My husband always flies first class but makes me sit in economy – people say I should divorce him

A woman has sparked debate online after revealing that when she travels with her family, her husband flies first class, resulting in her and the kids flying economy class.

The revelation, which the woman living in the US shared in the New York Times newsletter The ethicistin which philosopher Kwame Anthony Appiah gives readers advice on their dilemmas.

According to the letter, “the husband always pays for, or is upgraded to, the first class cabin,” leaving the children in economy or economy plus.

She admitted that when the family flew to Paris on an overnight flight, he justified his own upgrade by saying the kids (12 and 16) “could only feel if [she] would travel in with him first and leave them in the back cabin, which she described as “unfair.”

She continued, saying the kids wouldn’t mind if they were in economy class while the parents fly together in first class, but she doesn’t know if that would be unfair to them.

The woman concluded her letter by suggesting that her husband solve the problem by taking different flights so that she “doesn’t feel bad about the inequality,” which she describes as “the inherent selfishness in his thinking.”

She wrote, ‘Am I wrong? We’re happy to travel and love to go places together, but it’s still very strange.’

In response to the letter, Kwame wrote that “a modern marriage is meant to be a pair of equals, in which each partner treats the other with respect, consideration and dignity.”

He added that in marriage, both parties should have a say in important decisions, taking into account the other’s comfort and preferences.

But, he continued, the husband seems to have “a different opinion,” noting that he “thinks that because he’s the ticket-buyer in the family, his own preferences take precedence.”

Finally, he suggested that “creating more equality” could be the answer, by letting the adults take turns flying at the front.

A number of readers seemed shocked by the dilemma, and many took to Twitter to share their reactions.

One wrote: “This is grounds for immediate divorce.”

A number of readers took to Twitter to share their reactions to the letter, saying they felt the husband was behaving unfairly

Another agreed, adding, “I don’t even need to read it. Parting!’

And a third added, “I thought this was going to be bad when I read it…it’s much worse than I imagined.”

A fourth said: ‘This is an extreme example of the imbalanced dynamics that still exist. Not for everyone, but it’s still there… little things like men’s expectation that somehow the dishes will always be clean, food will always just *poof* appear, food will just be ready in a board… magic.”

And a fifth commented: ‘Flight attendants see it happen every day and find it reprehensible. I’ve often publicly ‘suggested’ these types of men that it would be the right choice to offer his first class seat to his wife or simply decline the upgrade so that he can still sit with her.’

Others, however, took a different approach, criticizing the woman for saying she would like to fly first class while leaving the kids in the economy.

Others took to Twitter to share a different perspective, with one calling the woman selfish and others suggesting other solutions to the problem.

One of them wrote, “All comments are sympathetic to her if she would gladly go with him and leave the kids on the bus. She’s as selfish as he is, zero compassion.’

Meanwhile, others suggested solutions to the dilemma, with some saying the couple could take turns sitting where they sit.

One Twitter user said, “If you can’t afford first class for both tickets, get a bus.” But if one of you gets an upgrade, take it and hope it happens again so you can switch.”

And another agreed, writing, “What if the parents switched mid-flight so that one parent is always with the kids?”

Meanwhile, another suggested, “No upgrades – he’s in economics.”