My brother cheated on his wife – I don’t want him to bring his mistress and her child to Thanksgiving dinner
- The woman’s brother, 48, left his wife and their two children in May 2022
- The family has hardly spoken to him since the affair
- Their mother invited him to dinner, much to his sister’s dismay
The sister of a man who abruptly left his wife after 17 years of marriage says she is in the middle of a family drama after he wants to bring his mistress and her child to Thanksgiving dinner.
Posting on Reddit, the woman shared her brother, who had an affair, left his wife of 17 years and their two children for his mistress in May 2022.
“Since we learned of the affair, we have all spent a lot of time and effort supporting his children and have generally not been in contact,” the original poster wrote.
Their mother invited him and his two children to her home for Thanksgiving, but now he has revealed plans to bring his mistress and her child.
The Reddit user believes it’s “too early” for her brother to bring his mistress to family gatherings and has asked for advice on whether she’s an asshole for not wanting the woman there.
Woman doesn’t want her brother to bring his mistress and her child to their Thanksgiving dinner because she feels it’s ‘too early’ for him to include her in family gatherings
Although he plans to make an appearance on Thanksgiving, the Reddit poster noted that he initially declined their mother’s dinner invitation.
“She wanted to arrange when to pick up his kids (his day with them) so they could be there and he said ‘we’ll see,'” the user explained.
Their mother assumed he and his children were not going to eat, but two days later told her to expect him, his two children from his previous marriage, and his mistress and her child.
The Reddit user wrote that her family didn’t invite her brother’s mistress, but they also didn’t officially exclude her from their dinner invitation.
She explained, “My mother’s primary concern with uninvitingly placing restrictions on my brother is that he will retaliate with denying her time with his children.”
“She is convinced he will keep my niece and nephew from coming to Thanksgiving and that he will blame my parents, me and my siblings.”
The brother’s mistress and her child were not invited to the Thanksgiving dinner, but the family did not say that she and the child could not attend. Their mother fears that if she tells her son that his mistress is gone and her child cannot go, he will ensure that his other children will not see her.
The Reddit user has explained herself more clearly to some commenters, who have said that she’s not the asshole for not wanting her husband’s mistress and her child there.
One person wrote: Why doesn’t your mother have a better relationship with your ex-SIL (sister-in-law) to see the kids? Her excuse is a bit weak without more background on this.
The original poster replied, “I think my mom makes a lot of these decisions out of fear and not necessarily reality.”
“He has the kids for Thanksgiving; she thinks that if we rebel against him, he won’t let the children come. To be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he did this and my niece and nephew would be very upset.”
Another person suggested that the family invite his ex-wife and that she should know that the family loved and supported her and her children.
The woman replied, “This is what my father wants to do. We are all still on good terms with his ex-wife. Bless her heart, she still wants my brother to have a good relationship with us and doesn’t want to come if there’s a possibility he could come.”
The woman who made the Reddit post yesterday responded to several people who gave their opinions and questions about the family matter
A Reddit user who thinks the woman isn’t the asshole and offered suggestions on how to better handle the situation.
“Instead of forcing her hand in withdrawing the invitation from him, have you thought about maybe just letting her know that you’re not comfortable and you won’t be attending this year,” the user suggested.
They continued by telling the woman to tell her other siblings that she will not attend Thanksgiving dinner if their brother brings his mistress and her child.
“You don’t have to spend your moments with someone you don’t know or don’t want to spend time with,” they wrote.
They added, “Maybe you can contact your ex-sister-in-law and see them that way if the brother keeps you away from them during his time.”
“Just because you’re biologically related doesn’t mean you have to have someone in your life you don’t want.”