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An Australian mother has been forced to defend her unusual parenting rules after she banned prams, high chairs, childcare and even shoes.
Alex Tucker, 25, has introduced several ‘controversial’ rules for raising her toddlers, Berkley, two, and Freya, one, to fit in with their rural setting on the Hawkesbury River, in New South Wales.
The toddlers don’t use high chairs or strollers, but participate in five-mile walks, and she doesn’t enforce structured play or sign up for weekly commitments such as a play group.
Her kids don’t go to daycare with Alex who chooses to either take them to work on the boat with her and her boyfriend Paul, or they just don’t go to work.
Alex Tucker, 25, has introduced several ‘controversial’ rules for raising her toddlers, Berkley, two, and Freya, one, to fit in with their rural setting on the Hawkesbury River, in New South Wales.
The rural mother refuses to teach her children to swim, despite living on the water, and the children don’t even wear shoes, but roam freely barefoot.
After sharing her rules online, Alex received a lot of criticism from other parents, saying that social services should be called.
But she’s been defending her rules ever since.
She said that shoes distort the shape of the feet and that prams and high chairs are not essential to their way of life.
She defended her choice not to give them swimming lessons and said they would encourage her children who were afraid of water to swim in dangerous waters.
‘I’m not bothered by people who don’t agree with my ‘controversial’ rules. Mothers are criticized no matter what they do, especially online,” says Alex, who works in the fishery.
After sharing her rules online, Alex received a lot of criticism from other parents, saying that social services should be called
She defended her choice not to give them swimming lessons and said they would encourage her children who were afraid of water to swim in dangerous waters
That’s why it’s important to share the ‘controversial’ stuff. I open up the conversation for anyone to start thinking outside the box before criticizing someone’s upbringing if they don’t know how different someone’s lifestyle can be.
“I don’t preach my manners and this isn’t a how-to guide. This is what works for our family.”
Alex’s kids roam barefoot on the beach, on the sidewalk, and even on their family walks, but the mother insists it’s better for her kids to go shoeless.
“It shocked me that that was a big deal for a lot of people,” she said.
‘In Australia it is quite normal not to wear shoes unless you are in the shop, at school or at work.
“Even if you come from a coastal town like us, it’s normal not to wear shoes in the shops, and if you work on boats, it’s also common not to wear shoes. .
Alex’s kids roam barefoot on the beach, on the sidewalk, and even on their family walks, but the mom insists it’s better for her kids to go shoeless
‘A major factor in this is muscle and joint development. It’s no secret that shoes change posture and foot shape, so I understand why their natural development is disrupted when shoes aren’t usually needed.
“Shoes serve a purpose, such as when the ground is too hot or too cold, or when snakes and wildlife pose a serious threat, or when something hurts to walk on.
“For the most part, they’re just not things that we deal with in our daily lives, so the kids don’t wear shoes.
‘If you don’t wear shoes, your feet often get hard. You do learn how to walk on rough surfaces, and as a small Aussie coastal town, that’s just our way of life.’
Alex’s friend Paul owns a fishing business and Alex, who has experience as a fisherman and commercial captain, often helps out on the boat when he needs extra crew members.
The couple usually take their kids to work, and Paul only has them when Alex is needed to help out on another boat.
If the weather conditions are too bad for the kids to join Paul on the boat and Alex is busy, the dad will miss his workday altogether instead of sending their kids to daycare.
“We’re a rural family working in primary production – I’m forced to be a stay-at-home mom like most rural moms,” Alex said.
The couple usually take their kids to work, while Paul only has them when Alex is needed to help out on another boat
“I am needed at home for more than childcare and housework – we are the people on the front lines of feeding the nation.
‘If it’s not a desirable day for them to come to work, one parent stays at home, that’s country life.’
Despite living on the water, Alex has decided not to teach her kids how to swim — another rule that many concerned parents believe is dangerous.
Parents online were quick to point out that knowing how to swim could save her kids’ lives if they end up in the water alone, but Alex has said there’s a big difference between water safety and swimming.
“Swimming lessons was hard to decide, but I came to the conclusion that a toddler probably can’t swim out of the river on his own,” she said.
“Here in the river, currents and submerged objects are a big factor in drowning, and while they have a healthy fear of the water, I won’t encourage them to get into the water by taking swimming lessons.
“We play a lot by the river, and when toys fall in, they panic and come and ask me to get it.
Despite parental reactions online, Alex has no regrets about sharing her alternative parenting rules and hopes she opened up a conversation about parenting in rural areas
“When my eldest is wearing a life jacket, he is very hesitant to get into a boat, but refuses to go any further. Frankly, I want to keep it that way until they are big enough to understand how to swim out of a current.
“I’m less concerned about driving three hours to teach my toddlers how to swim so they can swim around a pool, when in reality that’s not going to help our situation.
“For now, I want soaring to be their ONLY instinct should they somehow fall into it.
“I don’t want them to see swimming as something fun that people do, at least not at this age.”
Despite the reactions from parents online, Alex has no regrets about sharing her alternative parenting rules and hopes she opened up a conversation about parenting in the countryside.
“I don’t know if I would call them rules, it’s just how we do things now because it works best for us, so I don’t regret sharing them,” she said.
“I’m actually glad I saw a few comments like “oh, I’ve never thought about it like that, makes sense.” All toddlers are different, but as long as they’re happy and healthy, they’re where they need to be.”