Paul O’Grady’s secret lesbian wife breaks silence on his death: Retired barmaid pays tribute to star

As the nation bid a tearful farewell to Paul O’Grady this week, there was one mourner who was notable for her absence — the woman he had been secretly married to for nearly three decades.

Now Teresa Fernandes has broken her silence to talk about her grief over the death of the beloved TV star and her fondness for the gay icon she married in a small registry office in 1977 and “forgot to divorce” for 28 years.

Speaking exclusively to MailOnline from her posh flat in Hampstead, north London, bisexual Teresa, 73, joked: ‘We’ve probably had one of the longest marriages in showbiz!’

“Paul was a very special, good friend of mine, but we didn’t really like each other.

“I was a lesbian and he was gay so the marriage would never have worked but we had a great time as friends and although it’s been almost 50 years I have great memories,” recalled Teresa, who divides her time between London and Lisbon. where she was born.

‘Of course I was sad when I heard Paul had passed away, he was always a good friend, but I hadn’t seen him since the early eighties.

“We just drifted apart around the time he started getting famous, but I didn’t go to the funeral because it’s too far for me to travel.”

Paul, who died suddenly in bed last month from a cardiac arrhythmia at the age of 67, met Teresa when the pair worked at North London gay bar The Showcase in the early 1970s, before finding smash hit Lily Savage with his alter ego. .

In his autobiography ‘The Devil Rides Out’ he wrote how Teresa’s visa was about to expire and how her mother – whose name was Maria – was after her to get married, so he proposed a ‘marriage of convenience’ to solve the dilemma. unload.

But Teresa, a retired hotel worker, told MailOnline, “Only part of that is true. Yes, my mother was after me to get married, but my papers were always in order, I would never be kicked out.

‘I even have a UK passport now because I’ve lived in the UK for so long but yes my mum used to ask ‘when are you getting married you’re almost 28’ so Paul stepped in to help me and keep my mum happy to hold. ‘

Teresa, who admitted the marriage never took place, said: “I told Paul what my mom said and he just turned to me and said, ‘Look, if you need to get married, I’ll help you’ and a few months later we were at the registry office on Harrow Road with friends who were getting married.

“We had a little party afterwards to celebrate with some of his friends and mine and that was it. We both continued our work, but we never lived or slept together.

“I told my mom I got married and she was very happy, we planned to go to Portugal and have the ceremony but in the end the plans changed because Paul couldn’t get any time off, so a friend of his went he did not lose the money for the ticket.

‘My mother never met Paul and I think she sensed something wasn’t right, but as far as she knew I was married.

“Paul told me he had never been married, but he said he had a daughter from when he was younger and at first I thought he was joking when he offered to marry me, but he really helped me.”

In the book, Paul also revealed how Teresa – whom he described as a lookalike of David Cassidy – stepped in to save him one night after an argument broke out between him and a foul-mouthed lesbian client known only as Jake .

He wrote how Jake had demanded a big run, but he’d ignored her and then she turned and yelled, “Are you fucking deaf?”

Paul wrote: ‘Reluctantly I stopped what I was doing and threw a large rum from the optics into a glass. She snatched the drink from my hand and threw the money in my face.

‘Before I had time to react Teresa, the Portuguese barmaid intervened.

“Get out bi***,” she growled to a disbelieving Jake. ‘I said get out. Who do you think throw money in their face? Get out now before I kill you.

Jake tossed her drink over Teresa, and in a flash, the otherwise placid Teresa moved toward her.

All hell broke loose, Jake tried to jump over the bar but was grabbed by Bill the bouncer, Peter the manager and a couple of heavily armed women and dragged out of the club swearing.

“Crazy ass,” Teresa said with a laugh, wiping her denim shirt with a tea towel. “But I had to do something before she killed you.

“I had liked the good-natured Teresa from the moment I met her. She was super cool and laid back and was a big hit with the female customers, who all loved her David Cassidy look.”

Paul added: “Teresa is originally from Lisbon and was under enormous pressure from her devout Catholic family to find a husband.

“When we drank Bacardi and Cokes, we didn’t realize that she would soon become the future Mrs. O’Grady….”

In writing of the ceremony, Paul said: ‘It was a curious assembly of people who gathered on the steps of the Registrar’s Office in Harrow Road that morning, 27th May.

Big Phil, the jovial Irish lesbian, a woman built like a Royal Marine who made Charles Bronson seem rather fey by comparison, Stella, old school lesbian in her fifties, always the perfect gentleman in both manner and appearance, neat and tidy in a three-piece suit and tie, her gunmetal hair cropped close to her head and combed back with brilliantine, making her look like a war spy.’

He added, “The bride wore a white trouser suit, while the groom in his old faithful wore a cream suit bought with Norman’s (friend) birthday money.”

The star of the show was undoubtedly Lozzy who acted in loco parentis as the mother of the groom (the real model was left out for obvious reasons.

“At the end of the ceremony, after the immortal words ‘I now pronounce you husband and wife’, the clerk turned to me and said, ‘Come on, you know what you have to do now, don’t you?

‘Pay?’ I answered. No dear, kiss the bride.’

Paul and Teresa were married at the time before finally divorcing in February 2005.

Teresa said, “Of course I knew all these years that I was married, but I just didn’t really think about it as I moved on with my life.

“Paul and I kept working after we got married and we had a fun party with his friends and mine and then we just drifted apart.

“I’ve had other partners, boyfriends and girlfriends since then, and Paul throughout our marriage, but he was never the jealous type, and neither was I because of our situation.

‘I think I last saw the pub when his friend Alan, who was the best man at the wedding, invited me to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern in the early 1980s when Paul was performing there.

“We talked and reminisced but that was it and a few years later he was famous and on TV but then we lost touch.

‘Paul always made me laugh and I always said he would make someone really happy and he was a lovely man, we had such a good friendship and it’s a shame we grew apart.

“That he offered to marry me to help me was just one of those things that Paul would do, he would help everyone, he was very kind by nature and you can see it, he would help anyone if they needed it .

“I was sad when I heard he passed away but I was surprised because every time I saw him on TV and in the paper he always looked so good and he was still young he wasn’t old at all like I.’

Teresa added: ‘I only found out I was still married when my solicitor who helped me get my UK passport asked me and when I told him the story he said we had better sort it out.

“Eventually the divorce came through and when I saw the date I had to smile because it was Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2005.

‘We were married for 28 years, most people don’t even get half that nowadays. It must have been one of the longest marriages in show business.’