Obsessed with someone who doesn’t love you back? You could be suffering from erotomania

Do you know someone whose crush on a celebrity is a little too creepy?

They could be suffering from a little-known psychiatric condition called erotomania, while genuinely believing that the star loves them back.

The one in every 500 Americans who suffer from it experiences delusions, such as believing that the lyrics in singers’ songs are about them.

And experts say that in the world of online dating, it’s not just celebrities and politicians who are at risk; erotomaniacs can also fantasize about normal people.

The DSM-5-TR, also known as the psychiatrist’s bible, classifies the condition as a serious break with reality, leading to the obsessive pursuit of that which is admired by the admirer.

It can happen without the couple ever meeting and usually the admirer has a lower social status than the object of obsession.

In the digital age, this poses a particular danger to people isolated at home who can communicate with others online, psychiatrists from the University of Pec in Hungary wrote in a new case study. It was placed in the magazine of BMC psychiatry.

It focuses on one patient suffering from the unfortunate condition: an anonymous, 70-year-old retired chef.

She was hospitalized after a failed suicide attempt that she initially blamed on a rift with her husband.

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But in the course of psychiatric treatment it was revealed that the woman had been corresponding online with a world-famous musician who she believed had never been named.

Reader, this goes without saying, but this patient had actually attracted the attention of a catfish, not a famous musician.

Their relationship started after the fan started commenting on social media accounts for the musician, when an account with his photo on it started messaging her.

Over time, messages between the two evolved from friendly to romantic to exploitative, as the “musician” began demanding sums of money from the patient.

At that point, the patient’s husband became concerned and reported the incident to the police. This disruption led the woman to commit suicide, fearing that she would lose communication with the musician she “loved” so much.

After four weeks of intensive therapy and a course of antipsychotic drugs, the love spell was finally lifted and the doctors were able to bring the patient back to reality.

They said the only way they could make her see reason was to build a relationship with her where she didn’t feel judged for her feelings.

“Avoiding victim blame is of paramount importance, and building a safe, trusting, and supportive therapeutic relationship is essential,” the authors wrote.

The authors present this story as a cautionary tale for those who are online and lonely in the digital age. Other studies show this can happen to anyone: a case from 2017 from Temple University highlighted a young man who developed erotomania and stalked a fellow student.

When we’re online, we feel closer to our objects of desire than ever, and that can be dangerous, the researchers from the 2017 case point out.

‘Communication via social media can remove previous barriers that existed between an individual and the object of their delusions’