My daughter’s 12-year-old friend overstays her welcome and uses my expensive shampoo when she sleeps over – should I confront her mother?

A mother has complained that her daughter’s friend overstays her welcome and uses expensive beauty products when she is invited.

Towards the British parenting platform Mothernetthe anonymous woman explained that she feeds the 12-year-old, cares for her and often sleeps over her.

However, she said the arrangement started to bother her after she found out her mother was in town for a date one time when the child slept over.

When the girl’s mother finally came to pick up her daughter, she stayed in the car instead of thanking the family for caring for her child all weekend.

When she asked others for their thoughts on her predicament, many agreed that the mother was out of line. But when it came to the 12-year-old, many of them expressed their condolences, saying no one can know what goes on in the nursery. home life.

The woman explained: ‘My 12-year-old has a school boyfriend. This girl often comes home from school with (my daughter) and I feed her, take care of her, she sleeps here etc. when her mother is ‘busy’.

‘She’s a nice guy, but sometimes she has a lack of respect. She calls me her second mother, which is slightly strange but somewhat endearing.

“That’s probably why I dropped some of her behavior. For example, she decides she needs to take a shower and goes to my bathroom and treats herself to my very expensive shampoo and conditioner.

“She takes them back to (my daughter’s) bathroom, where she leaves them on the floor with her wet towels after use. Apparently the shampoo and conditioner I give my own daughter are not good enough for her hair type.

‘Anyway. Friday after school my (daughter) calls. Can her friend come over? Okay I say. They show up just before dinner… and this boy has been here ever since.

“She left about ten minutes ago after announcing, ‘I’m going!’ My mother is sitting outside in the car. We’re going out for dinner, bye!”

“Then she trots out the front door, wearing my daughter’s hoodie, socks and slippers. I doubt I’ll see it again. I asked (my daughter) if she was also invited to dinner. She wasn’t.

‘This bothers me, and I’ll tell you why. Friday night she tells me her mother is on a date in town. (My partner) and I exchanged a look.

On British parenting platform Mumsnet, she explained that she feeds the 12-year-old, takes care of her and sleeps a lot in their house.

“So we’re both aware that her mother is away with a new guy so she needs childcare and that’s why we sent her child here.

‘Early on Saturday the girls ask if they can go out and ask for money for food and drinks. I’m sending £20 to this girl’s account because (my daughter) doesn’t have a bank card yet and I didn’t want to hand over mine.

‘They go to the garden of a local, very reasonably priced pub chain for a coke and a pizza before meeting friends in the park.’

She continues, “My daughter calls later to ask for a ride home. I say no, it’s still light and you’re a ten minute walk away, see you soon.

She talks about their evening and says they asked her friend’s mother for a ride to ours but she was ‘too drunk.’ When they arrived at the pub, she was apparently already there drinking.

‘Am I unreasonable to think that if you hand your child over to someone else for the whole weekend so you can go to the pub and go on dates, and you are well aware that someone else has given your daughter money ? If you’re going out to eat, the least you can do is get out of your car, come to the door and say thank you for having my kid all weekend.

People left their own thoughts on the situation in the comments, with some saying the mother is a “doormat.”

‘And if you want to take your child out to dinner afterwards, that’s fine. But don’t tell your DD about this plan until you’re far away from the house you left all weekend.’

In response to the post, people left their own thoughts on the situation in the comments, with some saying the mother is a “doormat.”

One person wrote: ‘Why on earth do you let yourself and your daughter be treated like this?’

Another said: ‘The other mother is (cheeky) but I don’t understand why you allow this behavior? It’s your house, don’t let her use shampoo or take the clothes.”

While someone else wrote: ‘Stop being such a doormat and don’t let your daughter be either.’

However, others blamed the child’s mother as some said she sounded like she could be an alcoholic.

However, others blamed the child’s mother as some said she sounds like an ‘alcoholic’

The original poster read: ‘I’m going to talk to the mother and tell her what I think.

One person wrote: ‘Before I even got to the point about her being drunk my ‘alcoholic parent radar’ went off.

“Yes, the girl seems a little too comfortable and disrespectful at your place, but I bet she’s escaping to yours from a chaotic home life.”

Another said, “OP, you sound like a saint and probably the only stability this kid has in her life.

“No doubt her mother is brutal, but the child will forever be grateful to you for raising her.”

Someone else said: ‘She’s obviously (cheeky) and so is the daughter.

‘However, you are really doing this for your (daughter) – if she is happy with this arrangement I would bite my tongue.

‘I would start setting some boundaries (like not going in my bathroom!).’

The original poster read: ‘I’m going to talk to the mother and tell her what I think.

‘I also asked my daughter how she feels about her friend being here all weekend and so often. She said she’s her best friend, of course she likes her here.

“As for the ‘loan’ clothes, I’m making a list of the items that haven’t been returned yet and I’ll give them to the mother when I say something.

‘There’s no way I’m just going to cut this boy off. She is sweet and kind. She is also very small, which makes me feel like she might be more vulnerable than she actually is.

“But she tells me she loves me and she made me a Mother’s Day card etc., so I think she’s crying out for a mother figure.”

‘Yes, she is a naughty lady, who, for example, takes my things herself, but I care about her very much.’