My patients often seek help in the darkest of times: job loss, medical illness and the loss of a loved one are just some of the challenges that can be extremely intimidating.
But what happens when several of these tragedies happen all at once, in one day, in one moment, unexpectedly and so tragically? This was the reality many faced in New York City on September 11, 2001.
As a young psychiatrist in training, I never imagined I would be working with survivors of such a catastrophic event.
Suddenly, I was an intern at a New York City hospital in charge of mental health care rescue, recovery and support workers, as well as grieving families and everyday New Yorkers, like all of usI struggled to make sense of life after the largest terrorist attack on American soil.
Dr. Sue Varma directs the World Trade Center Mental Health Program at NYU Langone
Dr. Varma’s training could never have prepared her to work with the survivors of September 11
Through her work with first responders and survivors of the 9/11 terrorist attack, Dr. Varma some of the most essential tools a person can have in the face of trauma and adversity.
A few years later, I was selected as the first medical director of the World Trade Center Mental Health Program (WTC MHP), part of what is now NYU Langone Medical Center, one of seven centers in the US that opened in the aftermath of the tragedy have been established. to provide ongoing screening, treatment and support to WTC responders.
Little did I know that this experience would sow the seeds for what would become my philosophy when it comes to dealing with life’s challenges: something I like to call practical optimism.
I found that optimism played a crucial role in building the resilience I saw in many of the patients I encountered.
Initially, I thought optimism was something you were either born with or not. Over time, however, I realized that while genetics played a role, the rest was up to us.
I wanted to learn and teach skills that can help people recover from setbacks and thrive.
And from the many wonderful people I met in the aftermath of September 11, I learned some of the most essential tools a person can have when facing trauma and adversity – and through this guidance I live my own life .
Here are the five strategies I practice every day that help me keep going even in the worst of times.
Optimism plays a crucial role in building resilience, and while genetics play a role, the rest is up to us
Altruism, giving back to the community, and helping others can shift our focus from inner rumination to outer connection
FIND A LIGHT SIDE (EVEN WHEN IT’S REALLY HARD)
Even in the midst of tragedy, our perspective is a choice. Tragic events often expose us to the depths of depravity and the heights of humanity. Which aspect we focus on will determine our outlook on life.
If I can’t change a situation that upsets me, I try to find a way to change my attitude toward it. This shift in perspective allows me to reframe what would have been different an unpleasant situation for me and make it a more bearable situatione (and perhaps even pleasant!) experience.
Try to see things from someone else’s perspective, or look for a positive conclusion: a ray of hope, a lesson learned, a bullet dodged, a crisis averted.
HELP OTHERS…AND SHARE YOUR PAIN
If we change ‘I’ into ‘we’, even illness becomes well-being. Altruism, giving back to the community, and helping others can shift our focus from inner rumination to outer connection. Even small gestures of kindness can have a significant impact on your own mental and physical health.
Turn your pain into purpose by sharing your insights with others. I know people whose extreme life experiences required them to deal with loss, trauma and hardship – and sharing what they learned became an important part of their own healing journey.
We also know that altruism can be therapeutic for people who have experienced severe stress. Several of my patients have expressed interest in the field of grief counseling, rehabilitation and therapy – from helping others with physical injuries to substance use disorders – as a result of their own experiences, losses, trials and triumphs.
DO NOT HOLD ANYTHING UP
It takes more mental resources to suppress emotions than to express them. Unexpressed emotions often manifest as physical symptoms. Journaling to express emotions, worries, fears, and concerns can be liberating and therapeutic.
VOLUNTEERS FOR A SENSE OF PURPOSE
In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl explains about what he learned as a survivor of Auschwitz concentration camps: ‘Woe for him who no longer saw any meaning in his life, no purpose, no purpose in bearing it on. He was soon lost.’
And from a study published in The Lancet, participants who expressed a sense of meaning and purpose were 30 percent less likely to die during the average follow-up period of eight and a half years than that with the least well-being
So it’s clear that developing a sense of meaning in life can protect us from stress and help us cope in difficult times. Even small acts of volunteering or helping others can create a sense of self-worth and purpose.
Even small acts of volunteering or helping others can create a sense of self-worth and purpose
It can be as subtle as parents volunteering at their child’s school as a way to be more involved in their child’s life, plus adding a night out after the meetings.
I’ve seen this combination of purpose and fun take the form of a fundraising practice session followed by a communal dinner. Or someone whose work takes up their nights and weekends decides to reclaim their time and give back by volunteering in a community garden on Saturdays.
The effort doesn’t have to be great. Many of my patients in the WTC Mental Health Program simply accompanied others to their medical appointments. Their presence was the greatest gift to their fellow human beings.
NEVER SUFFER IN SILENCE
Don’t suffer in silence. Ask for support if necessary. Resources such as the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (988) are available for those who need them.
Dr. Sue Varma is a board-certified psychiatrist and author of Practical optimism: The art, science and practice of exceptional well-being. You can keep in touch with her (IG, Twitter, FB @doctorsuevarma)