In the spirit of the Entente Cordiale, let’s start with the positives. The final act of the opening ceremony was a triumph that showcased France’s technological ingenuity and theatrical genius.
Multicoloured laser beams tore open the rusty shell of the Eiffel Tower and the Olympic flame floated into the sky on a golden sphere, to the tune of Celine Dion, who had put her illness aside to sing a classic ballad by Edith Piaf.
But by then it was unfortunately too late. After 210 minutes of boredom, confusion and Clouseau-esque blunders, and looking ridiculous in their plastic macs, the watching world leaders and celebrities had become Les Miserables.
Or rather, those who were still there. Soaked to the bone because the grandstand’s cantilever roof only covered the upper seats, half the VIPs – including Team GB raincoat Sir Keir Starmer – had slipped away long before the end.
The deafening looks on the faces of King Felipe and Queen Letizia of Spain betrayed a desire to escape to the Costas.
French President Emmanuel Macron smiles as the opening ceremony takes place
Spectators use umbrellas and raincoats to protect themselves from the rain during the opening ceremony
As they peered through their plastic sheeting, one wondered if they had noticed that the Olympic flag with the five rings had been hoisted upside down. Or if the fireworks had been hastily blown off to avoid the embarrassment of soggy pyrotechnics that had failed to go off properly.
All this after a massive French security operation failed to prevent a railway sabotage, which – some would say by chance – prevented thousands of spectators from attending the spectacle on the banks of the Seine.
Although President Emmanuel Macron looked down on the spectacle with the arrogance of an emperor at the ancient Olympiad (sheltered from the rain, of course), behind his grim grin he must have harboured anger and humiliation.
Because with France torn by political unrest and social unrest, he knows that the importance of these Games goes far beyond the number of gold medals the nation might win. Their success is fundamental to France’s future.
As unrest grows in the city’s bleak suburbs and radical Islamism rises, Macron – whose popularity is at a low point in his seven years in office – has called for the Olympics to “lighten the hearts of the people” and unite them in “a summer of French pride”.
Will his prayer be answered? The truth is that it would require a leap in public faith of world-record proportions. Just last month, after recklessly calling an early general election in a desperate bid to rally the nation behind him, Macron direly warned that a victory for extremists on either the left or the right could unleash a “civil war.” As things unfolded, his political move backfired spectacularly.
Although the far right won the first of two votes, a messy left-wing alliance was formed – many say undemocratic – to prevent them from taking power in parliament.
As the Games get underway, France is in governmental limbo, with an interim prime minister leading what opponents call a “zombie cabinet.”
Macron has called for a political amnesty during the Olympics so that the world can see his country in its best light, but opponents have met his request with cynicism. The attempt to use sport to project his virility is a well-rehearsed tactic for Macron. He has developed a bond with French football star Kylian Mbappe, is popular as a tennis player and was pictured in sweat-stained boxing gear during the Olympic countdown.
Fans wear raincoats as they wait for the opening ceremony to begin
Sir Keir Starmer pulls the hood of a Team GB raincoat over his head
The deafening expressions on the faces of King Felipe (left) and Queen Letizia of Spain (right) betrayed a desire to escape to the Costas
President Emmanuel Macron (left) speaks with German Chancellor Olaf Scholz (right) during the opening ceremony
Macron (right) shakes hands with footballer Kylian Mbappe (left)
He even suggested that the Olympics, with its supposedly noble values of honest effort and camaraderie, should serve as a “metaphor” for how politics should be done. Perhaps, with a billion spectators, Macron should have made more of an effort to ensure the £115 million opening ceremony, years in the making, ran smoothly.
He could argue that the many painful disruptions had nothing to do with him. He could just as easily try to absolve himself of blame for the decision to hold the event outside a stadium for the first time in Olympic history, rather than forcing athletes from 85 countries to endure a soggy boat ride down a muddy river.
A quick glance at the capital’s annual weather patterns would have told organizers that on average, it rains on 11 out of every 31 July days, with a total monthly fall of 2.5 inches. Given the one-in-three chance of a downpour, surely the risk was too great?
Granted, Macron didn’t plan the ceremony. It was dreamed up by avant-garde director Thomas Jolly, a darling of right-thinking Parisians whose appreciation for the ethereal, woke themes is unlikely to be shared in traditional corners of the country.
But even the endearing Macron cannot charm his way out of this mess. His fingerprints are all over it.
From the moment he came to power in May 2017, he positioned himself as the centrepiece of France’s bid for the Olympic Games, and has done everything he can to gain political advantage from the choice of Paris as host country.
Some will no doubt admire his audacity. But one consequence of Macron’s audacity was that dozens of statesmen and women – the very people he needs as political allies – got soaked for an endless spectacle that they could only watch on screens because their view of the river was blocked.
Another result was that he once again came across as unreachable, distant and incompetent. All over Paris people complained about no-go zones that prevented them from reaching their homes and going to work.
In the suburbs, where many events take place, I again hear complaints about noise pollution, pollution, nuisance, exorbitant ticket prices and the unaffordable apartments that are supposed to replace the Olympic Village.
And yet, for the president, there remains a glimmer of hope. The London Games 12 years ago also had teething problems and enthusiasm was slow to build.
Multi-colored laser beams tear open the rusty shell of the Eiffel Tower during the opening ceremony
The Olympic flame floats into the sky on a golden globe
Celine Dion sings L’Hymne à l’Amour to close the opening ceremony
But after a few days and the British gold medals, the Olympic spirit took hold and spread rapidly, leading to perhaps the most joyful period in history.
Hosting a hugely successful Games also did wonders for Britain’s global reputation and the popularity of our government. Macron must pray that the same happens in Paris.
Because if the greatest show on earth can’t restore the public’s confidence in their president and ease the terrifying divisions in France, then God knows what can.