My innocent symptoms were written off as ‘normal pregnancy pains’ – but what happened next turned into the most traumatic experience of my life

Maria Henderson had always wanted to be a mother.

The 34-year-old grew up with five siblings in Margaret River, Western Australia, and dreamed of one day starting her own family.

Her wish came true in 2017, when Maria and now-husband Ash were thrilled to announce to the world that they were expecting their first child together.

But 16 weeks into the pregnancy, Maria began to experience ‘intense’ cramps and ‘gnawing pains’.

She ignored it at first, thinking the cramps weren’t a big deal because other moms told her it’s just “what happens when you’re pregnant.”

“I woke up in the middle of the night with terrible pain and my water broke. It was an instant shock and then adrenaline,” Maria, now 40, told FEMAIL.

What led was a ‘traumatic’ miscarriage in the hospital that shook her heart.

“It was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me and I was terrified at the thought of getting pregnant again.”

Maria’s partner is a FIFO employee and they have no family nearby.

“I drove myself to the local hospital because Ash was away,” she recalls.

“It’s the weirdest feeling — you don’t know what’s going on, you just hope for the best and think this should work out.

“I lay down on the hospital bed, the nurse started an examination and started pressing on my stomach…then I started to see a pool of blood everywhere. It was like something out of a horror movie.’

Unfortunately, her worst fear had come true and the little one had sadly passed away.

Maria described the experience as “intense” and “terrible,” especially since she was alone during the ordeal.

“Leaving the hospital without the baby while still looking pregnant was one of the hardest parts of it all. I messaged Ash to let him know what happened and a friend took me home,” she said.

Ash flew straight home from work, and for the next few months, the two felt “so vulnerable.”

Maria said, “We just cried and cried.”

It took Maria 12 months to grieve the loss of what would have been her first child and seeing other women with their children, prams or cribs would remind her of what would have been.

She often found it difficult to leave the house with her shoulders ‘bowed’ and wanted to be with Ash all the time because he made her feel ‘safe’.

“I gave everything to get through the difficult days. It was quite an isolating experience and I sort of went into survival mode,” she said.

“Part of my healing process was crying in the shower and then putting on some nice pajamas.”

It was this simple ritual of cleansing and dressing that helped Maria get her life back on track.

Although the thought of getting pregnant again was “terrifying” at first, Maria became pregnant the following year and gave birth to a baby boy by emergency caesarean section at 42 weeks.

A few years later, she became pregnant and gave birth to her daughter, Mila, now three.

“I said to myself, ‘whatever will be’. But I was still so worried all through the pregnancy,” she said.

Perhaps a silver lining to the experience as a whole was the development of Maria’s small pajama business, which grew out of her “vow” to help other women get ahead.

“Going through something so horrible made me feel so numb. But pajamas made me feel so beautiful and feminine. They felt so soft on my skin and made me feel good when I looked in the mirror,” she said.

“And I realized that I want other women to feel good about themselves too, simply by wearing pajamas.”

Maria launched The Vow Sleepwear in November 2020 and since then the hobby has grown into a small business selling stylish pajamas at affordable prices.

This year also saw the company win the 2023 Australia Post Local Hero award, which Maria said was ‘an honour’.

Within four hours, the brand sold $5,000 worth of product, marking its largest sale to date.

The stay-at-home mother operates the brand entirely from home while the children are asleep or at school or daycare.

“It’s a real dream come true and I’m so proud of it,” she said.

For support with miscarriage, stillbirth and death of newborns 24/7, you can call SANDS on 1300 072 637.

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