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For those with social anxiety, it can often feel overwhelming – but one psychologist has revealed how to deal with the struggle.
Dr Carmen Harra, American author of Committed: Finding Love and Loyalty Through the Seven Archetypes, says, for instance, that there are ways to try and combat the feeling of being isolated when suffering from the condition.
She told FEMAIL that the tips include saying no to events you don’t feel comfortable attending to performing regular acts of kindness.
Dr Carmen added that forlorn feelings are signals from your inner self that something is wrong on a deeper level and that certain aspects of your life must change.
Here, Dr Carmen reveals five actions you can take today to break out of isolation and reunite with a supportive group…
For those with social anxiety, it can often feel overwhelming – but one psychologist has revealed how to deal with the struggle (stock photo)
DON’T ATTEND EVENTS JUST TO PLEASE OTHERS
Dr Carmen said: ‘Only go where you feel comfortable. Be selective about the invitations you accept, attending only events where you know your presence will be appreciated.
‘Take a moment to think about where you would feel best going and before leaving your house, don’t just check if you have your keys and wallet, check how you’re feeling: are you excited about this gathering and do you really want to go (not just to please others)?
‘If you find that the answers are no, remember that it’s okay to decline the invitation; forcing yourself to socialize will only exacerbate desolation.
‘Your mental and emotional wellbeing are more important than any temporary diversion.’
AVOID SURROINDING YOURSELF WITH NEGATIVE PEOPLE
‘Surround yourself with truly good people,’ insisted the psychologist. The problem is not always being alone, it’s feeling alone because you’re around the wrong people.
‘If a certain person – whether it’s a partner, friend, or family member – makes you feel uncomfortable, insecure, or undervalued, re-evaluate your relationship to him or her.
‘It may be time to put some space between you and seek someone who is as genuine and kind-hearted as you are.
‘Some red flags to watch out for are not reciprocating the same effort you put into the relationship and invalidating your emotions when you try to explain how you feel.
‘Relinquish the mentality of solitude and the fear that you’ll be hurt or disappointed; there are plenty of people who have pure intentions and can make you feel healed, whole, and loved.
‘Otherwise, if you remain in bad company, you’ll feel more alone than if you were by yourself.’
PERFORM ACTS OF KINDNESS
Dr Carmen said people should create a positive ripple in the world in order to avoid feeling lonely.
She explained: ‘Don’t hesitate to take an opportunity to do good.
‘Doing good will merge you with a community and allow you to thrive by cooperating with others towards a greater cause.
‘Performing acts of kindness increases feel-good hormones in your brain and creates a sense of reward that reminds you of just how much power you have to impact this world in positive ways.
‘It connects you to others more deeply and reinforces the common thread that runs throughout the human race: we’re all here to love and be loved.
‘One small deed, performed with compassion and with no expectation to receive in return, can forever change someone’s life while eradicating loneliness in your heart and mind.’
TAKE IT SLOWLY
‘We can feel pressured to go out and have fun, though we may not feel like it,’ said the psychologist.
‘If this thought intimidates you, limit your time with others and increase your interactions little by little. For example, if you’ve been invited to a gathering but don’t feel enthusiastic about it, plan on attending it for an hour then excusing yourself.
‘For the next event, you can stay a bit longer, and so on. Examine how you feel afterwards: did being around others help you feel less alone?
‘Gently increasing interactions will curb feelings of loneliness and slowly reintegrate you into a strong and vibrant social circle.’