A former nanny says caring for other people’s children has kept her from having children forever.
Marcela, who has chosen not to share her last name, loved children so much that she worked in childcare for two years, caring for the little ones full-time.
At first the 28-year-old found them cute, fun and easy-going, but over time she became ‘put off’ by the amount of work involved in caring for them.
Instead, Marcela prefers to focus on her dog Jace, who she believes is more than enough for her.
Marcela, 28, always thought she wanted children before taking care of other people’s children as her day job
Since deciding to go childfree, she has acquired a dog, Jace, and a boyfriend who shares her vision of a future together without children.
“I found myself taking care of a baby when I was 22 and continued to take care of the baby until I was 25 when they turned three,” said Marcela from Missouri.
‘I thought to myself, “This is the perfect test to see what motherhood is all about.” Boy, was I right!
‘I loved babysitting, it brought me so much joy and satisfaction, and I thought I was doing a really great job.
‘But it also single-handedly confirmed to me that motherhood was not for me.
‘There were days where it was 5pm and I was more than ready to give the baby up and crawl into bed because I was finding it hard to keep up with him all day.
‘The constant care and vigilance required was too much some days, and at the end of the day my patience was razor thin.
“My eyes opened and I realized, ‘Holy cow, I never want to do this whole mom thing again.’
“My parents were definitely wary and confused at first because of societal expectations and the boomer mentality. But soon they accepted my choice and loved me equally,” she said
Marcela comes from a Spanish Christian family, so she was worried about how things would turn out if she told her family about her life choice.
Fortunately, things went better than she had hoped.
“My parents were definitely wary and confused at first because of societal expectations and the boomer mentality,” she said.
“But soon they accepted my choice and loved me just the same.”
Marcela was previously married but is now in a new relationship with partner Michael, with whom she shares Jace.
“My boyfriend and I talked very early on about never having children and how that dynamic would affect our relationship,” she said.
‘He was on the same page and is also adamant about not having children, so it’s a perfect match.
“We can enjoy slow mornings, worry about our wants and needs, and spend time doing what makes us feel happy and fulfilled—with lots of sleep and naps mixed in.”
“I didn’t fantasize about being a mother one day – in fact, I was afraid of it because I was so far away from the idea that this would be my life one day,” she admitted.
“My biggest piece of advice to those who are in limbo and don’t know which path to take is to live your best life. Not your mother’s, not your best friend’s or your sister’s – yours,’ she declared
Marcela even organizes birthday celebrations for her pooch and says she would do ‘anything’ for him.
Despite facing trolls online, some of whom insist she must feel ‘miserable’ for sharing posts about her decision not to have children, Marcela is firm in her decision and has no regrets.
“The fact that I was able to write a novel about my childfree journey says a lot about the time and conscious thought I put into this decision,” she said.
“Unlike most childfree people, I never had a single moment or event that sparked this journey.
“I just know that the desire to be a mother to a human child has never been there for me. I never played with dolls because I grew up with three older brothers.
‘I didn’t fantasize about becoming a mother one day – in fact I was afraid of it, because I was so far away from the idea that this would one day be my life.
“I couldn’t be more grateful for those few years I worked as a nanny because without those years I might have made the most regrettable mistake of my life by unknowingly having a child to please all the outside voices telling me that I had to do that.
“My biggest piece of advice to those who are in limbo and don’t know which path to take is to live your best life.
“Not your mother’s, not your best friend’s or your sister’s – yours.”