Oisin Murphy will be crowned champion jockey next week… but he is still fighting his biggest battle: ‘I know I can’t have a drink any more. I don’t want to spiral out of control’

It quickly becomes clear that we are not here to party. The trophy that Oisin Murphy has worked tirelessly to win is twinkling on the horizon, but his emotions are not what you would expect.

“When I realized I was going to be champion, I thought: why and how did I put so much pressure on myself,” Murphy begins. ‘The feelings of happiness, joy or self-worth did not come. And they haven’t done that any other year.”

It’s the first of many candid confessions during a riveting half-hour at Salisbury Racecourse.

A Chelsea supporter, Murphy’s eyes light up when he raves about Cole Palmer, while he shudders when he talks about the Netflix series Gangs Of London – ‘Don’t watch it before bed’.

“Ah, Palmer is fantastic, isn’t he?” enthuses Murphy, who grew up idolizing Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard. ‘He came from Manchester City and they obviously didn’t think he would become the star he has become. I love that his self-confidence has helped him discover stardom.”

Murphy has 153 winners and is 49 ahead of nearest pursuer Rossa Ryan this season

Murphy, a Chelsea fan, highlights Cole Palmer’s confidence, something all jockeys also need

Confidence is something all jockeys need, and Murphy’s elegance in the saddle made him a star and enabled him to win the title three times in a row, from 2019 to 2021. It was something he dreamed of when he was a child rode ponies in Killarney.

However, circumstances have ensured that his rival William Buick has been able to take the crown in the past two years. For ‘circumstances’, read disciplinary issues.

The 29-year-old has served well-documented bans, one of 14 months for breaching Covid rules in 2020 and misleading the British Horseracing Authority. Another involved failing a breath test.

There’s no need to go through the details of those incidents, but it’s not hard to see the impact it had on him.

Others may toast the success Murphy has enjoyed this season – 153 winners and counting, 49 ahead of nearest pursuer Rossa Ryan – but he is more cautious and prefers to wonder what he has achieved.

‘Is success ever enough?’ Murphy asks. ‘You know what I mean? That’s what drives me for more championships. I’m 29, I’ve won 31 Group 1 races. Ryan Moore just passed 200, right? So what am I actually doing this for? I’m not going to top that!

‘When I was suspended, it was the first time in my life that I thought about income. I used to never be able to spend what I earned because I worked too hard.

‘Then suddenly I had no income; a mortgage and show jumping horses (his passion outside of racing) to pay for. I had invested money, but I didn’t want to reach out. “I tried to ruin my career, I need my money because I have no money left.”

Murphy has served well-documented suspensions that have had an impact on the jockey

Murphy admits that his focus during banishment was to stay sober and get his life back on track

‘There is now a financial awareness. In the first half of my career I never thought further than a few weeks ahead. Now it’s a little different.

“My focus during the suspension was staying sober, getting my life back on track and using the time to ensure I was ready for when the BHA gave me the green light to return.

‘A multiple champion jockey? I never see myself that way. Look, Ryan could have won 15 titles if he wanted to.”

Perhaps, but nothing can change the fact that Murphy is one of only 47 men to wear this crown since its founding in 1840. Few other challenges in sport compare to the brutal daily grind; the mental and physical assault takes an extraordinary toll. He always had a drink to find relief.

“My friend, Elizabeth, is the chef at Cordon Bleu,” says Murphy. ‘She is in very good physical condition, she does barre lessons (a combination of pilates and dance). We eat healthy. Because of my workload and because I no longer drink, my weight is much better.’

Murphy believes the only way he can continue to drive well is by staying sober

Does he miss drinking? “I just know I can’t have one,” he replies. ‘I don’t want it to get out of hand. When you stop riding, you can be proud of yourself if you can do it with a certain amount of respect. I’m not going to drive until I’m 50. When I stop riding, I want to be happy with the way my career ended.

‘Whether that’s the next five years or ten years, it won’t be much longer. The only way I can do that is to stay sober. I sincerely believe that. The year I feel like I’m not driving well will be my last. There is no set time frame and it is important to complete things in one piece.

‘In sports you can’t force things. It’s like the rugby player or the footballer who scores a lot of tries and goals and kicks well and then suddenly his form cools down. They will have periods of self-doubt. The same goes for jockeys if you don’t ride winners.

‘Am I good enough? I was in Kempton a few weeks ago. I had six favorites on an eight-race card. Three of them had a lead and all six were defeated! Overthinking is a nightmare. Statistically I’ve ridden better than ever, but there are many days where I wish I could have done better.’

Much of what he says is consistent with the views of athletes at their peak. The good days are expected, the bad days need to be scrutinized.

Murphy speaks to King Charles after his success at Royal Ascot in June

He has hardly missed a beat at the major festivals this year, but the satisfaction is still lacking

Murphy is on fire this season, barely missing a beat at the major festivals, but the satisfaction is lacking.

“It’s almost a bit embarrassing when you go to get the trophy,” he says. ‘I certainly feel that. Championship day (a week today) is a very big day for the horses. People go to Ascot because they want to see the Champion Stakes winner or the QEII winner.

‘Do they want to see me? I don’t know what it is, it just never worked out how I thought it would feel.

‘I am satisfied with my work ethic, but will I also be satisfied with the performance? It will always take time to get myself back to the place I once was.”

The point is, it’s already there – in the first place. One day he will realize that this is something worth celebrating.

Oisin Murphy will be crowned champion jockey at Ascot on October 19. For more information, visit greatbritishracing.com