A woman has revealed she uninvited her fiancé’s overbearing mother while she was preparing for their wedding.
“AITA for telling my soon-to-be MIL (mother-in-law) that I’m marrying her son and not her, right after I didn’t invite her to our wedding?” the future bride wanted in a Reddit post on the Am I The A**hole subreddit, which, at the time of writing, racked up over 5,000 upvotes in just two days.
The expectant wife and her fiancé, both 28, met in college, and according to the original poster (OP), the pair have “a great relationship” and got engaged last year.
Leading up to their fall wedding, the couple had been busy planning, but the bride-to-be’s future mother-in-law had complicated things every step of the way.
A woman took to Reddit to wonder if she was wrong for not inviting her fiancé’s mother to her upcoming wedding — and ended the conversation with a snarky comment
“When I realized she was about to explode again, I interrupted her with, ‘In case you don’t know, I’m the one marrying your son, not you,'” the bride recalled of the heated meeting (stock image )
‘When she heard we were engaged she was super excited, very unusual. We all then realized that she actually wanted to frame the whole day around her – we thought, “Everyone should be praising me for giving birth to this boy, he couldn’t even get married without me!” the OP explained.
‘The craziness really ramped up from there: she went with him to tuxedo fittings, tried to plan the music (even OUR FIRST DANCE), and got mad at me for daring to choose a dress she didn’t like .’
Furthermore, her fiancé’s relationship with his mother has long been a “sore point” for him, and much of his family feels the same way.
“She’s divorced from his father and from what I’ve heard (and seen) the family isn’t getting along with her,” the bride explained.
“If you met her, you’d understand why: She’s super judgmental and rude, and barely has a nice word to say about her own kids, let alone me.”
‘Unfortunately, my fiancé (her only son and youngest child) is her glaring favorite – she really wants him to be mommy’s boy but he’s not at all and he’s doing a great job of interacting with her and keeping his distance ( which honestly he prefers).”
As the future mother-in-law became increasingly involved in the wedding planning, the bride-to-be and her fiancé, along with his extended family, “began toying with the idea of not inviting her again based on this behavior.” ‘
The bride admitted that, “as wrong as it naturally feels” not to invite her future mother-in-law, “this is a pretty exceptional case and, honestly, her actions were starting to make us fear for our own wedding.”
Commenters overwhelmingly agreed that the bride-to-be was justified in her comment to her future mother-in-law
After deciding not to invite her to the ceremony anymore, the couple asked her to come to their home, where the couple “sat her down quietly and kindly explained to her that we no longer wanted her to attend the wedding.”
“She got really angry and immediately flew at me and not her son, as if I was the one who influenced the rest of the family not to invite her,” the bride explained.
“My frustration with her boiled over, and without yelling, I stood up and told her that I wanted her to stop yelling, and that she had no right to talk to me the way she was.
“When I realized she was going to explode again, I interrupted her with, ‘In case you don’t know, I’m the one marrying your son, not you.’ She didn’t say anything else, just grabbed her bag and left.”
The bride went on to describe that her fiancé’s mother hasn’t spoken to her since meeting, “but she’s trying to get my son to change his mind (believe me when I say he won’t).”
The future mother-in-law “wants an apology” from the bride-to-be, but the rest of the groom-to-be’s family thinks the OP did nothing wrong.
‘I wonder a bit whether my comment was unnecessary and whether it would have been better to remain the calm and collected party. I’m just so done with her and I wanted to let her know exactly how I felt,” the post concluded
Commentators overwhelmingly sided with the woman.
“I don’t care what she thinks. It seems like everyone agrees she shouldn’t be at the wedding, so 100% NTA. PS You might want to hire security to keep her out,” read one comment with the most votes.
To this the OP responded, “Yes, security is probably a good idea…”
‘NTA. You did things EXACTLY correctly. If you didn’t put your foot down now, you would have a lifetime of drama with her. This post should be saved/pasted as an example of how to properly deal with a terrible mother-in-law. And your fiancé deserves a high five for having your back!’ wrote a second commenter.
‘NTA. This kind of delusion will only get worse over time, especially if it is not (decisively) suppressed,” a third added.
“Either you set firm boundaries now, or she’ll throw tantrums at every milestone for the rest of your life.
“Congratulations on having a future husband with a gleaming steel spine to match yours.”
A fourth echoed: “NTA. Congratulations on your spine.”
A fifth added: “NTA. Screw is the “calm and collected party”. That woman literally wants to marry her son. You spoke the truth. She wants to go to the altar to “have a moment with her son”, wow, sweet house Alabama. Well done for putting her in her place. Provide security for the wedding or for family members so they can stay alert in case she decides to show up.”
Someone else further confirmed the OP’s response, writing, “Of all the crazy shizzle you could have thrown at her, that’s as benign as it gets. NTA’
And, as another commenter put it, “NTA – she sounds crazy.”