Pamela Anderson’s bare-faced shtick is an ugly lie… I know this desperate Double D-lister’s real beauty secrets, writes PAULA FROELICH

A cooing chorus of oohs and ahhs erupted from a gaping crowd outside Cipriani Wall Street in lower Manhattan on Monday as former Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson stepped onto the red carpet.

Anderson – known for bouncing bosom and sex tape – has been on the road to promote her new film The last showgirl. It’s about an elderly Vegas dancer who applies her blush with a mop and is now coming to grips with the end of her career.

It already gives this Double D-lister some Oscar buzz. But it also cuts to the bone.

Much of the fawning admiration Anderson receives is not for her acting (say what you will about her exuberant amateur film performance), but for her fresh-faced looks.

When Pammy steps out these days, she usually wears no (obvious) makeup: no foundation, no lipstick, no blush.

The bottle-blonde warrior told People Magazine this week that for her, “beauty” actually means “being brave and making your dreams come true.” It’s never too late.’

Brave? Sorry, Pim. You’re not saving the Amazon.

Let’s apply some cleanser, okay?

Anderson – of bouncing bosom and sex tape fame – has been out and about promoting her new film The Last Showgirl. It’s about an elderly Vegas dancer who applies her blush with a mop and is now coming to grips with the end of her career.

This ‘natural beauty revolution’ is about as organic as 34DDs. (Pam was cut back to her original 34Cs in the late 1990s, but still looks suspiciously perky for a 57-year-old woman with two kids.)

Her bare-faced pose isn’t all that groundbreaking either; Alicia Keys stopped painting her face in 2016. Where are her hosannas?

It’s also a lot easier to love your bare skin when you have all the time and money to perfect your canvas.

Pam’s forehead is as tight as a snare drum and there’s no trace of that dreaded crepey neck skin that Nora Ephron once wrote so eloquently about in her book “I Feel Bad About My Neck.”

Her pencil-thin eyebrows seem almost tattooed, her cheekbones are perfect, her jawline mysteriously firm.

“I’m not trying to be the prettiest girl in the room,” she lamented in October. Maybe not the most beautiful, but certainly still the most attention-grabbing.

And I have an idea of ​​what’s really going on here.

Anderson, like almost every other fading Hollywood hottie, from the perpetually bloated Nicole Kidman to the scarred belly button scandal Cindy Crawford, has a skincare line to slay.

The slogan of Pammy’s ‘mindful, minimal’ brand ‘Sonsie’ comes straight from Meghan Markle’s Montecito mumbo-jumbo handbook: ‘Be Sonsie, Be You!’

Mindful and meaningless.

This ‘natural beauty revolution’ is about as organic as 34DDs. Pam scaled back to her original 34Cs in the late 1990s, but still looks suspiciously perky for a 57-year-old woman with two kids (she’s pictured here in 2006).

It’s also a lot easier to love your bare skin when you have all the time and money to perfect your canvas.

Her social media is full of this new-age marketing chatter from LA: all-natural, up-and-coming, vegan, cruelty-free.

“The purpose is to fulfill our own purpose on earth… It goes beyond healthy skin,” Pam tweeted.

Translation: Spend your hard-earned paycheck on my gunk and junk, and you’ll soon look like the kind of girl Tommy Lee would whip out the video camera for.

To be fair, Anderson isn’t the only voracious capitalist in the beauty-industrial complex spouting “body positivity” nonsense.

Remember when almost every female fitness clothing brand declared that fat was the new skinny black dress and sent chubby models down the runways?

Well, guess what? Fat isn’t great.

That’s why every major female celebrity now secretly shoots up enough Ozempic to vaccinate a rhino.

And the same goes for Anderson’s unapologetic ‘courage’: it is built on a pack of lies.

The worst part is that they and all those other shameless elixir shills turn the rest of us into regular women who work 60 hours a week and put on a little mascara and a lip to avoid looking like an extra on “The Walking Dead.” , feel inferior.

There’s nothing wrong with being glam for going out. And if everyone had access to the best plastic surgeons and dermatologists in the world, perhaps they too could feel free to start with a new face.

Anderson is not a bold, plain-faced Joan of Arc. And counterfeiting is not empowerment. It’s fake feminism. So put on some lipstick – and save me the shlock, Pam.