IIt is an immutable truth that inside every elite athlete lives a frustrated professional golfer. While the rest of us dream of winning the Champions League final, winning the men’s singles title at Wimbledon with a backhand down the line, or scoring the opening touchdown in the Super Bowl, the people who actually do all of these things are have been and done Often they just seem to want to spend a little more time on the course, fantasizing about how many majors they would have now if only they had made different choices when they had the chance.
Wednesday during the Ryder Cup is All-Star Day, an event largely intended to give the TV companies something to show for in the lead-up. This year’s roster covered the full spectrum of celebrities from A to Z. On one side was Novak Djokovic, the most successful male tennis player in history. And in the other Garrett Hilbert, who remains at that awkward level of fame where the organizers felt unable to mention his name without immediately adding an explanation of who he is, what he does and how many fans he has, as if it the best way to cover up the inevitable awkward pause.
“And on the tee, Garrett Hilbert, Dude Perfect, a YouTuber with 70 million views!” The announcer helpfully explained that Hilbert “holds the world record for the highest basketball throw ever holed.” Think of him as the Cheryl Baker of the content creator generation. To his credit, Hilbert plays a pretty mean game of golf, nearly making a hole with his second shot on the first, in what was probably the shot of the day. And besides, the organizers whispered, just think of his clicking. Do you have seen its demographics?
In between came Gareth Bale, who seems to be preceded by the “did you know he’s actually playing all over again” whispers everywhere he goes, Andriy Shevchenko, one of the most popular men on the Pro-Am circuit, the former New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz and Italian surfer Leonardo Fioravanti, who was the dazzlingly handsome man in the area until Carlos Sainz, the Formula 1 driver, arrived on the tee just after him. College actress Kathryn Newton had a swing that knocked many of them. Kipp Popert, the world’s No. 1 disabled golfer, completed the lineup.
Even for this couple, you imagine, there were quite a few nerves at first. Djokovic inevitably pulled a tennis racket out of his bag and shaped to hit a lob, then blasted a drive straight short and straight into the fairway. He peered into the distance behind it, on the way to the gallery. It was poor old Sheva who got confused, because he had apparently made the mistake of taking it all so seriously that he had been practicing every day for the past six weeks. He shot his tee shot well over the 17th tee.
They were split into teams, one led by Colin Montgomerie; “a solid partner,” Bale said, and no one knew whether he meant it ambiguously or not. “Did you know he’s actually playing from scratch?” Monty replied. The other was under Corey Pavin. “At least we finished second,” said Pavin when asked about his team’s defeat to Montgomerie’s Europa at Celtic Manor in 2010. He said it with the air of a man who knows exactly how the line will go, because he has delivered. so often. Here Pavin’s fate came second again. A sign, Europe hopes, for the week ahead, and if not, at least they’ll have a few hours of content and some clips for social media.