Mum sparks debate after admitting she puts her 3-month-old baby to bed at midnight

A parent has sparked a debate after admitting to putting her three-month-old baby to bed at midnight.

The unnamed woman took to the UK parenting forum Mumsnet to gather opinions on the controversial topic, claiming to be “baffled” as to why people put their kids to bed earlier.

She revealed that her baby goes to bed at midnight and doesn’t wake up until 8am as a result and she said other parents “seem to be at their wit’s end” as they “force” their kids to sleep when they don’t want to.

Commentators shared their view with many saying babies need “a structured routine,” while others argued most couples want adult time in the evening.”

More people suggested that the poster just “got lucky with a dream newborn” who sleeps eight hours straight.

The original post explained, “So 100 percent appreciate that all kids are different, but I’m constantly amazed that people put their kids to bed at 6:30 or thereabouts and then complain about being woken up.” Of course they wake up – they’ve slept for hours and they’re hungry.

‘My 3 month old son goes to bed with us (has taken several naps throughout the day) around midnight and doesn’t wake up until 8am. I appreciate that I am very lucky that he sleeps the full 8, but if I put him to bed at 6am, he would be up at 2am and wide awake for hours.

‘I work full time and take the morning feeds while DP is on mat leave doing the days. Our fatigue extends to having a whole person to take care of on top of what we did before, and having no family or additional paid support, but no sleep deprivation.

“Obviously some people have other commitments (night shifts etc.) and some kids just aren’t sleeping, but many of the new parents I know in similar circumstances to me seem at their wits’ end because, as far as I know, they bring their baby to bed too early! It often sounds like they’re forcing it too, like the baby won’t sleep after all. Confused!’

The suggestion that the parent should give her little baby a structured routine while they are young has many rushed to the comments.

One person wrote, ‘It’s because you need to give them a structured routine from 3 months on that they can follow as they get older.

“We started putting DS to bed at 8pm from 3 months. Yes he woke up often but as he got older it got easier and by 5 months he was sleeping from 8-8 with only one feeding at midnight.’

Another said: ‘Aside from everything else, enough evidence that putting kids to bed earlier makes them sleep longer. The best quality sleep happens before midnight.”

While someone else wrote, “Seriously? Ok I have 4 now all adults/teens and all but number 1 (I learned from my mistakes) they all slept 10 to 12 hours every night reliably without waking up from 8 to 12 weeks old so I know what I’m talking about. .

“I suggest you take some advice from more experienced parents. Your child should be put into a routine of baths, stories, milk, bed and wake up as soon as possible. I sound like my mother now, but you make a fishing rod for your own back!

“And maybe don’t try to lecture everyone based on 3 months of experience.”

More people suggested putting their toddlers to sleep early because they want baby time as a couple.

One person said, “Also because some couples actually enjoy a night without kids…even if they wake up past midnight.” Horses for courses. We’ve always preferred to put ours to bed at 7 p.m.’

Another wrote, “Because people want adult time in the evening, and also because it’s best to start a bedtime routine early so it doesn’t become a problem as they get older.”

Others suggested that the woman shouldn’t “count her chickens” too quickly, as her baby may not always be sleeping through the night.

One person said, ‘This made me laugh OP. Wait a few years before making suggestions.

“I put my kids to sleep at 8, now at 4 and 7, but I remember major sleep disturbances at 3 months and again at 9 months.”

Another said, “You’re 3 months into a unicorn baby who sleeps 8 solid hours a night… I sincerely hope you’re not counting all your chickens at this point because chances are that’s still the case in a few months is very unlikely.

“Your experience is different from about 99% of other parents’ experiences and you’d be crazy to think you knew best just because you got lucky with a dream newborn.” The other parents do what works for them, you don’t have to be so judgmental.’

Other parents seemed to agree with the original poster, admitting that putting a baby to sleep later will help them sleep through the night.

One person wrote, “I agree with OP. My baby went to bed when we did and slept through until 8am. For the past week only, they now go to bed from 7-7:30.

“The baby group parents who put their baby to sleep at 6pm and then are perplexed that they don’t stay there until 6:30am baffled me. If they just put their baby to bed a few hours later, I think they’re more likely to sleep through the night.’

Another said: ‘I totally agree – it has always baffled me and seemed completely strange!

“As someone who spent a lot of time in both Europe and Asia, where kids generally wake up later with the adults, I’ve always found it odd. A woman I know puts her kids (including her now 8-year-old) to bed at 6:30am and then constantly wonders why he’s up at 4:30am!”

While someone else wrote: ‘Ah OP! You get a spot in this thread right away, and maybe with only 3 months of parenting experience you still have some lessons to learn. But I actually agree with you (and I have much more than 3 months of experience!)

“If it helps anything, I think it’s often a trade-off between losing our adult time in the evening but staying in bed a little longer in the morning or getting your kids to bed earlier but knowing you’re up early in the night.” will be morning.

“I think we make that choice as parents based on our own preferences, but this is also dictated by genetics to some degree, so if parents are late risers they are more likely to have children who are also…. (and before anyone jumps on me, I know there are plenty of exceptions to that rule!)’