English legend Paul Gascoigne has opened up about his never-ending battle to stay sober, revealing he is staying in his agent’s guest room and attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings again.
Gascoigne, 56, has publicly battled mental health issues and alcohol addiction since ending his legendary football career.
Regarded as one of the greatest English players of all time, Gascoigne made 57 appearances for his country and played for a host of teams including Newcastle, Tottenham, Lazio and Rangers.
But now, as revealed during an interview with High performance‘Gazza’ lives with his manager Katie Davies in a residential street in Poole on the south coast of England.
‘I used to be a happy drunk. It’s not me anymore. I’m a sad drunk. “I don’t go out and drink, I drink indoors,” the former midfielder said.
England legend Paul Gascoigne, 56, has opened up about his never-ending battle to stay sober
Gascoigne is regarded as one of the best English players of all time and has played 57 times for his country
Gascoigne told High Performance: ‘I used to be a happy drunk. It’s not me anymore. I’m a sad drunk
‘People know Paul Gascoigne, but Gazza, nobody knows. Even me sometimes. I was in trouble for a lot of years, when I damaged my ligaments and then my kneecap, I missed four years of football. I would have 100 caps (for England).
‘I try not to go down because the world is tough enough. And if I’m really down, I grab a drink to cheer myself up.
‘I don’t think I’ve let any manager down, or the players or the fans, you know. If there was anyone I let down, it was me. But more the drinking side of it, when I was done playing.”
Gascoigne, who was inducted into the English Football Hall of Fame in 2002 before calling time on his playing career in 2004, has struggled with his battle for sobriety since retiring.
He went to rehab for a seventh time in 2014 for alcohol addiction, attended a £6,000-a-month clinic in Southampton, and even paid £20,000 to have anti-drinking pellets put into his stomach in a bid to stop drinking. He admitted during a 2021 interview that he will “always be an alcoholic.”
Gascoigne’s battle with alcohol has also led to a string of arrests for drunkenness, disorderly conduct and drink driving. The former superstar admits that he hardly watches football anymore because he misses it so much.
‘If I want to make it a bad day, all I have to do is go to the pub. “If I want it to be a good day, grab my fly rod and go fishing,” he added.
‘It’s not about the drinking, it’s about the afterwards. Then when I look at my phone and see 30 messages or missed calls, I know I’m in trouble. But I’m doing well. Last year wasn’t great, it took a few months.’
Gascoigne, who used to ‘always’ attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings but now goes much less often, admitted he is trying to visit more often.
“I went to a meeting the other day, so that was okay. Just an AA meeting. I went with a friend and that was okay. They’re fine, harmless,” he said.
A generational talent, Gascoigne was inducted into the English Football Hall of Fame in 2002
Gascoigne, pictured during a television interview with ITV last year, has publicly battled mental health problems and alcohol addiction since retiring in 2004.
The former England international pictured with his manager Katie Davies in October 2019
Now, instead of bingeing on booze, Gascoigne drinks coffee in abundance. The former footballer admitted during the interview that he often drinks six cups of coffee by ten o’clock in the morning and drinks a total of about fifteen packs of mocha per day.
“It’s easy actually, I just try to stay out of the way,” he continued. ‘When I drink something, I drink it because I feel like it, and not for any particular reason. I don’t blame anyone, I blamed a lot of people when I drank. “It’s damned because he did”. “Because so and so did this.”
“After I went to the first few meetings, I did the Twelve Steps, and one of the steps was meeting the person you blamed and apologizing to them.”
The English legend told how he once apologized to the shop owner after stealing a chocolate bar. The salesman told Gascoigne that the store’s cameras had caught him, but he decided not to do anything about it because it was ‘him’.
However, some members of the public are less friendly and forgiving towards Gascoigne. Katie, who doesn’t keep alcohol in the house, revealed that some people occasionally leave bottles of gin on the doorstep, waiting for Gascoigne to unknowingly pick up the bottle and opportunistically take a photo.
Speaking about his life after football and how he deals with his past, Gascoigne continued: “I called Katie crying in November a few years ago.
‘What I did to myself and other people, prison and rehab – taking cocaine off the toilet seats – and when I was asked to be ambassador for my country, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
‘When I visit these locations I hardly talk about football, more about the crazy things I used to do. I have to go in right away and make them laugh.
Gascoigne weeps after England’s World Cup semi-final defeat to West Germany in July 1990
He admitted that he hardly watches football anymore because he misses the buzz of playing
“There have been a few times I’ve cried on stage. You miss it on Saturdays, you know, entertaining people. It gave me such a damn buzz and you miss it.
‘I can be emotionally soft. It doesn’t take long before we cry sometimes. I keep a lot of things, things I should share, but I’m afraid to share them with people. I don’t think I’ll ever grow up, and I don’t mind that, you know?
‘I am proud of what I have given people. I gave almost a million pounds to ten different charities and called them to keep it quiet.
“I never (gave up). I think the time I give in is when I’m in a wooden box. I will continue to fight on.’