New study shows the exact way women should apologize if they want forgiveness – and it’s LIKE A MAN
- Researchers found that assertive apologies were viewed more positively
- It is thought that this is because it allows women to be seen as more confident
- READ MORE: Men are less likely to become teachers or nurses due to gender bias
A wealth of research shows that women apologize much more often than men, even when they have done nothing wrong.
And now a new study shows that, at least in the workplace, they say sorry all wrong.
According to new research from scientists at the University of Arizona, apologizing in an assertive, typically masculine way can help you get ahead in the workplace.
In a series of four studies, researchers asked 800 male and female participants to rate a series of different written apologies written by real people.
Participants were asked to think about how sincere they thought the apology was, and whether this would make them more or less likely to cooperate with the apologizer.
Women who apologized with more assertive language received better responses, and men who used more feminine language received more sympathy because they were seen as ‘sensitive’
They found that women who used more assertive, “masculine” language were rated higher.
They identified the same pattern: assertive apologies from women received more likes and positive responses from Twitter users.
Sarah Doyle, author of the study and professor in the Department of Management and Organizations at the University of Arizona, said: ‘We found that women who apologized in a masculine style benefited because they were thought to increase their perceived competence.’
The first of several studies involved examining 87 apology tweets from celebrities including Lizzo, Kevin Hart, Tyler Posey and Kendra Wilkinson.
Dr. Doyle said tweets that violate gender stereotypes received an average of 17,000 additional likes on the platform and more positive sentiments from the audience.
In the second study, 336 working adults were asked to imagine that their accountant had sent them an email apologizing for an error on their taxes.
Participants were randomly assigned to groups classified by the accountant who delivered a stereotypically male or female apology.
The subjects were then asked how likely they were to continue working with the accountant.
The researchers found that participants were more likely to continue using a female accountant who delivered a typically male apology.
Interestingly, breaking gender stereotypes proved just as beneficial for men.
Men who apologized like women were eight percent more effective.
“The men who apologized with more stereotypically feminine language were seen as having greater interpersonal sensitivity that enhanced their perceived benevolence or warmth,” the study authors said.
Dr. Doyle said: ‘It is important to note that we have not found that men and women are punished for giving stereotypical excuses.’
‘On the contrary, they benefit from providing a counter-stereotype. So any apology is probably better than no apology at all.”
The team hopes to use the results to explore how communication can be improved beyond apologizing.
“A lot of the literature suggests that women apologize too much and men don’t apologize enough,” Dr. Doyle said.
‘It’s not just about whether people should apologize more or less, but how we can construct apologies differently. What really matters is what you include in that apology.”