People only like Epcot for the booze
Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida consists of four distinct parks: Magic Kingdom, the quintessential Disney park complete with castle; Hollywood Studios, home to Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge, among other non-Disney attractions; Animal Kingdom, a combination nature preserve and theme park; and Epcot, the edutainment land of Walt Disney’s wildest dreams.
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They all have their defenders, but despite what superfans making emotional TikToks about visiting the park might have you believe, Epcot is rarely worth it. In fact, I would argue that the reason people choose to go has little to do with the magic. It just has the biggest drinking culture.
I don’t hate Epcot. But I’ve never understood the appeal of World Showcase, the area with several pavilions themed after foreign lands, like Mexico, Germany and Japan. The most hardcore Epcot fans swear by the transportive quality of the park, that chance to visit places they might never get to in their lifetime.
Yeah, fine, but it’s also a place on Disney property where you can get a hefeweizen for $16.
I went to college in the great state of Florida and I know how often people make huge pilgrimages to Epcot when they turn 21. There is a whole game people play about drinking around the world where they order a new alcoholic drink from every country. Disney adults I know love Epcot and often say it is the best part of their Disney trip.
I know why: the drinks. Without them, Epcot is kind of boring. I do love the classic old edutainment attractions like Spaceship Earth and Living With the Land in all their frozen mid-noughties glory, but that’s more of a nostalgia kick than anything. Let’s be realistic about the Epcot experience beyond the drinks: the newer attractions have lines that are way too long to justify waiting in them. And the area with the loudest fanbase, World Showcase, is actually incredibly boring, if you’re not downing a new drink every 15 minutes. Otherwise, you’re just wandering around and checking out mini versions of real locations.
I admit that some festivals that focus on World Showcase, such as the annual Food and Wine festival in early fall, Are nice, especially because they offer something that not alcohol. (I still think of the mini Belgian waffle with berry compote I once visited… mmmm.) But if there is no pop-up element, you are just wandering around in replicas of real places that are at best kitschy and at worst tokenizing. There are shops where you can buy souvenirs that somewhat resemble the cultural heritage of the “country” you are in, such as a fancy beer mug in Germany or a Hunter x Hunter mug in Japan (I gave in and got this). But for some reason there is not a single piece Mulan Merchandise in the Chinese pavilion? That’s about it. Other than one or two rides and some very dated videos, there’s not much else to do. But each country has a special drink! Wowza!
I’ve been around the Disney theme park crowd long enough to pick up on a level of enthusiasm for Epcot that the other parks don’t quite have. People get super passionate about keeping Epcot exactly the way it was when they had the fondest memories of it. I’ll admit it’s a vibe rather than a stat-based analysis, but compared to other Disney parks (even the original Magic Kingdom), Epcot inspires a particular defensiveness. Maybe it’s because at some point used to be the boring edutainment park. At least that’s the reputation it had when I was a kid! Although adults always insisted that “it’s actually fun.” Now I know it’s the booze.
Look, I love a good little cocktail as much as the next guy. If a bar has a themed drink menu, I’m all for waving over a bartender and ordering a Super Monkey Punch (an actual drink I recently ordered at a gamer-themed bar). But in the hot Florida sun? While walking around and getting on intense rides like Mission: Space and Test Trek? Literally Why Would you do that to yourself? Go wander around The Seas with Nemo and his friends and look at the cool fish instead.
There are even places in Disney where it’s more fun to drink. You can buy alcohol in all four parks at Disney World, although in Magic Kingdom it’s only at table service restaurants which fill up quickly. But then again, Why Would you get drunk on a hot day at an amusement park when you could go to one of the hotels instead? Trader Sam’s, a very cool cocktail bar at the Polynesian resort, has special effects And is air conditioned. There are a lot of places in Disney Springs! Getting completely wasted when it’s 90 degrees, humid and sunny is just not recommended; for 120 minute waits you need to hydrate.
I love myself too much to do that. I’ll take my little cocktails in the comfort of a hotel bar, thank you. And I’ll experience the epic heights of Space Mountain without to be tipsy.