My partner of 14 years has left everything to our children in his will but left me out of it – should I be concerned?

A woman has revealed how her partner decided to leave everything to their children in his will and leave her out.

Speaking to British parenting platform Mumsnet, the 50-year-old woman said discovering her partner of 14 years had left her out of his will left her deeply concerned.

She added that they are not married and he is ten years older than her, so she wondered what would happen to her if he died first.

She described the discovery as a “red flag” and asked others what they thought of her predicament.

Many rushed to comment, with some saying he is “totally unreasonable” and that the situation is “bizarre.”

The message read: ‘[Am I being unreasonable] to be annoyed, I’m not a partner, will? We have been together for almost 14 years. We have children. Not married. His house that we lived in. He’s 60, I’m 50.

‘Am I being unreasonable in being irritated now that he is doing his will and his intention is to leave everything to the children?

‘We have a ten year age difference and I wonder what would happen to me if he died before me? He sees it as his stuff so he leaves to whoever he wants, but I think it’s a huge red flag combined with the fact that he clearly hasn’t popped the question either

‘Do I have the feeling that he doesn’t really see us as USA? What do you think?’

One person said: ‘It’s bizarre. How does he expect you to live? If you are unmarried you don’t have many rights, I’m afraid, unless he dies while the children are dependent on you. You need to have a serious conversation and then you need to make plans for your future.”

Another added: “You both need to consult a lawyer, together and separately. If he dropped dead tomorrow, the kids would “own” your house, but you would presumably have to live there as their parent and legal guardian.

“But more seriously, you need to discuss with him why he would be happy to see you homeless after his death (if that happened after the children grew up). That’s a rather insensitive way to think about your partner and the mother of your children.’

Another commenter wrote: ‘I saw last week clients in this exact scenario set up a trust so she could use and enjoy his home for the rest of her life / until she went into a nursing home and upon her death the house passed to his Dd. That’s what normal, decent, unmarried people do.”

Many suggested that the woman should leave her partner because he was ‘cold’ towards her.

One said: ‘Yes, that would be it for me. You have to leave him. At least then you will receive appropriate child support while you arrange your own accommodation. You are a supplier of offspring/household appliances. Now you know for sure that you have to leave.’

Another said: ‘If I were you, I would buy a small apartment or house and rent it out so that when he dies you have somewhere to move. Maybe this is a good time to reevaluate your relationship. He clearly doesn’t think highly of you.’

Meanwhile, someone else wrote: ‘Go away. This tells you everything you need to know about how he feels about you.”

And a fourth said: ‘You really could end up homeless because he doesn’t think about you. Go away and decorate your own house, this man doesn’t respect you.’

The woman revealed that her partner makes her feel like she is being ‘taken’ when she brings up his will.

She said, ‘You’re absolutely right. I’ve been really sleepwalking about this, but I get the feeling of being really grabby and mercenary every time I bring it up.

“There’s a look on his face as if to say, ‘Ah, this is the real reason she’s with me.’ It makes me feel like I shouldn’t even bring it up.’

One person said: ‘Please note that while none of us know exactly what will happen later, you are considerably younger than him and could spend much of your later years caring for him, which could leave you with no money/ can build up a pension. of yourself.

“I am a full-time caregiver for my husband, but everything we have belongs to both of us (and he has added more to the marriage materially). I’m not sure I would make that sacrifice for someone as indifferent to my safety and well-being as your partner seems to be, especially after 2 children and years together.”

Another said: ‘This is ridiculous and no way to maintain an adult relationship. I am surprised that you have children but have not yet reached an agreement on important financial matters.

‘Go to a lawyer now, preferably together, so that he can hear everything.’

Someone else added: “You know where you stand and you can tell what kind of man he is and what he thinks of you.

‘If you don’t want to move (with or without the kids), then you need to stay in the relationship, know what you know, and start thinking about your financial future. You can’t force him to leave anything for you or provide you with any security. The only thing you can do is start saving and investing for yourself.

“Go full-time and then change jobs every two to three years to get promotions and raises. If you are doing more than half of the housework, etc., stop doing it immediately and concentrate on your career.”