My pregnant friend accused me of ruining her gender reveal surprise by telling my husband she’s having twins – but everyone’s on my side

A woman struggling with grief after several miscarriages has revealed how a friend turned on her for giving away her baby news ahead of a gender reveal party.

The woman, 30, turned to US social website Reddit‘S Am I the e*****e forum to explain that a pregnant friend asked her to make the announcement at her gender reveal party, where she will also surprise guests with the news that she is having twins.

Hearing this, the woman became “emotional” because one of her pregnancy losses was twins, and she decided to tell her husband so that it wouldn’t be a shock to him that day.

But now her friend is mad at her for spilling the secret before the party.

RThe responses were overwhelmingly supportive,

Explaining the background, the woman said there are three couples in her friendship group – and they all know about her two miscarriages – one at 19 weeks and most recently at 9 weeks.

An unnamed woman, 30, took her guilt trip to Reddit’s Am I the a**hole thread after telling her husband, 37, who has suffered several miscarriages with her, about their friends’ big news before the formal announcement – ​​in an attempt to ease his trauma

“During our 6.5 years of marriage, we had many miscarriages,” she said. ‘

‘The first was in 2017 at 19 weeks, the second in 2020 with twins at 8 weeks and 14 weeks and the third in March this year at 9 weeks.

“We informed all our friends via text message that we had a miscarriage and that we need time to heal.”

She said her pregnant friend is 14 weeks pregnant and wants her to make the gender announcement at her party in late October.

She added, “They shared yesterday that they are having twins and want me to keep it a secret until the gender reveal. It hit me hard and made me emotional. On the way home I told my husband they were having twins. I don’t want him to be shocked on gender reveal day.’

However, her friends didn’t seem to understand why she had done this when she told them.

“They accused me of ruining their surprise and said I didn’t take their feelings into account,” she explained.

People rushed to the comments to offer support, with one writing: ‘Firstly, I’m so sorry for your losses. My heart goes out to you and your husband.

“They have shown callous disregard for your feelings.”

Another added: “If you only tell your partner you’re not ‘ruining’ the surprise for anyone other than your partner, and they need to know why this wouldn’t necessarily be a happy surprise for them.”

“A little flexibility on their part to make sure you and your man are in the right headspace isn’t too much to ask.”

Another said: ‘If, given history, they can’t understand how hard it is for you and your husband to keep putting on a happy face and taking responsibility for their parties, and that you can lean on each other for support, then They shouldn’t have asked you for help or told you anything.

“It’s just cruel to rub this in your face. You were fine with telling your husband – I wouldn’t have told them that, though – but in retrospect there’s a 20/20 view: what’s done is done.”

However, one Redditor said the woman “needs to learn to set boundaries and not take people’s babies or plan their parties if they don’t want to.”

And another bluntly said they don’t know why she is still friends with the couple and said she should consider finding new people to hang out with.

“I don’t know why you told them anything. They don’t take you into account,” they wrote.

“Don’t let them walk all over you either.”