Are you going through a breakup? Psychologist explains what to do if people try to minimise your pain

A psychologist has revealed how to cope with a breakup when others try to minimise your pain.

Dr Lalitaa Suglani is a Birmingham-based licensed psychologist and content creator with almost 160,000 followers on Instagram, where she shares videos and posts about mental health topics such as anxiety and burnout.

Dr. Suglani is also the author of High-Functioning Anxiety A 5-step Guide To Calming The Inner Panic and Thriving.

In a recent video On Instagram, the psychologist discussed breaking up relationships and how painful it can be.

The video, titled Losing the Love of your Life, was accompanied by a caption about how people around you can behave after you’ve gone through a breakup.

‘Are you going through a breakup?’ the caption asked. ‘Don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking “it’s not that deep” – breakups can be incredibly painful.

‘I have seen many people disappear into the darkness after a heartbreaking farewell.’

She concluded the caption with a piece of advice: “Be kind to yourself. Give yourself the time and space to heal.”

In the video, Dr. Suglani talks about the impact a breakup with your partner can have on your mental health: ‘It can be so overwhelming when your relationship ends.

“It’s like we have to rethink our whole life without that person. And this grieving process is difficult and it’s different for each of us.”

She then explained that the “hard truth” is that “not everyone will understand your grief.”

The psychologist continued: ‘People may tell you to get over it now, or to find a new hobby, but it’s not that easy. It’s important that we don’t lose compassion for ourselves.

In an earlier post on Instagram (stock image), Dr. Suglani outlined the seven emotional stages we go through after a loss or breakup.

‘You know how much you loved each other and how much you cared about them in that relationship, and it’s important that you have the space to process that. [the feelings]to learn and understand more about how you want to come across in the future.’

Dr. Suglaani’s video followed an earlier after She talked about the seven emotional stages we go through after a loss or a breakup.

She said that everyone will go through the seven different stages she outlined at different times.

Speaking more broadly about loss and rupture, she noted that no one can predict exactly how long it will take to build a life around the pain.

In a caption to her post, the psychologist wrote: “Everyone is different. Don’t compare yourself to someone else’s journey.”

She continued: ‘A breakup can be very difficult and stressful, and there is no set way to deal with it.

Often your emotions are overwhelmed by many things at once and you wonder if what you are feeling is normal.

‘You may even feel overwhelmed by emotions for a while, it is normal to feel this way. It is a whole process to ‘let go’ of someone you really loved or the reality you thought existed.

“Your mind has to adjust to a new way of living without this person in your life.”

Dr. Suglani listed the seven emotional stages we go through after a loss or breakup, starting with shock and denial.

The second point she made, which will undoubtedly strike a chord with anyone who has experienced a breakup, is the feeling of a “desperate need for answers.”

Third, she reported feeling anxious, lonely, and sad.

In fourth place came bargaining, and in fifth place came anger.

The sixth emotional stage that Dr. Suglani mentioned was peace and acceptance.

And finally, in seventh and last place, she mentioned forgiveness.

The psychologist concluded her lengthy caption by emphasizing that going through these different stages is not a linear process.

She wrote: ‘You can go on and off these stages and be in more than one at a time. Be kind to yourself during this time.

“You are shifting. It may take time. And just because you feel ready to forgive, that doesn’t mean something else won’t make you angry or sad again.

“It’s about having the tools to regulate and manage the emotions that may come up. You get to a point where you’re not looking at the relationship through rose-colored glasses anymore.”

Another important point the psychologist made in the post was that no matter how much you might want it, one person alone “cannot make a relationship work if [they] are the only ones who want it to work.

“Healthy relationships require commitment from both partners, and you can’t blame yourself for not being able to maintain a relationship on your own,” she concluded.