Nickelodeon’s Super Bowl broadcast: an ingenious, wildly chaotic splash
Tits alternate Super Bowl program is, according to a statement from the production company, aimed at “lovers of slime and really good sports time.” I can’t say I belong to either camp. Yet I find myself parked in front of – or should I say glued to it? – Nickelodeon and CBS Sports’ slime-soaked Super Bowl simulcastwhile the other members of my family across the room watch the extra tense sports showdown like normal people.
Super Bowl LVIII Live from Bikini Bottom, as the crazy extravaganza is known, will be streamed from an official broadcast booth overlooking Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas. There are a few people sitting in front of the cameras, sports commentators Noah Eagle and Nate Burleson; as well as partners-in-slime Tom Star and Bill Fagerbakke, who voice SpongeBob SquarePants and his starfish sidekick, Patrick Star, respectively. Thanks to the miracle of reality-augmented animation, the latter gentlemen appear as blobby animations on my screen in the commentator booth. On the football field, a menagerie of other denizens of SpongeBob’s underwater world emerge, such as Larry the Lobster and Sandy Cheeks, the bucktoothed Texan SpongeBob character who holds her own as (a hilariously biased) side commentator. Dora the Explorer came into the picture as a rules expert. And let’s not forget the enormous purple pelicans that sporadically appear on the sidelines to burp up whole cheeseburgers by the dozen.
The setup is an ingenious feat in Nickelodeon marketing, with brand icons popping up everywhere, along with flying emojis, pineapples spinning out of players’ heads and countless jellyfish. Geysers of slime flow in the event of a field goal or touchdown. The overall effect is reminiscent of the sticker book of the wildest child you have ever met.
The show has another goal: to spark a younger generation’s interest in the sport, which saw a 13% drop in youth participation between 2019 and 2022, according to the Sports and Fitness Industry Association. Maybe, I thought, it could pique my interest too. I’ve never been able to see past the haze of fumbling and tumbling and absorb the rules of the game. On Super Bowl nights you can usually find me at the nacho station.
Fagerbakke, the voice of Patrick Star, assured me that I’m not the only ignorant person on the scene when I called him earlier this week. “I’m a professional idiot,” he said in that rich voice I’m used to hearing from little kids’ iPads in restaurants. The Idaho-born actor played football in college, and his main reason for narrating the game while wearing a leotard and tights was to show kids that “a gladiatorial sport” can have a fun side. “My job is to make crazy things happen and make room for new football fans,” he said.
Tonight’s project is extremely chaotic and no less impressive. It’s stressful to watch Travis Kelce’s face tense and contort as the game falls out of his team’s favor, but my hosts are doing everything they can to lighten the mood. I’m not even tempted to sit on the couch with my relatives.
Not even during commercial breaks, the content of which is mind-boggling in its own way. I hear there is a candy on the market that consists of a sticky worm with a sugar crust, which is meant to be dipped in a pool of sticky syrup. There’s also a stuffed animal that kids can put in a pretend oven. The slogan: “From dough to woah!”
Speaking of sticky stuff, there isn’t much dump slime. (Then again, there aren’t many touchdowns, especially early on.) But there’s an ocean of silly jokes and fun facts. I now know which player has ice cream in his veins and who likes pepperoni pizza. I’m starting to feel like I might understand something about how this game works. I find myself laughing out loud as we continue celebrity audience shots of animations including Leprawn James, Doja Catfish and Oprah Finfrey.
Game is over. Was my viewing party of one the event of a lifetime? Well, it had me rooting for a football match from the get-go the last play of overtime. And I quite liked it. So I’m going to go out there with a fin and say, yeah, that’s it.