitive, Nasserzadeh says it’s important to identify what your partner feels with these different types of touches so you can build a mutual vocabulary.

Then you can start touching or speaking in the same language.

This concept is based on the widely accepted view that physical communication plays a key role in the health of most relationships. A recent international study has shown the importance of physical touch in nurturing love in a relationship.

A psychologist has revealed exactly how to discover the touch language you share with your partner

Relationships with varied and frequent touch had stronger feelings of love across all cultures they tested, according to the paper, published in the magazine Scientific Reportssaid.

Nasserzadeh, who also works as a relationship counselor according to her website, said in her book that touches are “powerful connectors and reminders of the unique erotic potential in your relationship.”

But just knowing this concept doesn’t make you a real translator.

To find out what works for you and your special someone, she recommended that you and your partner take part in a little test.

In an excerpt from her book, which was published on the wellness website GoshNasserzadeh recommended taking time alone with your partner to do an exercise.

Each partner should touch the other in different ways, for example on the arm, or on the lips, or on different parts of the body, and with different intensities, taking turns. After the touch, the recipient must explain how it felt to him.

During the exercise, ask yourself and your partner seven important questions (below) and make a mental note of the answers.

This information can guide you both when it comes to touching each other in different ways; you know what kind of touch will be useful in specific situations.