Mum, 33, is diagnosed with fatal skin cancer after daughter, 2, thought birthmark was a chocolate stain

A 33-year-old mother was diagnosed with stage 2 melanoma after her toddler noticed a “chocolate spot” on her wrist.

Amanda Eilian of New York visited her doctor in 2010, who initially dismissed the mole. But after much ‘pushing’ from Ms Eilian he finally agreed to remove it, although he continued to insist to the mother-of-four that it was ‘nothing’.

Just one day later, her doctor left a voicemail saying the birthmark was actually melanoma, which affects about 100,600 Americans every year.

Ms Eilian, now 47, said: ‘It was a great lesson – not the way you want to learn the lesson – to learn the importance of self-defence and taking a proactive role in your own health.

“It takes a certain amount of self-confidence to keep pushing back, and honestly, I lacked that at the time, and I still have to intentionally cultivate that knowledge that I know my body better than anyone else.”

As a light-skinned, light-eyed woman with a family history of melanoma, Ms. Eilian, co-founder and partner of healthcare and wellness investment firm _Able and investor with stakes in Goop, Daily Harvest and The Wing, knew the importance of safety against the sun and annual visits to dermatologists.

So when she noticed a dark spot on her wrist almost two years before her diagnosis, she asked her doctor to check it at least twice during previous annual skin exams, but he told her several times that it was fine.

She said Today: ‘I had noticed… a spot on my right wrist, an unusual spot, probably the darkest spot on my body. I later learned that (the color of the birthmark) is a common sign of skin cancer.”

However, Ms Eilian added: “(The doctor) had dismissed it and said, ‘Don’t worry about that.’

Finally, her concern grew in 2010 after observing her two-year-old.

She said: ‘My two-year-old pointed to the spot on my wrist, which she had never talked about before, and said, “Chocolate, you’ve got chocolate, mum.”

“It was so unusual for her to say that and notice.”

The next time she visited the dermatologist, Ms. Eilian, who joined the Melanoma Research Alliance board of directors after her diagnosis, asked him to remove the diagnosis.

She said: “He dismissed my concerns again. I said, “I feel uncomfortable, please take it off.”

‘After (my) pushing he took it off. But when he took it off, I distinctly remember him saying, “I’m just telling you right now, this is nothing.”

But the next day the doctor called Mrs. Eilian, apologized and told her she had melanoma: “He was sorry, but in fact it was something.”

The New Yorker soon began seeing another doctor who took a biopsy, which revealed the melanoma to be stage 2.

She said: ‘It was very, very scary to hear when I had two young children at home (at the time).’

Melanoma is a form of skin cancer that is less common than other types, but more dangerous. In three percent of cases, the primary cause of the cancer is unknown.

The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2024, 100,600 people will be diagnosed with cancer, accounting for five percent of all new cancers, and 8,300 people will die from it, accounting for 1.4 percent of cancer deaths.

The overall lifetime risk of developing cancer is about three percent, or one in 33 people, but the risk increases if someone has a family history of the disease.

In Ms. Eilian’s case, her grandmother and aunt had been diagnosed with melanoma, and several other people in her family had been diagnosed with less aggressive forms of skin cancer.

The numbers of new melanomas vary: in people under the age of 50, they are stable in women and have decreased by about one percent per year in men since the early 2000s.

The five-year survival rate is 94 percent, but that drops to 35 percent for melanomas that have spread.

Annual full-body dermatological skin checks are recommended, but people can perform periodic self-checks at home.

When conducting the examination, people should pay attention to the ABCDEs of skin cancer.

A stands for asymmetry: is the birthmark completely symmetrical? Melanomas are often uneven and have halves of different sizes and shapes.

B is for boundary: Does the mole have clear boundaries? Melanomas more often have irregular or jagged edges.

C is for color: is the color the same everywhere on the birthmark? Melanomas are more likely to have multiple shades.

D is for diameter: How big is the mole? Normally they should be the size of the end of a pencil and melanomas are usually larger.

Finally, E stands for evolve: has the mole changed over time? Most benign moles remain the same year after year, but melanomas can increase in size and shape and change color over time.

Following her diagnosis, Ms Eilian underwent surgery to remove the mole, but due to its location on her wrist, doctors said it would be difficult to remove the spot while the borders were wide enough to ensure all the cancer disappeared used to be.

Ms Eilian told Today: ‘There was concern that because of the amount of tissue they had to remove there was a risk of me losing some of the functionality of my hand.

‘Thank God I never had that problem. But from that point of view, surgery was a bit delicate.”

Despite the concerns, the operation was successful. The surgeon was able to remove the melanoma with clear margins and was also able to preserve full function of her wrist and hand.

Ms Eilian did not have to undergo chemotherapy or further treatment and has been free of recurrence since 2010 – although she still visits the dermatologist every three months for skin checks.

She said, “I’ve been healthy. I feel very happy.’

After her ordeal, Ms. Eilian underwent a health transformation through cleaner eating, exercise and meditation.

She said: ‘I felt very scared. Feeling like I had some control over my own journey and my own outcomes… gave me a lot of comfort and was probably helpful in my recovery.”

While in remission, Ms. Eilian said she still had concerns: “If you have melanoma, it’s one of the risk factors for things like breast cancer… My grandmother had both breast cancer and melanoma.

“Overall, it has made me more aware of my need to be careful with my health.”

Inspired by her own health journey, Ms. Eilian began investing in health and wellness companies to encourage people to be their own advocates and proactive about their health.

She added: ‘While I would never say I know as much about melanoma or dermatology as a doctor, I do know more about my body than anyone.

‘Be persistent and have confidence in yourself and your own observations.’

Because a family history increases the risk of melanoma, Ms. Eilian said her children are now having skin checks, including the daughter who prompted her to recheck her mole.

Ms Eilian said: ‘I have to thank my now 15-year-old daughter for identifying it. She saved my life.’