Nicole Austin spent 130 days in the NICU for her little premature daughter Bowie to survive.
And two weeks after they came home, the new mom was devastated when she suffered a brutal blow herself: she was diagnosed with late-stage cervical cancer.
The signs were already there — fatigue, nausea, weight loss — but the mother-of-two and her wife Kristy dismissed them as side effects of having a newborn in the hospital.
Speaking to FEMAIL, Nicole said the Sydney family, including their toddler Liv, came home on Dec. 20, ready to close the door on the scariest period of their lives.
They were overjoyed to be out of the hospital just in time for Christmas after four months, even if it meant negotiating motherhood with an oxygen tank to hand.
“We were also pretty nervous about leaving the hospital because we had relied so much on the doctors and nurses, and coming home with a baby that needs oxygen is pretty scary,” she said.
Nicole Austin, pictured with her daughter Bowie, was diagnosed with cancer two weeks after spending 130 days in hospital with her newborn, wanting her to live
The mother, pictured with wife Kristy, toddler Liv and newborn Bowie, had gastrointestinal symptoms eight days after the family returned home from the hospital.
“It was a huge day for us, we were so excited to spend the holidays together.”
But fate wasn’t done with the family, and on December 28, it was Nicole’s turn to go to the hospital after suffering from an upset stomach that she just couldn’t shake.
“It was accompanied by an enormous amount of pain that I can only describe as pressure in my lower abdomen,” she said.
The family had just celebrated Christmas and were out of hospital when their lives turned upside down again – her ‘gastro’ symptoms exploded on December 28
“Liv handed me a doll, sort of threw it on my stomach, and I went through the roof,” she said.
The pain was unbearable and since the rest of the family had no stomach, she decided to try.
“I thought if it wasn’t gastro it must be some kind of parasite or something,” she said.
But the doctors decided to give her an ultrasound just in case, and on January 4, a tumor was found on her liver.
“The technician said I couldn’t go home and needed a CT scan, and then they found the tumors in my lungs and ovaries,” she said.
Nicole struggled with pregnancy from the 20th week when doctors discovered she had a shortened cervix
At that moment, Nicole knew something was wrong, but she hadn’t even thought about cancer.
“The imaging people told me to go straight to my doctor. I asked if my wife could go to work that afternoon and they said no,” she said.
Feeling anxious, the 38-year-old went to the doctor while her partner stayed with their children.
“He said, ‘There’s no easy way to say this, you have cancer,’ I was just shocked and cried all the way home,” she said.
“I don’t really remember that night, but I know I walked into the house and Kristy knew right away it was really bad. I told her and we just held each other.”
Their baby daughter was born six days after Nicole’s water broke at 22 weeks and five days
The cancer, a squamous cell carcinoma from the cervical region, started growing less than nine months before it showed up on the scans.
“It all happened so fast, they can’t tell me when it started growing, but they do know it wasn’t there nine months ago.
They know this because Bowie was conceived using IVF, which is an invasive process and a tumor would have been seen in that area.
It would also have been picked up later, since the mother was under the microscope from the 20th week.
“During my 20 week scan I was diagnosed with a short cervix so I was referred to the Royal Hospital for Women in Sydney,” she said.
At 22 weeks and five days, Nicole’s waters broke and she received the terrible news that the pregnancy was not yet viable.
Nicole, who has always led an active life, is terrified of her partner Kristy, who has left
“It’s only when something like this happens that you realize how important it is to count by the day,” she said.
Everyone worked hard to keep the baby inside, giving her a better chance of survival every day.
“I was naive at the time thinking you’d go into labor when your waters broke, but we kept her indoors for another six days,” she said.
“The professor explained that miracles don’t happen at midnight, she needed every minute inside,” she said.
Bowie came in September and all of Nicole and Kristy’s energy went into taking care of their toddler and keeping their baby alive.
In retrospect, Nicole said she should have realized something was wrong in November, but then everyone was focused on Bowie.
She is also devastated that she may not be able to see her daughters grow up or “put her mark” on them.
“I was lethargic and had night sweats, and then I started losing weight,” she said.
Doctors have not told Nicole that she is terminal, but they have explained that there is no cure for her illness.
They prescribed 18 weeks of chemo and told her they can “re-evaluate” it once it’s done.
“I’m fine for a day or two and then I’m very nauseous, and then on day four I’m flattened out with fatigue for a few days. I’m not very helpful,” she said.
“By day seven, I’m able to be a contributing member of the household again, but the nausea lingers. It can linger all the time.”
She is at the point where eating becomes difficult, but is aware that she needs to maintain her current weight of at least 100 pounds and gain some weight if possible.
“My liver is so enlarged from the tumors that it’s starting to push against my stomach, so when I eat and my stomach gets bigger, it’s very painful,” she said.
Nicole can be halfway through a sandwich and get a jolt of extreme pain.
She feels positive about the chemo and her body’s ability to fight the disease so she can spend more time with her family.
But that doesn’t mean she isn’t scared.
Her fear is for her family.
Nicole is now undergoing chemo – which she receives every three weeks, in the hopes of shrinking the fast-growing tumors
“I can’t stop thinking about Kristy, who will be left as a single mother to these two kids.” she said.
“And that they will grow up without me there to make my mark,” she added.
She is sad for herself.
“You never think it will happen to you, and I try not to complain, I try to stay positive, but there’s that little voice that says it’s just unfair,” she said.
“I want to see my girls grow up, I want to be there for Kristy.”
It also breaks her heart that she doesn’t have as much energy as she used to.
“I can’t lift Liv, and Bowie squirms a lot, so I don’t feel safe holding her that much,” she said.
“It’s also really hard to hear Liv ask if I’m off to sleep again, because she’s starting to understand I’m sick.”
Nicole and Kristy have taken long service, maternity and sick leave to be there for Bowie, and now to stay together as a family.
Nicole and Kristy have taken long service, maternity and sick leave to be there for Bowie, and now to stay together as a family unit
One of their friends has started a fundraiser to help them get by when their income streams finally run out.
Nicole hopes she’ll be back to work soon, but there’s no guarantee.
The mother wants other women to recognize the signs and to go to the doctor as soon as something is not right.
She regrets putting her own health aside, even though she didn’t realize it at the time.
“I was lucky, the doctors noticed right away. But if you think there’s something wrong and they’re inconsistent, because I’ve met people with devastating stories of being ignored when they knew something was wrong,” she said.