I’m a Psychologist and so ‘relaxing’ by listening to true crime podcasts and TV shows is a huge red flag
- Dr. Thelma Tenni says “relaxing” to violent crime shows is a trauma response
- Wants people to realize that ‘boring’ is the normal ‘laid back’ setting
If you want to wind down at the end of the day by diving into Netflix’s latest serial killer series or listening to a true crime podcast, you may need some serious trauma therapy, experts argue.
Famous psychologist Dr. Thelma Tenni, who specializes in family, marriage, and sexual therapy says there’s nothing healthy about being “softened” by violence.
“If your idea of relaxing before bed is to watch three episodes of Law and Order, I would encourage you to think about ‘why is trauma relaxing for me?’ she urged her audience in a now-viral video.
She explained that people who like to relax to depictions of crime, damage, and assault do so because it’s “familiar.”
Famous psychologist Dr. Thelma Tenni, who specializes in family, marriage and sexual therapy, says there’s nothing healthy about being ‘softened’ by violence
Some of us grew up with a lot of stress, so people confuse peace with boring,” she said,
But she urges people to “lean into the discomfort” of “boring” so they can come home to themselves.
“Maybe it’s a good time to reprogram your nervous system. Peace may seem unknown and boring, but you are worth it,” she added.
The video has been viewed more than 150,000 times, with hundreds of people expressing dismay at the revelation.
One woman called the video a “powerful diversion” and thanked Dr Tenni for taking the time to explain it so clearly.
“As I began to heal, those shows I was obsessed with watching (I had watched them since childhood for over 20 years and knew every dated case) became not only less attractive, but also disturbing to me. To me they were definitely related,” one woman admitted.
At night I can’t sleep unless it’s on ID tv. I grew up in a very violent household. The blows still bring me to tears. How do I reprogram this unhealthy condition,” said another woman,
“Personally, I feel seen through a trauma. I feel less weird or broken. I find it easier to observe trauma in arts/entertainment in a way that is less personal or emotional and think about how it applies to my life than experiencing it,” a third agreed.
Others were shocked.
“My husband watches these programs to relax,” said one woman.
“Oh, you dragged us along. a necessary brake,’ said another.
Some people argued that the wind down had nothing to do with the trauma and more to do with the resolution.
“If your idea of relaxing before bed is to watch three episodes of Law and Order, I would encourage you to think about ‘why is trauma relaxing for me?’ she
“As someone who used to decompress into law and order SVU, I don’t think it was trauma that drove me, or even attracted me to it…. I believe it was justice,” one woman said.
“The reality was (for me at the time) Trauma was almost everywhere in my profession, but justice was rarely seen. So watching SVU was a way for my brain to see some form of justice in the area where justice is most needed.”
“I like it because it shows justice, at the end of the episode the person gets caught,” another agreed,
While a third said they’ve also learned to empathize with attackers — who “usually have their own things going on,” which she claims help her with her own trauma.
And few people beat the claims.
‘That’s nonsense. It’s a television show – we need to stop reading into everything.