Some people admire the partner who likes to take charge and “wear the pants” in the relationship.
These individuals are quick to make decisions and run the household, but a new study has found that they are also more likely to cheat.
That’s because perceived power leads to inflated confidence, feelings of desirability and the belief that they can have alternative partners, the study revealed.
Researchers conducted four experiments where they found that feelings of control were a predictor of cheating, including sexual fantasies, flirting and looking for a new partner.
“In a romantic relationship, this power dynamic can lead the more powerful partner to believe he has more to offer than his less powerful partner,” said lead author Gurit Birnbaum, a professor of psychology at Reichman University.
“The powerful may see this as a sign that they have more options outside the relationship and that they are generally more desirable partners.”
This is in line with previous research showing that feeling and being seen as powerful encourages impulsive behavior.
New research has found that the person wearing the pants in your relationship is more likely to cheat
Birnbaum and his colleagues conducted a series of four studies to examine the relationship between power dynamics and deception.
Participants in all experiments were in monogamous, heterosexual relationships that had lasted at least four months.
The first test assessed whether reliving an experience that made them feel powerful in their relationship would impact the participant’s sexual fantasies about alternative partners.
The researchers asked participants to describe a time when they felt more powerful than their partner, or a typical day in their relationship.
Then they wrote down a sexual fantasy involving someone other than their partner.
Male participants expressed greater sexual desire for alternative partners after describing a time when they felt empowered than after describing a typical day in their relationship.
But this was not the case for female participants, whose desire for alternative partners was unaffected by reliving a powerful moment.
In the second test, participants were again asked to describe a time when they felt powerful or an average day.
Their sense of control and security in their relationships increases their self-confidence, makes them feel desirable and makes them believe they have more relationship options
But then the researchers showed them photos of strangers and asked them to decide which, if any, they would consider as potential partners.
They made these choices under time pressure.
This time, the results showed that high perceived relationship strength increases the likelihood that both men and women will consider attractive others as potential partners.
In the third study, each participant described the power dynamics in their current relationships and rated their perception of their own power and “partner value” compared to that of their partner.
They then had to complete a task with an attractive person (who was an insider to the study, not a participant) and then rate their level of attraction to the insider.
The results showed that participants who saw themselves as the powerful person in the relationship also believed they had higher partner value, and this in turn increased their desire for the attractive insider.
Finally, in the fourth study, participants were asked to provide daily reports for three weeks about their perceived relationship strength, their value as a partner, and any sexual activities — including fantasies, flirting, or having sex — that involved someone other than their partner.
The researchers found that feeling a greater sense of power on a given day led to a higher perception of the participant’s own partner value the next day.
This in turn increased the likelihood of sexual behavior toward people outside the relationship the next day.
The cumulative results of these four studies showed that perceptions of power within a romantic relationship are strong indicators of a person’s interest in other potential partners.
In other words, people who think they “wear the pants” in their relationships showed more interest in others as potential partners.
“Those with a higher sense of power may feel motivated to ignore their commitment to the relationship and act on desires for short-term relationships or possibly other, more novel partners when the opportunity presents itself,” says co-author Harry Reis, professor of psychology at New York University. University of Rochester, in a statement.
The researchers published their findings in the journal Archives of sexual behavior.
This isn’t the first study to examine how the power dynamics of romantic relationships influence infidelity. But certain methodological limitations led to somewhat ambiguous conclusions, the researchers wrote.
However, they note that previous research has shown that partners with an equal balance of power tend to do better than partners with an imbalance.
Studies suggest this is true, despite the fact that power imbalances can produce some benefits, such as encouraging forgiveness of low-power partners and smoothing things over during conflict, the researchers wrote.
“However, only about half of romantic relationships have a relatively equal balance of power,” she added.
And according to the most recent data from 2021, about 21 percent of Americans have cheated on a romantic partner.
Some degree of power inequality in relationships is “almost inevitable,” the researchers wrote. They believe this work highlights the need for interventions that address these imbalances and prevent their negative consequences, such as infidelity.