Nelly Furtado recalls the “abusive qualities” she endured in a previous relationship – one that left her “feeling powerless.”
The 45-year-old did not reveal the identity of the other person involved, but bared her soul about their “toxic” dynamic.
She said that “fear” and “love” can keep someone from leaving a problematic relationship, as can “isolating yourself” and “not telling your friends the truth about what’s happening in your life.”
Furtado also claimed that “I think as women sometimes we tend to sacrifice our happiness” after falling “in love” with someone.
“I went through a very difficult time where I think I accepted some things that I would never accept now, in terms of the way you are treated,” she said. Call her daddy.
Nelly Furtado Recalls the ‘Abusive Characters’ She Endured in a Past Relationship – One That Made Her ‘Feel Powerless’
“You can’t see it at all when you’re in it, and sometimes we just love so hard, and we love,” the I’m Like A Bird hitmaker added.
“And I’m sure there are women too, you know, when we become mothers – we’re quite vulnerable when we become mothers because we want the best for our children and we want to protect them,” she added.
Furtado is a mother of three: she shares her daughter Nevis, 21, with her ex-boyfriend Jasper Gahunia, as well as two other children, a son and a daughter whose names she has not revealed with the rapper Jerry, aka Gerard Damien Long .
In between her relationships with the fathers of her children, she was married to sound engineer Demacio Castellon from 2008 to 2016.
“And I guess I’ll say in general, it can really happen to anyone, I feel powerless, you know what I mean?” Furtado said on Call Her Daddy.
“You could have all the money in the world and all the resources, but in your head, that’s really your only wealth in your head.”
She argued that someone who “cannot feel strong enough and clear enough” might struggle to get out of “a situation that may be toxic for you and not the best for you, and that may be abusive in any way.” is.’
Furtado noted that “it’s hard when you’re in a relationship with that imbalance, I would say, and abusive qualities. It’s hard to see outside of that because you isolate yourself. You stop talking to your friends. You don’t tell your friends the truth about what’s happening in your life. You live in a bubble.’
The 45-year-old did not reveal the identity of the other person involved, but bared her soul about their ‘toxic’ dynamic; pictured on stage in Nova Scotia in March
She explained, “And it’s hard to admit that you chose not to say anything, right? It’s hard to admit to yourself, right? And then, on top of that, love, right? Love keeps you there, because oh, you want to – and I will say so.”
Furtado argued that “I think as women we tend to sacrifice our happiness sometimes, once we get into it. Once we fall in love, right? We often have that – sometimes we sacrifice ourselves and think we’re doing the right thing.’
She explained, “Fear is also huge because when you’re scared, when you have fear, it can be a very powerful emotion.”
Furtado added, “You can be scared, but so can it, like you’re creating it in your head. You can be afraid, like, “Oh, what’s that person going to do to me or say about me, or like you know, etc.?” Don’t know.’
She continued, “You’re just afraid of that, and it gets worse, you know, when you have kids and there’s very different things to think about.”
The Canadian singer, pictured in Nova Scotia in March, also candidly discussed the process of ultimately extricating herself from the relationship.
The Canadian singer also candidly discussed the process of ultimately extricating herself from the relationship.
“I think there were moments where I almost had the strength, but again, something held me there, where I thought, ‘Oh, this is the moment,’” the British Columbia-born musician said.
“So I think – I will say, I have remarkable friends. Like I’m very lucky. I have some really, really, really great friends, real childhood friends who have been there for me my whole life. And they just knew what to say to me and knew what was too much or too little.”
Furtado’s advice “to the ladies out there” is that “the people who tell you what you don’t want to hear are the ones you should keep close.” Hopefully they know you well enough not to scare you with judgment or something like that.’
She clarified, “And it’s not a judgment if you, you can feel when it’s love. And I think everyone has someone, you know, maybe one person or one voice in their life that reminds you when things aren’t right and what your value is and what behavior is unacceptable if you can’t see it yourself.”