Confession: I’ve become a fan of putting it on outside the bedroom. I discovered this recently after a very raunchy night on top of a mailbox. But let me start at the beginning…
It’s no secret that my Monday night Instagram is home to absolute debauchery.
I’m hosting a ‘Tell me a saucy secret’ confessional where very naughty (but actually very sane and normal) followers forward their sexy confessions anonymously (thanks so brilliant app that removes all identification).
I choose a photo that goes with the cheeky secret before reposting it and it’s A LOT of fun.
This week I got two entries that both confessed to similar things: They got frisky outside the bedroom.
John Hocking [pictured] was surprised that two fans confess to being outside the bedroom to her
Confession 1 said, “I was feeling very playful in the back of a cab one night, so I straddled my husband and started having sex with him. The taxi driver didn’t say anything while we were busy, I think he enjoyed it too.’
Confession 2 said, “I work in a beauty salon. A few times when the store is closed, I’ve taken men to the salon… I’ve given them an oil massage and we’ve had hot sex on the treatment bed as people pass by the store outside. Nobody knows!’
It reminded me of my own recent dalliance. It had been about a month since I got hot and heavy with a gentleman on my mailbox.
I should mention that I live in an apartment building where many people live and the mailbox is at the main entrance. Oh, and I should also mention that I live in Bondi – that’s hardly quiet. There are a lot of people walking around the area all the time.
So, how did this come about? Well, I’d had a long, fabulous, rambunctious lunch and it had gone on into the night – as all good lunches do.
We ended up in a bar that happened to have an ex-fling, and of course we got flirty. I ended up leaving to go home for my cozy Uber Eats order and a repeat of Clarkson’s Farm. So healthy. Before he entered, a text came from ‘said’ fling.
“You looked good tonight.”
Jana recalled a ‘dalliance’ she shared with an ex-flame who saw the couple get ‘hot and heavy’ over Jana’s mailbox
Oh, here we go, I thought. The problem I have with this man is that he is my kryptonite. Yes, he has the ability to weaken all my senses. I’m well aware that he’s not boyfriend material, and yet, 30 minutes later, he’s standing at the front of my apartment waiting for me to let him in.
I told myself he definitely wouldn’t be staying, so I decided to go outside and say hello, maybe a kiss, and then go back to my comfy warm bed on my own.
Well, spoiler alert: it didn’t quite go to plan.
I ran out in my silk nightgown and straight into his arms. We were soon making out big time against the mailbox and I remembered he’s a ridiculously good kisser.
The passion was on fire, and so when he put on my nightgown, I literally lost my mind. It was all over in about three minutes, and we were giggling like naughty school kids.
I ran back inside with a big, cheeky smile on my face. The next morning I kept thinking back to that reckless moment. Thank God no one decided to come home. It was like a live OnlyFans video. But FREE.
And I know I should regret it, yes it was very irresponsible, blah blah blah, but I don’t, because for a few glorious minutes I felt really alive. It was sneaky, sexy and fun.
I decided to see if others were prone to this kind of behavior, so I went back to my trusty Instagram and asked my followers, “Where’s the boldest place you’ve got it (outside the bedroom)?”
I was expecting a few responses ranging from “in the car” to “by the pool” but it turns out we’re all a little wild.
Jana was surprised when many people confessed to having sex in public places, including on a ferris wheel in a cage, in the Centennial Park open-air cinema and in a swimming pool in Barcelona
I was inundated with answers. Overwhelmed I tell you! They include the following:
Caged ferris wheel.
In college in one of the music rehearsal rooms…that don’t have locks.
In a pool at a resort in Barcelona, where it was crowded in the middle of the day.
Centennial Park at the outdoor movies.
On a flight across the Atlantic in a first class seat while everyone else slept.
In a swimming pool at a resort in Barcelona it was busy in the middle of the day.
Sounds weird, but… a graveyard late one night after the village pub had closed… I’m embarrassed ha.
Drifting into a horse’s back while riding to the track to retrieve the horse.
AFL sports field dugout/substitute bench on the way home from a night out.
A water park in the dark (a water slide to be precise).
Hundreds of confessions poured in, many revealing the shocking places where they committed the deed, such as in the corner of a packed bar and in their boss’s office
In a locker room of Target stores.
In the corner of a packed bar.
The boss’s office after a work party.
In a speedboat in a barn on a farm.
In the back seat of a friend of her wife’s mini cooper, she let us take a date while she babysat.
Showering at work during working hours.
On the back of a 4 wheel motorcycle while stopping in the woods.
Emergency stairs at work, after working out that the floor above was free.
A married woman’s brand new range that her husband just bought her…on Valentine’s Day!
Viewing area of the parliament building.
In one of those small natural rock caves at the southern end of the beach (afternoon, full of light!!).
“I say anything that makes you feel alive and gives you a brutal core memory to think about when you’re old and gray makes for a worthy adventure,” said Jana
And on and on and on came the confessions.
It’s safe to say that outside of the bedroom, most of us are a little frisky when the mood gets us going. It made me feel a lot less guilty about my mailbox action.
Well, that was until another ex slipped into my DMs to remind me that we once did it in a pasture among cows. Good lord, am I an exhibitionist without everyone realizing it?
Anyway, I say anything that makes you feel alive and gives you a brutal core memory to think about when you’re old and gray makes for a worthy adventure.
Heck, naked! Just be careful not to get caught.