Psychologist reveals the most common phrases narcissists use to manipulate you

A clinical psychologist has exposed the most common phrases narcissists use to manipulate others, particularly when it comes to their relationships.

Perpetua Neo, from Singapore, claims that all narcissists they operate with similar methods, so the tactics they use to catch their targets are often identical.

“It’s like they read the same manual, even though no one gives them that manual,” he said. Well-informed person. They are almost programmed in the same way.

All people have narcissistic traits to some degree, but it is estimated that about one in 200 people in the United States have narcissistic personality disorder.

It is also important to note that there are significant gender differences when it comes to the prevalence of the condition.

Studies suggest that about 75 percent of diagnoses are among men, according to recent figures.

Perpetua, who works with victims of narcissistic abuse, has established the phrases that should set off alarm bells throughout the three main phases of an emotionally abusive relationship: the idealization stage, the devaluation stage, and the discard stage.

1. The idealization stage: Beware of ‘love bombing’ during the early stages

Love bombing is when someone showers their new partner with romantic gestures, artfully painting a picture of the beautiful future they intend to share, often when they’ve only known each other for weeks or even days.

Perpetua told the publication: “Anyone who tries to do it too fast early on is basically speeding up intimacy, and that’s bad news.”

“Anyone having to do that suggests they’re doing something a little creepy.”

She said that relationships with narcissists will progress very quickly.

Perpetua shared that these are the phrases that should set off alarm bells if spoken in the first few weeks of a new relationship:

• ‘You are my soulmate.’
• I’ve never met anyone like you before.
• You understand me much better than anyone.
• ‘It is fate that we meet.’
• I had never felt this way about anyone before.
• Am I your only friend? You are my only friend.
• We don’t need anyone else.
• You are so kind, creative, smart, beautiful and perfect.
• ‘We’ll be together forever.’

2. The Devaluation Stage: The narcissist’s true self will begin to emerge once their victim is hooked.

Those in relationships with narcissists should be prepared for the honeymoon period to be short-lived.

Insults and criticism will creep in soon, but they will seamlessly weave into the compliments to make the victim believe that the relationship is still worth maintaining.

The offending party still wants to keep their partner on the side, but will make moves to undermine them, and in doing so, lower their confidence and self-esteem.

As a result, this will eventually cause your partner to think that any wrongdoing is their fault.

The perpetrator will play to their advantage and take any opportunity to take advantage of their supposed superiority and subvert the other person, keeping them in a constant state of stress.

Red flag phrases during this time include, but are not limited to:

• ‘You’re crazy.’
• You are too sensitive.
• No wonder no one else likes you.
• My friends hate you, but I always defend you and watch your back.
• You are so insecure.
• ‘What’s wrong with you?’
• Am I not more important to you than your friends?
• Your tears won’t work on me. Why are you crying?’
• You are being so manipulative.

Another key sign will be that narcissists will try to devalue everything their victim likes, including their hobbies, interests, and even their friends.

But, if called upon during this phase, they will usually explain their behavior by deflecting and scapegoating a third party instead.

In these moments, they often paint themselves as victims, claiming that any adverse behavior is the result of how they were treated in the past by their parents or exes.

3. The discard stage: the offending party will probably get tired of wearing down their victim

It is during this final phase that a narcissist’s insults will be at their worst.

If they are preparing to end the relationship, they are likely to make a last minute move to come out of the emotional wreck as winners.

Some of the most impressive phrases in this instance will be:

• Everyone hates you.
• You are a bad person.
• No one else will ever love you.
• I’m the best you’ll ever have.
• Have fun being alone for the rest of your life.
• You did this to yourself.

Reflecting on this, Perpetua said that the only way to truly break free of a narcissist is to leave forever.

Otherwise, “they just keep you on your toes and you bend further back like a dancing monkey,” he said.

“And nothing will ever change, things will just get worse.”