My mother wants to CHARGE me to babysit her own grandchild full-time

A disgruntled woman is unimpressed after her mother refused to care for her baby when she returned to work.

Take to Redditthe LA woman explained that her mother, 64, has not worked since she has children of her own and has plenty of free time to babysit her grandchild.

But she initially turned down her daughter’s request for childcare, saying that if she really wants a “traditional” family, she should consider following her lead as a stay-at-home mom.

When the woman explained that she was in debt and couldn’t afford not to work, her mother said she would consider childcare if she was paid $20 an hour, plus late payment fees, and as long as the baby was with her by all means. her home is dropped off. the necessary equipment.

The daughter was furious and said her mother does nothing but cook and watch TV all day, but did not receive much sympathy from commentators.

People labeled her as “entitled” to expect free childcare from her mother and not value her time, while others who were a little more sympathetic said it was fine to ask her mother the question, but there was no expectation of the older woman.

The daughter outlined the situation and said she has asked her mother, who has not been part of the workforce since 1992, to look after her child when she returns to work.

“She refused, saying she is too old and she has already raised her children,” the woman explained.

She also added that if I really wanted this baby, maybe I should have thought about staying home like she did to take care of it while my partner goes to work and cares for us like a “traditional” family , and that if they If my father managed to solve it, so can we.’

However, this is not an option due to the daughter’s financial situation.

“I make $55,000 a year but have $39,000 in student loans and $20,000 in other debt (credit card, car loan, medical debt on credit).

“My partner makes about $36,000 and has $5,000 in credit card debt.”

She said she has a duty to return to work as the top earner to keep the family afloat.

“We are currently in a small one-bedroom apartment in a metropolitan area and should be saving money to move into a two-bedroom apartment once the baby grows up in a few years because we need more space,” she explained.

However, her mother was not sympathetic and said that if she is going to take care of the baby, she wants to get paid.

“She’ll charge me $20 an hour for every hour she takes care of the baby, plus late fees if we’re late for pick up, and have to provide her with a car seat, stroller, bottles, and all that.” a little bit double of everything we have with us. home to compensate for taking the baby to her house.

“She won’t set foot in my house for her own personal reasons (she came in once and I’ve lived with my partner for 5 years; she’s 15 minutes away).”

She continued, “I want to save money to reduce our debt, and I don’t want to pay her that much, nor invest that much in doubling everything, because it will lead to more debt for me and my partner.”

So, am I the ****** because I want my mother, who is home all day again (trust me, she does nothing but watch TV and cook dinner), take care of my baby for free while me and my partner try to get our finances in order?’

Commentators didn’t have much sympathy for the new mother, saying her expectations were unfair.

‘Perfectly legitimate attitude. Grandma raised her children and is not obligated to daughter to raise hers,” one person wrote.

Others said they could understand why a woman in her 60s would be reluctant to care for a young baby full time.

“It’s also just extremely difficult to take care of young, energetic kids at that age,” one said. “My mother is younger and is constantly exhausted after watching her grandchildren, and she doesn’t do it full time.

“She has fibro and arthritis, so it’s not at all the same as when she was in her twenties with her own kids.”

Another said their own mother loves taking care of her grandson who was conceived after years of fertility struggles.

“She LOVES being around him,” they wrote. “But retired or not, she has things she likes to do. She’d certainly stand her ground if they expected her to watch him for free every week, five days a week.”

Others said the couple should have sorted out their finances before starting a family if they are struggling with debt.

“Man has to work until he pays off his credit card debt,” someone argued. “Which honestly should have been taken care of long before they decided to have a child, more so than any other debt or expense to their name.”

“She’s deeply in debt, and they both have moderate to low paying jobs,” another chimed in. That said, it’s ridiculous to expect a mom to spend her time raising a baby. She already said no.’

Another woman who has chosen not to have children gave a “blunt” assessment, saying, “When I was younger I used to say if I can’t raise a kid until college, I shouldn’t have one.” Now I just don’t want to involve anyone in this usually awful word.

“The original poster really should have thought about all those things before getting pregnant. There are so many options for contraception, it is very irresponsible not to use them.’

Others were a little more sympathetic and said there was nothing wrong with asking her mother for help, but added that her response was wrong.

“You are not the a*****e to ask,” one wrote. ‘You are the a*****e for your reaction to her saying no!

“It is the responsibility of no one but you and your husband to take care of this child, you can’t just volunteer your mom because you feel like she’s not doing anything, that’s why she can work 8+ hours a day, 5 days a take care of your child for free.

“You and your husband will have to sit down and look at your finances and find a way to make ends meet. Maybe moving to a less urban area could help save some $$.’