A woman has revealed her best friend stopped talking to her after advising her to ‘shave’ so she could look more attractive to men.
The 29-year-old went to the American forum Reddit to seek advice on how to rekindle her friendship with her ‘amazing’ friend ‘Emily’, 32, who she said refused to shave in ‘protest against the patriarchy’. She added that her friend had stopped shaving years ago, resulting in the growth of “very long dark hair” over her legs, armpits and “feminine areas.”
Fast forward to a few days ago, while the pair were catching up over a few beers, her best friend revealed how “sad” dating had made her and that men rarely asked for a second date.
To remedy the situation, the poster suggested her friend “shave” her body hair, after which the friend accused her of being the reason why women are “oppressed.” Although she later apologized, she has since been met with a wall of silence.
The story convinced many, with some saying her advice was “correct” while others sided with her best friend. She explained, “My girlfriend, let’s call her. Emily is a wonderful person.
A woman who advised her boyfriend to ‘shave’ so she could finally get a boyfriend says the boyfriend has stopped talking to her (Image: stock photo of warring friends)
‘She’s fun, adventurous, intelligent, super active, a fantastic cook, outgoing and just a great girl to be around.
‘A few years ago she decided to stop shaving (legs, armpits, lady parts) in protest against the patriarchy, and as a result she has very long dark hair everywhere.
‘A few days ago we were having a beer and she was telling me how sad her dating life was, how she kept meeting guys and going on really nice dates but never getting any callbacks.
“Or when she tried to ask for a second or third date, she was rejected in a very general way.”
The woman said she first tried to compliment her friend before “coming out” to give the controversial advice.
She continued, “After telling her several times, ‘You’re so beautiful and amazing, the right man will come, don’t worry,’ I decided to go out.
“I said something like, ‘I know this is a very superficial thing to say, but do you think it would help a little if you shaved?’
‘She was very surprised and told me she was disappointed. I would suggest that she change her appearance for men and that I was the reason so many women were oppressed.
The 29-year-old took to US forum Reddit to ask for advice on how to rekindle her friendship with her ‘amazing’ friend ‘Emily’, 32, who she said refused to shave in ‘protest against patriarchy’.
‘I immediately apologized, but the evening was as good as ruined. I texted her the next day apologizing again for hurting her, but she didn’t reply.”
The woman seemed genuinely saddened by the matter and stated that she never intended to deliberately “hurt” her friend.
However, she also sought advice on how to phrase her next apology, as she didn’t consider the comment “that bad.”
Nearly 7,000 comments poured in, with users eager to weigh in on the sensitive topic.
One person stated that it is as much a woman’s right not to shave as it is a man’s right to find it “gross.” They explained: ‘She has the right not to shave, and the men she dates have the right to think it’s dirty. People are attracted to what they are attracted to. That’s just the reality. If she wants a guy who doesn’t mind her not shaving, that will be a much smaller percentage of the male dating pool and it will be harder for her to find a partner.
“If she asked for your advice and you tried to help her, then you’re not the asshole. Especially since you’re probably right and the hair is the reason the guys don’t stay. I think it’s stupid that she’s mad at you for just stating the obvious truth.
Edit to add: After thinking about this more, I think that yes, the guys don’t like the hair, but the fact that she has it is probably really a symptom of her personality and outlook on life and general opinions, and those things are probably the even bigger turn off for these guys.
They concluded: ‘And I will also now add (as some people assume things) that I am not saying that the men are right to have this opinion of her, or that I agree with that opinion. I’m just pointing out that, based on my lifelong observations of guys, a general/average aversion to that kind of stance (“I don’t shave to fight the patriarchy”) may be the reason some guys don’t stay. You may not like that, but that is the reality we live in. There are guys who won’t feel that way, and that’s who would probably prefer them.”
One person stood behind the poster and said, “You just suggested the reason why she might be having trouble dating. You’re probably right too.
‘Of course she is free to do whatever she wants with her body and they may not cater to others’ preferences, which means they may not want to date her. This may mean they miss out on a great person for superficial reasons, but that is a choice they are free to make.”
Meanwhile, one woman explained that “leg and arm hair” wasn’t getting in the way of her “loving relationship” and advised the poster to be more “supportive”: “I have leg and arm hair, and I’m in a loving relationship.” . relationship with a man who holds me while he sleeps.
“If I had listened to you, I would have made myself uncomfortable in front of someone who didn’t care one way or the other. What would have been more supportive would have been to say, “You will find someone who is perfect for you, just keep working on yourself and the rest will fall into place.”
She definitely wasn’t asking for advice, just wanted some emotional support from a friend. The world is trying to pressure women to conform to shaving, and I’m sure it hurts to hear a friend trying to do the same.”