Today’s working life is full of ever-evolving challenges and pitfalls. When is it okay to date a coworker?
Can you tell your team to return to the office five days a week?
Whether you’re a bewildered Boomer, a confused Millennial or a confused Gen Zer, our brilliant new columnist Nicola Horlick is here to help.
She will use her forty years of business experience to guide you through the pitfalls and put you on the path to success in an atmosphere that is supportive and not a minefield. Read on for an exclusive sneak peek.
After four decades in the workplace, Nicola Horlick has tackled many tough problems. In her new biweekly column she will use her wealth of knowledge and experience to help you
Dear Nicola,
After a very drunken industry awards dinner, I stupidly had a one night stand with a guy who works for a rival company in my industry.
A few months later I got another job and to my horror he was there when I arrived at my new office.
My new company was doing a recruitment drive and they hired him too. We’re both on the same level, so at least he’s not in charge of me.
I was too embarrassed to talk to him and danced around the office to avoid him, but I saw him looking my way. I’m not interested in him at all, so that’s not a problem, but I’m afraid he’ll harass me or think I’m interested in a repeat gig, which isn’t the case.
I was really excited about this job, and it costs a lot more money, but now I feel sick every morning at the thought of having to face him. It’s just so humiliating. I know you’ll say this is a lesson in not drinking too much at work events and I learned that lesson the hard way, but what do I do now? – Anonymously
Nicola Horlick replies: It is always better to tackle these types of problems head-on. You should take the initiative and suggest that you and your colleague drink coffee together. Tell him that you would like to build a good working relationship and that you both need to get past the one night stand.
Nicola’s advice is to tackle a problem like this head-on: take the initiative and suggest that you and your colleague have coffee together to find a solution.
If you are the one who took the first step to resolve the issues, then you should be able to give him a clear signal that you want the relationship to be strictly professional from now on. Remember, he’s probably just as embarrassed as you are, and he’ll probably be relieved that you just want to forget about the drunken night out and move on.
If that approach doesn’t work and you still feel uncomfortable, you may want to request a transfer to another department. However, I feel like this would be an admission of defeat and you should be able to walk into the office with your head held high and migrate to a healthy working relationship.
The main purpose of working is to make money, but it should also be fun and if the thought of going to the office every morning makes you feel really nauseous because of your history with your coworker, then you absolutely need to do something about it immediately.
You’re right about avoiding too much drinking at work events. When I joined a prestigious bank in the city after leaving university, drinking was strictly prohibited and the bank’s founder always made it clear to all employees that any consumption of alcohol at work would affect their judgment.
At that time, business lunches involved large amounts of alcohol: sherry on arrival, white wine with the starter, red wine with the main course and liqueurs with coffee. Everyone could always see the visitor from my couch because we were the ones who strictly drank water. It’s definitely best to limit drinking to outings with friends rather than coworkers.
I am absolutely convinced that you can clear the air and move on. Please write and let me know how it goes.