Olympic star Raygun has opened up about the mental turmoil she has endured since going viral during her breakdancing performances in Paris.
The 37-year-old shot to fame thanks to her iconic routine at last summer’s Games, when she scored a total of 0.0 points.
Raygun, whose real name is Rachael Gunn, became Australia’s first ever female breakdancing competitor at the Olympics. But the university lecturer was subjected to brutal trolling for her infamous performance, which saw her jump like a kangaroo.
Gunn revealed the “toll” her Olympic experience has taken in recent months, admitting her anxiety was “really bad.”
“People have really tried to shame me,” she said. But Raygun vowed not to let her “haters” win.
Olympic star Raygun has opened up about the mental turmoil she has endured since going viral
The Australian Olympic star was pictured on the cover of Stellar magazine this week
‘It was so difficult to process’ she said to Stellar. ‘My whole world has changed. My identity has changed. My relationships have changed, for better or worse.
‘Unfortunately, in times like these you find out who your real friends are. And because things are still changing, it’s just impossible to keep your wits about you. It’s hard to predict what it will be like when I leave home.’
She added, “I think the haters want me to be locked in a room in shame and silence.
‘Every time I leave the house, go out to dinner, go to the shops or do a fashion shoot and lift my head back up, it says, ‘No, you didn’t knock me down. You didn’t succeed. I’m still standing because of what I did. It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to be yourself. You don’t have the power you think you have.”
Gunn revealed why she focused on reading and “spring cleaning” before speaking out. She also outlined how the response to her performance has affected her mental health.
“There was so much hate and emotion that I had to wait until everyone had calmed down,” Gunn told Stellar.
The Australian dancer received a lot of criticism for her performance at the Olympic Games in Paris
“This is a process I’m working through, trying to resist that shame,” Raygun admitted
“This is a process I’m working through, trying to resist that shame. I’m working on mental health stuff: seeing my psychologist, doing exercises when I don’t feel like it, doing breathing exercises.
“(Mental health) is something I have to take care of now – it’s getting exhausted. It definitely took its toll.”
She added, “It’s still a process because I have to (prioritize) my own health. “I talk to my family when I can, but it’s hard for me to know the toll this is taking on them because I think it’s going to take a toll on me.”
The Australian does not believe the reaction would have been so strong if she were a man. “I would have been given the title (maverick) very quickly and people would have gotten behind me much more,” she insisted.
But despite all the ridicule, the 37-year-old said she remains positive by keeping a collection of funny photos and clips.
“My friends all sent them to me and I loved it,” she added. ‘I liked it when people laughed at me, because yes, I did crazy things. I know that.’