Most people have used an opening line to introduce themselves to a stranger, only to find it fell flat.
Psychologists have now developed an approach that they claim is always effective.
While people often choose to use humor or subtle comments when talking to a stranger, several studies have shown that being direct is the best strategy.
This option could downright mean, “You’re really cute, can I buy you a drink?”
There are three types of opening lines you can use when approaching someone in a coffee shop, bar, bookstore, or other social setting: direct, subtle, and comedic. A 2020 study found that people are more drawn to a direct approach because they can easily understand which one will spark the first spark faster than the comedic lines, which were the least popular of the three
Opening lines can help you start a conversation with someone you like. They can also help you share your personality and attractive features.
The flowing lines have also become more popular in the age of online dating, as people have one chance to impress and that happens through messaging.
While many people lay it all out on the table during that recording, some hide their by taking a humorous approach. However, experts have found that this approach makes people appear unintelligent or untrustworthy.
1. The type of opening line
Researchers have determined that there are three types of opening lines people use to get another person’s attention: direct, subtle, and comedic.
However, directness proved to be the most successful.
This is because this approach suggests that the person is honest in sharing his thoughts, feelings and intentions with others.
Inviting them to have a cup of coffee or saying you want to get to know them shows that you are more interested in finding a partner than other alternatives, such as humor or subtle conversation starters.
The more subtle option can be used to start a conversation if you are not yet ready to tell the person that you are looking for a romantic relationship.
For example, this opening line could be about noticing something the person is doing. For example, if you are sitting in a coffee shop and see the person reading a book, you could ask them what they think of the book so far.
Still, some people stick to the more lighthearted approach by making a lame comment like, “Have we met? Because you look like my next girlfriend” or “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
Of the three possible ways to initiate a connection with a complete stranger, researchers say being direct is the best option.
“Both men and women perceive direct line users as the most likeable and responsible people, as well as the least selfish,” researchers from Saint Mary’s University explained in a 2020 study. study.
The study also found that people are more attracted to people whose motives THEY [we] are easy to understand, which is quicker to spark a spark than the comic lines – the least popular of the three.
“The theory is that the innocent and lighthearted sentences should protect the user from rejection, as they can disguise a failed attempt as a simple question or a joke,” the researchers wrote.
A 2021 study found that women looked at men’s positive qualities, such as their kindness, intelligence, how trustworthy they seemed, and how friendly they were, as a determining factor for long-term relationships. Using flippant phrases when approaching someone “showed less trustworthiness and intelligence,” researchers wrote in a study
2. The type of connection you are looking for
The most effective opening lines depend on the type of connection the person you’re talking to is looking for: whether he or she is looking for a short-term or long-term relationship.
People looking for a long-term, committed relationship are still attracted to the direct approach because it shows that they are serious about getting to know the person.
Using a flippant phrase “was associated with lower trustworthiness and intelligence,” researchers from the State University of New York wrote in a separate report. study.
However, the team found that the type of opening line doesn’t matter to people looking for a short-term relationship. They say that in those cases, it’s how attractive the person is that matters, not the opening line.
3. The type of personality you are trying to show
Pick-up lines can reveal more about your personality than just their direct or indirect nature. For example, they show how sincere, creative, humorous and, above all, confident you are.
A 2021 study found that opening lines identify a person’s positive qualities, such as kindness, intelligence, trustworthiness, and friendliness, as determining factors for long-lasting relationships.
Although compliments and humorous comments were better received than a general “hello,” researchers reported that this was not successful because it did not reveal the person’s true personality.
People are generally attracted to those who exude confidence, making a direct approach the best option.